Bryan's Journal of Miracles 2008

Bryan’s Journal of Miracles
As told by his mom …

March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Mike - Bryan’s Father
Kathy - Bryan's Mom (me)
Amberly - Bryan’s Sister
Brendan - Amberly's Husband
Cris - Bryan’s Brother
"My Mom" - Bryan’s Grandma Mary
"My Dad" - Bryan’s Grandpa Ray
Sherry - Bryan’s aunt (my sister) who is clairvoyant
Darlene - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Debbie - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Lori - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Sherry S. - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Bev - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Barb - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Kelly - Bryan’s cousin (Darlene’s daughter, my niece)
Joe - Bryan’s cousin (Sherry S’s son who passed away a few years ago)
Jacob - Bryan's cousin (Lori's son)
Mike R. - Sherry’s husband (Bryan’s uncle through marriage)
Connie - my sister who died at birth
Bob & Ruth - Bryan’s Grandma and Grandpa (Mike’s parents, deceased)
Grandma & Grandpa LaGambo - Bryan’s Great-Grandma & Great-Grandpa (Kathy’s grandparents, deceased)
Brooke - Bryan’s high school girlfriend and his first true love
Paul Becker - Lori’s friend from childhood who had been an addict all his life and died in his 40’s
Josh D. - Bryan’s childhood friend
Carol - Bryan’s friend from high school
Marge - my friend
Citte - my friend from California who met Bryan last summer
Chad - Bryan’s childhood friend
Ruthie - Our neighbor and long-time friend
Jessica - Bryan's Friend
Ric - Bryan's Friend
Jason (Jay) - Bryan's Friend
Ed - My business partner and long-time friend

If you have been following along with this journal, then you would be aware of the crazy sounds that Bryan had been doing around the holidays with my cell phone. It has been working fine ever since the last incident, so I had no reason to take it in for service. Well, today I was telling Marge (she works in our store sporadically and has been away since before Christmas) about this whole story with the phone. She always loves Bryan's antics because he's given her plenty of signs. Anyway, about an hour after I told her the story, my phone started doing the sounds again. Chirping like crazy! I picked it up and looked at the face of the phone and the time was -- you guessed it -- exactly 3:17! I took the phone over and showed it to Marge and she almost died. The phone continued to chirp and Marge was trying to figure out what the sounds meant because it almost sounded like a Morse code. When she counted the chirps, she noticed they usually came in sequences of 17. Pretty crazy, huh? It wouldn't stop until I disengaged the battery and restarted the phone. Then it hasn't happened again since. But how wild is that? He had to show her what I was talking about and had to do it at 3:17! But the saga goes on ... see January 16th entry.

It's hard to believe that today marks four years since Bryan's passing. I find it hard to believe he's "dead" as he's so alive to us in so many ways. Not just in the signs he gives to us, but in the ways he touches others. I still receive messages from TJ with the visits she gets from him ... apparently he loves her music (she plays in a band) and just like to "hang out" with her. But today I was wondering if we would get any special signs. Mike and I had to go out this afternoon and when we did, we were in a crowded shopping area in our car when a hawk came swooping down right over us -- and there was absolutely nothing like trees around or anything that should have had a hawk in the area. And not half an hour later, another one appeared over our car circling. So brief as it was, we knew he was around today.

To continue the phone story, again it's been working fine ever since the 3rd with no weird sounds at all. Then today is my mom's birthday and we were on our way to pick her up to take her to breakfast. And wouldn't you know it ... on the way there, my phone started doing it's crazy little chirping sounds again! I know he would have been with us if he were still alive as he loved his Grandma, so this was just his way of telling her happy birthday. (I added this entry on January 21st and the phone has remained quiet ever since the 16th)

Today I got a very cool email from TJ with a message from Bryan. Here is what she wrote:

As always, I had no doubt it was Bryan. And as is so typical of the signs he gives, he always immediately follows up with a confirmation such as the BB license plate. Just so you know that it was really him ... in case you ever have any doubt! NOT!

Bryan has never missed giving me a Valentine's Day gift even after he's been gone. I knew a few weeks ago when a little advertising card fell out of a magazine I was reading that it was supposed to be a gift from him. The card was for an Irish shamrock ring in diamonds and emeralds and wasn't very expensive. I showed it to Mike and said that I think Bryan wants me to have it for Valentine's Day. Naturally, he agreed to get it for me "from Bryan." I thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn't. First a little background ... the first year after he died, butterflies were a HUGE sign from him (and still are but that first year it was just constant). Anyway, I had ordered a bunch of umbrellas from Avon that had butterflies all over the inside of the umbrella so that when it was opened, if you looked up, all you saw were butterflies in all colors and shapes. The umbrellas were so beautiful that I bought one for all the girls in our family. When I bought my new car last year, my umbrella disappeared and I had been unable to locate it anywhere. It made me really sad as I had bought them for everyone else but mine was gone. I figured I must have somehow left it in my old car when I turned it in. I had searched absolutely everywhere in my entire house and could not find it. I finally mentioned it to Amberly and she offered to give me hers. She brought it over a few days ago and two of the little prongs had come disconnected from the fabric, so I had to sew it back on. After I did this, I carried the umbrella to my foyer and set it on the umbrella stand to take to my car. And -- you will not believe this -- but there on the umbrella stand right next to where I was setting this umbrella down was ANOTHER umbrella that looked just like this one. I did a double take and said to myself that it could not possibly be the same umbrella but had to be another blue umbrella. But when I picked it up and opened it, it WAS the same umbrella with the butterflies on the inside. I literally could not believe my eyes. Where it came from or how it got there is a total mystery to me. Mike hadn't put it there and no one else has been here, so there is just no way it could have been there. Yet it was. My missing umbrella miraculously appeared for me again! I was able to give Amberly's back to her and she just laughed and said that every year she always tried to beat Bryan with a gift to me and never was able to do it. This year she finally did ... but not by much! LOL

A few weeks ago, my Aunt Betty passed away. Her last name was Willy and I have been waiting for a sign from Bryan to let me know that he had met her in heaven. Well, today I got my message. Several things happened ... Mike and I were out in the car when my cell phone chirped at me. I picked it up and the time was 3:17. Ok, pretty good sign from him, but I needed proof. So I asked him (in my mind) to let me see a hawk. Well, within a minute a hawk appeared right over our car. Cool! It WAS Bryan! But I didn't connect this to my aunt at this time. However, when I returned home and checked my email, there was an email in my box at 3:17 from "bryan willy". How cool is that?!?!? I'm so glad that they're together!

This afternoon I got a call from Sherry who was very excited to have just gotten a sign from Bryan. She said she was in her kitchen and outside in the yard was a hawk. She called her hubby, Mike, over to see it but when he came over and she looked back out, the hawk wasn't where she'd seen it. But then Mike pointed to a tree near their porch and there was the hawk, close to her bird feeders. Sherry tapped on the window and waved her arms to scare the hawk away when, suddenly, he rose up and flew right over to the railing directly in front of the window where they were standing and LOOKED RIGHT AT THEM! Mike immediately said, "THAT"S Bryan!" After a moment, the hawk flew off but it was one of those WOW! moments when something like that happens that you simply can't believe what you saw. She called me right away to share it. I have no doubt it was Bryan giving them a big Hi!

Amberly had a pretty bizarre thing happen to her recently. She had turned on her computer and up popped a little window on her screen ... it was a log-in box and already filled in the name section was 'Bryanrb317". This was one of Bryan's screen names years ago, but her computer is new within the last year, Bryan had NEVER used it nor did she even know that this was one of his old screen names. There is no way that name was ever in her computer yet there it was. She was so stunned by it that she took a photo of it with her cell phone. Here is a copy of that picture:

How does something like that even happen?? There is simply no way that it could. Amberly had never even known of that screen name ... in fact, I barely even remembered it as he always used another name (one with his nickname of beans in it). So what else could it be but Bryan giving Amberly a hello from heaven? Amazing!

Well, today is Bryan's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN!) and while I hoped to get a sign from him, I really didn't notice anything out of the ordinary or more than what I notice every day (lights flickering, hawks, etc.). Several people, however, did email to let me know they were thinking of Bryan today and I just wanted to let them know I appreciate their thoughts and good wishes.

Afterthought: There actually was something that occurred today that I sort of connected to Bryan but I second-guessed myself and talked myself out of it being him. But after telling others about it, I realize that it had to be Bryan. As time goes on, I tend to not give him credit for things that occur because I feel like I'm "reaching" ... when, in fact, had these things occurred a few years ago, I would never have questioned it. Anyway, here is what happened. When I got in the car to drive home from work today, a Bee Gees song came on the radio ... "You Should be Dancing." I did think of him but Bee Gees songs are usually a sign for my mom and occasionally for me but not often, so I didn't think it was him just because it was a Bee Gees song. But immediately after the song ended, I heard the announcer say that "a bit of Bee Gees trivia ... they made their first TV appearance in the U.S. on this date in 1968." Ok, that was weird. For two reasons -- one, I don't usually even hear anything the announcer's say after a song ends and two, how ironic that it was THIS date, Bryan's birthday. Then I thought that this must be a sign from Bryan. It wasn't until I was telling Amberly about it that I realized the significance of the song ... tonight was the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars. I think Bryan was just letting me know he sees what's going on in my life. We love that show and have been eagerly awaiting it's premiere.

My niece, Jade, received a very special sign from Bryan today. She realized it was Bryan's birthday and wished him a happy birthday and told him she missed him. Shortly thereafter, she went into her room and opened a dresser drawer to look for something and was amazed to see a scattering of coins sprinkled all over the top of her clothes! Now what makes this extraordinary is that earlier today, she had literally ransacked this same drawer in search of a particular blouse, so she KNEW there were no coins in that drawer let alone being on TOP of the clothes in it! She immediately connected the coins to Bryan and, almost not believing her own eyes, closed the drawer and opened it again half expecting the coins to have vanished. Instead, they were still there and she would have sworn there were even more! So Bryan let her know he heard her birthday wishes in his own very special way ;-)

Today I was picking up Amberly to take her to work with me. When I got in the car and was pulling out of my driveway, the "Lion Sleeps Tonight" came on the radio. This song is DEFINITELY a Bryan song and one he uses frequently to say hi to us. So I smiled knowing he was around me today. When I picked Amberly up, the minute she got in the car and we started to drive, Eric Clapton's "You Look Wonderful Tonight" came on the radio. This song was the song used for her and Brendan's wedding last year and we both noticed it immediately. I knew Bryan was giving her a shout out too. When we were at the shop, she took a break and went outside to smoke. She was sitting on a bench and suddenly the leaves at her feet began to swirl around and around. She looked around and there was no wind anywhere else and no leaves were blowing anywhere else, but the ones by her continued to swirl around and then up in a small tornado. Then one of them blew right into her face! She laughed and felt like Bryan had reached out and gently slapped her. When she looked back down, there was a crumpled up dollar bill in with the leaves!

A few days ago I received a watch that I had won on ebay. The seller told me it didn't work, so when I received it, I wound it up and gave it a few shakes to get it going. After a bit, it did start to go so I've been watching it since then to be sure it's still running. This afternoon when I checked it, it had finally stopped. And guess what time it stopped at? Yep ... 3:17! I can't even say I was surprised but just smiled and said HI to Bryan. And of course, today just happened to be the 17th as well! :-)

This morning I was working in the kitchen for about an hour when I finally decided to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee and look through some catalogs. I had barely turned the first page when the chandelier over the table blinked off and then back on. I KNEW it was Bryan telling me Happy Mother's Day! I had been in there for over an hour and the light hadn't blinked until I sat down to relax. It really made me happy to know he was around this morning ;-)

Today we were in Long Island, New York, for a small group session with a world-famous medium, Robert Brown. We had many signs along the way that Bryan would be coming through for us and he did! We were the third reading that Robert did and Robert immediately told us our son was there and that one of our parents (Mike's) were with him but were stepping back because they knew we needed to hear from Bryan. But they wanted us to know they were there as well which was really cool. There were many validations ... we were able to tape our portion of the reading and I will try to get it transcribed within the next few months for the site. One of the most surprising validations was one about a "book with lots of little pictures in it, I think it's called a yearbook" (Robert is British so isn't familiar with our yearbooks). Well, we had just had Bryan's yearbook out on Sunday evening (3 days ago) looking up Ryan Malone's picture (one of the Pittsburgh Penguins who went to school with Cris and Bryan). Cris and Kristen were there and after we looked up Ryan's picture, we naturally went to Bryan's. Robert then said that Bryan was telling him he was right there looking over our shoulders that night and that the name "Marie or Maria" was being given as proof. He then told us to go back home and check the yearbook again to see if there was a Marie or Maria near Bryan's picture. Sure enough there was! Right in the row beneath Bryan was Maria! All I can say is WOW! I guess he really WAS looking over our shoulders!

Marge called me this afternoon to let me know she got a big HI from Bryan. She was driving past the funeral home where Bryan was laid out and, naturally, thought of him and said a silent hello to him. At the very next red light, she happened to glance at the license plate in front of her and the holder said "Frank BEAN Automotive". She just had to call me right away and tell me that he had heard her!

Today was Amberly's birthday and this evening we took her and Brendan out to dinner. Mike and I arrived first and were waiting for them to arrive at an outside patio table. When Amber and Brendan arrived, Amberly immediately noticed three coins on the pavement right next to her chair. She knew they were from Bryan and when she looked at the dates, one of them was 1977, her birth year. A few minutes later, Brendan heard something fall on the pavement between his and Amberly's chairs and when they looked down, there was ANOTHER penny! We just laughed and I made the joke about watch out for falling pennies. Anyway, later that evening, Amberly bought a lottery ticket and used the 1977 penny to scratch off the ticket and won $15. All in all, a pretty cool birthday gift from her brother!

This afternoon Darlene and I were going out shopping together. When we merged onto an interstate, traffic was pretty heavy and I was having trouble getting into the left lane. Finally there was a break and I pulled in, right behind a white Impala. I thought of Bryan but didn't say anything until a second later when the "Lion Sleeps Tonight" came on the radio! I laughed and told Darlene about the Impala and how the song came on right after I was thinking of Bryan. She then told me that she recently bought an Impala and bought it in a very strange way. She was at the car dealer with her hubby buying HIM a new car when something compelled her to look at the car she was standing next to. It was an Impala, but she had never even looked at an Impala before. She said something strongly made her HAVE TO HAVE that car! She kept nudging her hubby -- who was talking to the salesperson about HIS car -- and telling him she wanted that car. She told me that she didn't even get in the car or look at it very close, she just knew she had to have it. And buy it they did, right after sealing the deal on her hubby's car. Just this morning she was telling Larry (her hubby) how strange it was that she had the urge to buy that particular car when she wasn't even looking for a car. Then today when I told her Bryan had an Impala, she was like, "I knew there had to be something making me buy it!" She hadn't even known or remembered Bryan having an Impala but now Darlene has one and so does my dad as well. If Bryan has his way, we'll ALL have one before long! He did love that car! LOL

August, 2008

August has been an extremely busy month with dozens of signs from Bryan. I didn't want to post anything until this was a "done deal" as I am superstitious about writing about something before it comes to fruition. Anyway, to make a long story short, I had been casually looking for a place to open a gift shop for Amberly and my gift basket business to take it to the next level. I never mentioned this to her but just kept a lookout for a good spot, never finding one for the past couple of years. Then she mentioned to me one night that there was an "adorable" building for rent near her house. We jumped in the car and drove to look at it. I immediately fell in love with the look of the bulding, the great curb appeal, and the location. I had a strong sense that this was it. So we began the process of negotiating a lease and we now are in the stages of opening a new business! We are so excited ... but ... this is the great part. From the very beginning, Bryan has been giving us HUGE signs that he is around and is so excited about it. Here are just some of the things that have happened:

Photo of store with GREEN TRUCK parked beside it!

I couldn't believe it! What a validation! If I hadn't JUST sent the photo, I probably wouldn't even have made the connection. But there was absolutely no way I could have missed it simply because of the time. TJ had no idea what the message was when she received it but simply passed it along to me. Nothing could have made me happier! It never ceases to amaze me how he manages to communicate with us.

When Amberly and I went in to meet with the landlord, there was a dime laying on the conference table in her office. We asked her if she had put it there and she looked kind of perplexed and said that she had no idea where it had come from. But we did ;-)
Almost every time Amber and I are out looking for store fixtures or checking on the construction at the building, cars with license plate numbers that match Bryan's birthdate show up right in front of us. And the hawk appears almost every time we are there. It's just been an amazing month with so many signs from Bryan that I couldn't possibly list them all. But coins have turned up left and right and butterflies have begun appearing on our door almost daily. One afternoon one white butterfly was INSIDE our sliding screen door in the kitchen and it was right in the handle. We couldn't miss it!

September, 2008

This has been a whirlwind of a month with all the work we are doing in the new store. Bryan has been with us every step of the way with all kinds of signs, both big and little, but the ones that stand out most in my mind are what he has done with the computer. TWICE when I sat down at the computer to go to a website or check on email, when the screen came on, Bryan's website was on! The first time it happened, I asked Amberly if she had pulled up his site for some reason and she told me she had not. And I knew I hadn't. Still, I thought it might be a coincidence. Then a few days later, it happened again. Just all by itself -- or with a little helping hand from Bryan -- there was his face smiling out at me from his website. I just knew it was his new way of saying hello to us and letting us know he is with us there in the new store ... just like I know he would be if he were still alive. How he would have enjoyed all we're doing!

October, 2008

Things have been so hectic with the new store opening (hopefully by end of this month) that I haven't had a lot of time to write even though we've had some amazing signs. Something happened today that was just amazing. As I was approaching the new store, I could see the intersection whwere the store is located from about half a mile away and I could see three hawks circling right overhead. Then I happened to look at the white car in front of me and the license plate was 1791 (17 being Bryan's birthday and 91 being the 9th of January when he died). The impact of this was just so striking that I called Mike and told him about it. As I approached the intersection, the light turned yellow so I stopped. This is a very long light and so I then called Amberly, all the while watching the hawks circling overhead. They moved as a group and followed my car right into the parking lot of our store. I got out and looked up at them, still talking to Amberly on the phone. She told me to take a picture of them so I hung up and raced into the store to get my camera, still looking to be sure they were still there (of course, I'd already been watching them for about 6 minutes, so I assumed they would be there for a while longer). I literally was not inside for more than 5 seconds but when I came back out to take their picture, ALL of them had disappeared! I looked in all directions as far as the eye could see and there wasn't a single hawk! Were they spirit hawks??? I believe they were.

Eternal Flame

October 19: Amberly, Brendan and I were working over at the new store trying to get ready for our grand opening in a few weeks. We were all three standing around the counter area when Amberly's cell phone started ringing with the identi-ring from Brendan. But Brendan's phone was in his pocket and he didn't call Amber. I thought perhaps the dial button got pushed by accident but when he took out his phone, it is a flip that can't be bumped by accident. So he checked and even though Amberly's phone was still ringing with Brendan's special ring tone song, his phone WAS NOT in call mode! When her phone stopped ringing, both of them checked to see what showed up in their call history. Amberly's last call was not from Brendan but from me a few hours before. Brendan's last placed call was to a friend earlier today. There was NO record of the call we had all three just heard! We all knew right away that it was Bryan but he confirmed it a second later when I went to write up the next price tag ... the inventory number was 1317! It's just amazed all of us how he has made his presence known at the store time and time again. He would just have loved to be a part of this! Which brings to mind something else that happened last week. Read on for this one ...

Eternal Flame

I don't know if any of you recall the poem that Amberly wrote for Bryan's birthday in 2004, two months after he passed away, that she read at a birthday service we held for him. My nephew had framed this for her and she has it hanging in her house. One morning last week she was drawn to the poem and read it from the beginning (you can read it here on the "Amberly's Letter to Bryan" page) ... when she got to the last verse, she couldn't believe her eyes. The last two words of the poem were SIMPLY DIVINE! This is what we are naming our new store which Amberly came up with out of the clear blue back in August. At that time, she had no idea about this poem that she had written more than four years ago and had totally forgotten the words. When we were tossing around names, this one popped into her head and she really liked it. So we decided to call the store Simply Divine! When she noticed this in the poem and read the last three verses again, she realized the significance of it. Bryan named our store! Here are the last three verses of her poem ... you can't miss the meaning of it:

I invite your spiritual presence
To walk with me
Through my physical life,
Whatever that might be�

Until we can walk together
Down Heavens Lane
When our souls re-unite
On a spiritual plane�

Happy Birthday Beans
Dear Brother of Mine -
You're amazing and Glorious
~ SIMPLY DIVINE

Saturday, November 15, 2008

This morning I had a pretty amazing sign from Bryan. I was feeling a little low and missing him a lot. We've gotten signs, certainly, but all similar to the many others we've had over the years. Now don't get me wrong ... I'm not complaining by any means but just felt a little bit like maybe I was reading too much into some of the things that happened all the time. Maybe they weren't him after all. So I asked him last night for a "different" sign ... I told him I really missed him and just needed something special, something different so that I would KNOW it was him. Well, in his usual fashion, he totally blew me away. As I was getting dressed for work, I opened my closet door and on the floor was a wrinkled up piece of fabric. I picked it up to throw it away and as I walked into the bathroom to toss it in the trash, "something" (Bryan?) made me open my hand and unravel the piece of fabric. I nearly had a heart attack when the letters on the piece of fabric staring back at me were:

b.r.b.!

What on earth?????? I never heard of b.r.b. ... so I stretched out the label and the other side said "be right back" (click to see). Wow and double wow! What an amazing sign. I guess "be right back" is some type of clothing line but I had never heard of it and certainly wasn't aware that I had ever bought anything of their's. Yet there it was ... and what a message it was! I can't express how excited and happy I felt all day. I made a little bracelet out of it and will be wearing it on my wrist for quite a while!

Note: If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal. These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.

Bryan’s Journal of Miracles As told by his mom …

March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Bryan’s Journal of Miracles
As told by his mom …