In Loving Memory of Bryan Raymond Burch

Bryan’s Journal of Miracles
As told by his mom …

Eternal Flame Bryan R. Burch Eternal Flame

March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

This page is to document the many "signs" and "visits" that Bryan has made to us since his passing ... miracles to those of us who have received them. The one thing that makes these miracles more than just coincidences is the "feeling" that comes over you when these occur. Everyone has expressed the same sensation of warmth, peace, and love that flows through you when they happen and the "knowing" that you are experiencing a true miracle. Unfortunately, this feeling cannot be captured on paper, yet it is so strong and so overwhelming that it makes the occurrence believable beyond a doubt. Keep that in mind when reading these because that feeling happened to each person for every one of these instances ... and as we heard three times from different sources within the first two days of his passing ...

"Remember ... there are no coincidences!"

Quick Jump Links:

List of those mentioned in the journal:

Mike - Bryan’s Father
Kathy - Bryan's Mom (me)
Amberly - Bryan’s Sister
Cris - Bryan’s Brother
"My Mom" - Bryan’s Grandma Mary
"My Dad" - Bryan’s Grandpa Ray
Sherry - Bryan’s aunt (my sister) who is clairvoyant
Darlene - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Debbie - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Lori - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Sherry S. - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Bev - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Barb - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Kelly - Bryan’s cousin (Darlene’s daughter, my niece)
Joe - Bryan’s cousin (Sherry S’s son who passed away a few years ago)

Jacob - Bryan's cousin (Lori's son)
Mike R. - Sherry’s husband (Bryan’s uncle through marriage)
Connie - my sister who died at birth
Bob & Ruth - Bryan’s Grandma and Grandpa (Mike’s parents, deceased)
Grandma & Grandpa LaGambo - Bryan’s Great-Grandma & Great-Grandpa (Kathy’s grandparents, deceased)
Brooke - Bryan’s high school girlfriend and his first true love
Paul Becker - Lori’s friend from childhood who had been an addict all his life and died in his 40’s
Josh D. - Bryan’s childhood friend
Carol - Bryan’s friend from high school
Marge - my friend
Citte - my friend from California who met Bryan last summer
Chad - Bryan’s childhood friend
Ruthie - Our neighbor and long-time friend
Jessica - Bryan's Friend
Ric - Bryan's Friend
Jason (Jay) - Bryan's Friend
Ed - My business partner and long-time friend


Saturday, May 1

Today many things happened! Amberly and I were going to Akron, Ohio, for another John Edward seminar. And today Kelly was graduating from college! We knew we would be back this evening and would be able to see her then, so we got up early and drove to Akron. On the way, Bryan let us know he was with us with over two dozen hawks. This was Amberly's first experience seeing the hawks and she was amazed at how they almost all would change direction and fly right over our car or follow us as we passed them. Even though I had been telling her about this for weeks now, seeing it was an awesome experience for her. You really can't appreciate how unusual or amazing this is unless you experience it firsthand. So we knew he was with us! Once we arrived at the venue in Akron, we got in line (which was three blocks long and wrapped completely around the convention center!). We made friends with the women immediately in front of and behind us and we all decided to sit together once we got inside. Before the show began, I went to the restroom and as I was standing in line, I noticed the girl in front of me had a blue butterfly tattoo on her back right shoulder. I couldn't believe my eyes! There were several thousand people in attendance and even though we felt Bryan's presence, we didn't get "read" directly. John explained in the beginning how oftentimes when you are listening to someone else's reading, a message will come through that sounds as if it is meant for you. He said this is called a "me too" message and can, in fact, be your loved one making a cameo appearance through them to say hello to you. When he said this, I felt he was validating our experience last week with the chick peas (Beans!) reference. Today, at one point he came to our section and was reading two different people right behind us. Almost everything he said related to Bryan as well and at several points, the hair on my neck stood up and my skin began to tingle. I felt that Bryan was making his appearance through these readings and was there with us. His presence was so strongly felt that I had no doubt. But as in Washington, he was stepping back to allow the others to be read. All in all it was an aweseome day!

On our way home, we saw two rainbows ... the first one was literally right over the highway as we drove. And several hawks made their appearance letting us know he was still with us. When we arrived at Kelly's graduation party, Darlene couldn't wait to tell me that Bryan had left his own special congratulations message for Kelly. When she got up this morning, two blue butterfly magnets from her fridge were on the floor. This has happened a few times since Bryan passed and always on a day with significance. In the rush to leave for commencement, Darlene didn't get to show them to Kelly but left them on the floor. As they were driving home afterward, she told Kelly that someone had left her a message. Kelly asked her if it was on the answering machine and Darlene said no ............ just then, the song that Bryan has given Kelly, "My Immortal", came on the radio. Kelly knew right then that it was a message from Bryan and suspected the butterflies. She was totally amazed to see them on the floor when she got home ... as she said to me later, those magnets never fall off the fridge and there are so many on there that's it's amazing that only the blue butterflies are the ones on the floor! Anyway, Congratulations Kelly! Way to go girl! Bryan and all of us are so proud of you!


Monday, May 3

This afternoon my cell phone rang with a very strange ring I had never heard. It was a very bouncy tune ... my partner Ed heard it and I made a comment to him about what a weird ring that was. He said it sounded like an Irish jig ... and joked that it was a leprechaun! I said, "It must be Bryan!!" He didn't get the connection so I pointed out Bryan was born on St. Patrick's day. When I checked to see who the caller was, it was Mike calling from home. My phone is set to play a tune called "toy box" when our home number calls it. This was definitely NOT toy box!!!! Bryan has done things with the phone before but he's never done anything like this. It was VERY cool! I love it when he learns new things!

Eternal Flame

Kelly was leaving today for a trip to Paris and she said that she "felt" Bryan telling her to take him with her. Kelly has a little locket which holds some of Bryan's ashes, so she wore it to Paris. She let Amberly know that Bryan was on his way to Paris today.

Eternal Flame

Tonight I received an amazing email! It as an animated card for Mother's Day ... it wasn't "from" anyone ... there was no signature ... the subject just said "Hey Mom!" When I clicked on it, an animated musical card came on and the message said:

Just Wanted to Say I
Love You and
Happy Mother's Day!

Thank You For Being
There All These Years!


Thursday, May 6

This morning Bryan woke me with the song "More Than Words" by Extreme. When I downloaded the song and the lyrics, it literally made me cry. And yesterday, I received another crazy email Mother's Day Card from no one ... it just showed up in my inbox. It read:

M is for Mother, a magnificent being
O is for Open, caring and kind
T is for Teacher, you taught me well
H is for Hugs, cuddles and comfort
E is for Everything you've done for me
R is for the Respect you demand

I love you Mom
Happy Mother's Day!

Eternal Flame

The following incident actually occurred on January 12 at Bryan's Memorial Service, but so much had happened that day that I had forgotten to add this. Rather than go back and put it in where it belongs, I am adding it here. Mike has brought this up several times since the day this happened and it was rather amazing ... all of you who know Mike will know how out of character this is for him:

As we were going into the church for the memorial service, Reverend Norris was telling Mike and I that he was unable to play the CD of Josh Groban's "To Where You Are" that I had requested. Instead, he said he would read the words. "I'm not going to sing it, though," he added with a chuckle. Mike looked at him and said, "You promise?" He was immediately mortified that he had actually said that to the pastor! He says he KNOWS that it was Bryan speaking through him as it was totally Bryan's sense of humor. Mike would NEVER in his wildest imaginings have said something like that. To this day, he just laughs every time he thinks about it.

Eternal Flame

Yesterday, I had a mishap where I spilled an entire cup of coffee on my computer keyboard. The last time this happened, Bryan had knocked over my coffee and caused me to have to buy a new keyboard. I remember chastising him for being so clumsy. Then yesterday, I did the exact same thing. After buying a new keyboard and spending over an hour disassembling my computer desk and connections to hook it up, I finally got it working. This morning, in my inbox, was another one of those mysterious "junk" emails that Bryan is able to send me. The subject? "Keyboard" ... nothing else ... just "keyboard"! Isn't it just like him to let me know that he KNOWS what I did? I can't get away with anything! I could almost hear him laughing and teasing me about being so clumsy. Guess he's getting the last laugh!


Friday, May 7

Today when I went into work, Marge had a Mother's Day surprise for me from Bryan. It was a beautiful blue jeweled butterfly hair pin. What makes this gift so remarkable is how she came to have it ... her daughter, Valerie (who has been very in tune with Bryan since his passing), found the hairpin lying in the grass in their front yard beneath a tree where they had seen a hawk last month. As soon as she picked it up, she "knew" it was meant for me. It is a really gorgeous hairpin with four blue opal jewels that make up the butterfly wings. The pin wasn't even dirty from lying outside ... it was clean and new looking! It is not a particularly large piece ... the butterfly measures less than an inch ... and I'm amazed that Valerie even noticed it in the grass. I guess it was meant to be ;-) .............. Thanks, Bryan ... and Valerie!

Eternal Flame

After work, as we were leaving the shop, Marge, Valerie and I were standing in the alley behind the store talking -- about Bryan -- before we went to our separate cars. A "clanging" noise caught our attention and Marge asked,"What was that?" I looked toward the sound and there was a 10 foot section of downspout hanging against a nearby building and it was moving slightly and banging against the attached section of downspout. Not particularly strange ... except that there was not a speck of wind ... not even a breeze! I pointed to it and told Marge to look at the downspout. We both stared at it for a minute and then looked at each other with big grins on our faces. I asked her, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She laughed and said, "Yep! Hi sweetie! We love you, Bryan!" And then to me, she said, "That's amazing! There is no wind at all!" We both knew he was letting us know he was right there with us. I have felt his presence around me all this week stronger than usual and I think it's because Mother's Day is coming and he wants to be close for me. Amberly has also felt him around her more than usual. It's just amazing how they can project their nearness so that it is almost palpable. I thank him and the Lord for giving us this peace and love.


Sunday, May 9

Today marks four months since Bryan's passing, so it is a sad day for me. On top of that, it is Mother's Day. It's very difficult on a day such as today to be the mother of a child you have lost. Bryan is still and will always be my baby, whether he is here or on the other side, and I want him to know that he is as much a part of this day for me as Amberly and Cris. He has been so close to me all this week with so many special signs he has sent. This morning, when I checked my email, there were 4 Mother's Day cards awaiting me ... not sent from anyone or signed by anyone ... they were just "there" in my inbox. Here is what they said:

Card #1

CERTIFICATE OF LOVE
Awarded to:
Kathy
on this day
May 9, 2004

in honor of being:
A Mom Sent from Heaven

Awarded by:
Someone who KNOWS you are the BEST MOM ever!

Happy Mother's Day

Card #2

Wonderful Like You

A wonderful mother like you
Is a blessing so special and rare,
And to have a mother like you
Is like the answer to a prayer.

I just want to thank you
For your kind and caring ways,
And hope you are blessed forever
With bright and happy days!

Thank you for being such a Wonderful Mother
Happy Mother's Day!

Card #3

Mom, for all you do ...
This bud's for you (points to a rose)

Wishing you a Wonderful Mother's Day!

Card #4

Big Bright Kisses
have been sent to YOU today.

Someone thinks you're a terrific mom
and would like to say ...

200 Kisses ...
400 Kisses ...
600 Kisses ...
800 Kisses ...
1000 Kisses ...

1001 Mother's Day Kisses for YOU
because that's what a wonderful mom you are!
I LOVE YOU!

Eternal Flame

This morning, Amberly decided to make breakfast for us in honor of Mother's Day. While she was putting the bread in the toaster, I heard her say to no one, "All right! All right! You win!" She then looked at me and said, "Mom, Bryan will NOT let me do this. He is insisting that you open your cards and gifts NOW! I can't argue with him!" She then went on to explain that she was hearing him inside her head and that he wouldn't let up (he's done this with Sherry several times), so I went to the table to open the cards. Amberly gave me two Mother's Day cards today ... one small one from her and one very LARGE one from Bryan along with a framed glass picture depicting a blue butterfly fluttering over a garden of flowers done on frosted glass to use as a suncatcher. It is gorgeous! But the funny thing was the story behind this. She said when she went to purchase her card for me, Bryan was there with her and picked out a card with a blue butterfly on the front and the most beautiful verse inside "From Your Son". It was an expensive card and Amber is on a very limited budget, but he was insistent, so she bought it. Then as she was wandering around the store, she found the glass butterfly picture in a spot where there was nothing else like it ... like someone had carried it there and left it. Feeling sure that Bryan wanted her to get it for me, she added it to her cart, leaving her with only enough money to get a bargain card from her to me! ;-) She also said that when she was signing Bryan's card, he told her he wanted her to sign it "Love Eternal" and which words to underline in the card. The verse inside was very poignant and the card was beautiful, as was Amberly's. It was a beautiful Mother's Day morning!

Eternal Flame

This afternoon, I received another "junk" email with no subject but the sender's name field contained the words "Bryan Fountain". We just recently bought a beautiful fountain to put on the deck of our home with a lion's head at the top. We bought this fountain in honor of Bryan's memory ... the lion was his symbol, so we chose this one specifically for him. I believe this email was letting me know he is aware of the fountain and sees what we have done. It always amazes me when I receive these emails with the strange subjects or senders ... and they are always so timely. Just his way of letting me know he "sees" what's going on in our lives ;-)

Eternal Flame

Tonight while we were watching TV, our cat leaped across my lap and was looking out the window quite excited at something on our back deck. It was pretty dark out (it was around 10:30 p.m.) but the light was on and I looked out to see what he was seeing. There was a little raccoon climbing up the baker's rack we have outside to get bread scraps we left out for the birds and squirrels! This little guy climbed up and down at least 6 or 7 times until he ate all the bread, then he climbed down and waddled across the deck and down the stairs. In all my years here, I have NEVER had a raccoon come up on our deck! Even with us watching him out the window 12 feet away, he remained there undeterred until he had eaten all the bread. I truly felt he was a gift from Bryan for me for Mother's Day ...


Monday, May 10

Tonight as I was driving home from work, a very strange bird flew across the highway just above my car. It was as big as a hawk but his entire body was jet black and his head was solid bright red! This was something I have never seen before in our area and I knew it was another sign from Bryan. I told my mom about it as she knows a lot about birds, but it wasn't familiar to her. (Follow-up: At dinner on Tuesday night, my mom brought along her bird identification book and we found the bird in this book. It was a turkey vulture! So at least I know now what it is although I have never seen anything like it here!)


Tuesday, May 11

Today I listed several dozen auctions on ebay and was tracking their progress all day on the net. We went out to dinner this evening and I purposely left the auction listings page up on the computer so that I would simply have to refresh the screen when I returned home to see what the current bidding was up to. Amazingly, when I returned home and jogged the mouse to bring up the screen, instead of the Ebay list, I saw Bryan's smiling face beaming at me from his website! There is NO WAY that page could have been left on the computer or even have switched to it by itself as no one else was at home. When I checked the "back" button at the top of the page, it brought up my auction listings page. I was truly amazed at this! Not only was it his website, but it was on the picture of him at about 12 years old in the Mickey Mouse shirt with the BIG smile on his face. What a wonderful way to greet me upon my return home!


Thursday, May 13

Today I received my validation about the raccoon that showed up on the deck Sunday night. As Bryan so often does with my email, he puts "messages" in the subject or sender's names that will mean something to me. Today I received one that said simply "raccoon" in the subject field. 'Nough said for me! Thanks Bryan!


Friday, May 14

This evening, Cris walked outside and almost stepped on a gorgeous butterfly on our driveway right at the end of our sidewalk. As he stood there, it flew up to the roof of our bay window of our family room, so he came inside and called us out to see it. I have never seen a butterfly like this one! The top of its wings were jet black and looked like black velvet. It was reclining on the roof and was stretched out completely flat. Cris tossed some mulch up on the roof to get it to raise its wings, which it finally did. To our amazement, the underside of his wings had beautifully colored spots! These were NOT visible on the top of the wings. I had used my cell phone camera to capture a picture of the butterfly with its wings down, but the distance was too far, so it's hard to see much more than a black "splotch" ... so I ran inside to get my digital camera with the zoom. With this, I was able to capture the butterfly's wings in the up position to show the spots underneath. We all felt this was a fantastic sign from Bryan ... especially because black was always Bryan's favorite color. Here are the photos ... click on the pics for close-up images.

Butterfly with Wings Down ...... Butterfly with Wings Up
Click Pics for Enlarged Images


Saturday, May 15

Today Bryan awoke me with another song ... this one was Johnny Mathis' "Twelfth of Never". I will try to get the song online sometime this week. It's such a beautiful song and the words are so lovely ... thanks, Bryan, for these special gifts of song that you give me first thing in the morning!

Eternal Flame

This morning, Mike noticed a cute little white butterfly with very pale bluish highlights perched above our front door right near the porch light. When I awoke about an hour and a half later, he showed it to me and I took several pictures of it. When I left for work, it was still there. We both thought of Bryan and were so excited to get our second butterfly in as many days. ;-)

Bryan's White Butterfly
Click pic for More Photos

Tonight when I came home from work, the butterfly was still there on the porch. It hadn't moved all day! Well, it moved as it was in a different position, but it was in the same spot on the ceiling by the light. It is now 7:30 p.m. and it is still there! Amazing! I'll keep you posted when it leaves ;-)

Also, for the past several days, a large crow has been hanging around our house. It woke me two mornings in a row with a loud "Caw! Caw! Caw!" just outside my bedroom window. Amberly had a crow land on the highway right in front of her car the other day. She stopped and it walked off the road, so she pulled over and took a picture of it with her cell phone! She felt strongly it was a sign from Bryan.

Update on butterfly: It's 11 p.m. and he is still there ... moved away from the light, but is still right by the door. Wonder if he'll still be there in the morning??

Update on butterfly (Monday morning, May 17): The butterfly is STILL there. He hasn't moved and is in the same position. I'm beginning to worry about him but don't want to disturb him. Do butterflies hibernate??


Sunday, May 16

Amazingly, the butterfly is STILL there this morning, right by the door. I'm now wondering how long it will stay here and how it is eating. Time will tell ....

During the night, I awoke at 4:03 a.m. with the lyrics from Delta Dawn going through my head. One verse over and over again:

Delta Dawn what's that flower you have on?
Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
And did I hear you say he was meetin' you here today
to take you to his castle in the sky ...

Never been a big Helen Reddy fan, but I love what this one verse says. I guess Bryan's letting me know he'll be ready to meet us someday to take us to his castle in the sky. Anyway, I fell back asleep with those words singing in my ears.

Eternal Flame

Tonight has been an amazing night! We went out to dinner and I felt strongly that Bryan was sitting in the fourth chair at the table with Mike, Amberly and I. After we got back home, Mike and I were watching TV when all of a sudden, the lamp post outside began doing some crazy stuff. The light got VERY bright and then turned off completely. Then it came back on with a bright flash and went out again. It was almost like a strobe effect! Mike said that the bulb was probably going bad but I felt it was Bryan. About half an hour later, the light went out completely and stayed out, so I figured Mike was right ... the bulb had finally burned out. A short time later, Mike said to me, "Honey, the light's back on." I looked out and sure enough, it was on and burning strong. It hasn't gone out again since (it was still fine the next morning).

Also, Bryan did some very strange things right at bed time. I was on the computer till almost midnight. I have a desk lamp and a cordless phone on my computer desk. When I turned off the computer, I switched off the lamp as I always do. At the exact instant that the light went off, the phone began making a loud static sound as if the speaker was on and there was static on the line. It was really weird! I immediately tried to turn the desk lamp back on and it would NOT turn on! I flicked the switch several times and it wouldn't light. So I picked up the phone ... it has a "Talk" button rather than a plunger to hang it up. The phone would not respond. I hit the talk button several times and the static continued. I couldn't get it to either come on or hang up and I still couldn't get the lamp to come on. I kept thinking, "wow! this is really strange!" I finally ended up banging on the phone several times to get the static to stop. I went to bed thinking that now I would have to buy a new lamp AND phone. (Follow-up next morning: Both the lamp and the phone worked fine Monday morning. I guess Bryan was really having some fun with us!)


Monday, May 17

This morning, the butterfly was still there but he had moved to the wooden ceiling of the porch and ... surprise! ... he had a friend with him.


Click on pic for Enlarged Image

When I arrived home this evening, the white butterfly was gone but his buddy was still there. By bedtime, he was gone as well. And, by the way, the lamp post and the lamp on my computer desk have been working fine ... neither bulb burned out or is acting strange. I'm not surprised, though ... I knew it was Bryan!


Wednesday, May 19

Well, now I am TOTALLY amazed! The little white butterfly is back this morning right over the front door! I didn't see him at all yesterday, but this morning he is back. When I went out this morning to look for him, it was almost as if I knew he would be there. I do believe he is my Bryan butterfly ;-)

It is a few hours later and I went to check on the white butterfly. He is no longer there but a little brown butterfly is now out there. It's raining outside and I didn't think butterflies flew in the rain, yet the white one is gone and the little brown one is now there.

Thursday, May 20

This morning, Amberly called me on her way to work. She said that a blue Impala was in front of her as she was driving ... blue the color of Bryan's eyes (Bryan used to drive a white Impala). She said it reminded her immediately of Bryan and she thought it was a sign from him but then she thought to herself that she might be "reaching" and that it was just coincidence. Then, the blue Impala turned off the road and the car that was in front of her THEN was a gold Impala! Laughing, she got that feeling that one gets when you know that it's Bryan and she had to call me and let me know that he was with her this morning.

Follow up to Amberly's story this morning ... she called on her way home and said that she had counted 11 Impalas today, two of them were blue. She said that after seeing the fifth one, she decided to start counting. Bryan was certainly letting her know he was around!

Eternal Flame

Yesterday and today I noticed something strange going on that I don't know if it is related to Bryan or not .... if it is, it's something new and not anything I have heard about before that spirits can do, but both times I thought of Bryan because no other explanation exists for it. Yesterday morning, in our guest bathroom, the roll of toilet paper on the roll was completely soaked all the way through. I asked Mike and Amberly if they had somehow gotten it wet and they both knew nothing about it. This is a guest bathroom and not one that is normally used, so no one was in there. There is no possible way for the entire roll to be soaked that I can figure out .... very weird! Then this morning, when I went out on our front porch, I noticed that the throw rug we have out there (it's about 3' x 4') was soaking wet even though the porch is covered and everything around it was dry. It did not rain overnight and even if it did, the rug normally stays dry as it is covered. It would take a heck of a huge storm to wet the entire porch and, as I said, nothing else was wet out there. Chair cushions right beside the rug are dry. I couldn't help but remember the toilet paper roll yesterday morning and wonder if these two incidents are related and if it is something Bryan is doing. I guess I'll just have to watch for more mysteriously wet items ...... strange!

Eternal Flame

As I was driving in to work today, I was having a very sad moment. I was remembering the morning we found Bryan and feeling very, very sad. I began to cry and was talking out loud to Bryan and telling him how much I missed him. Just as I said those words, a hawk swooped down from a tree beside my car and flew right over my window. This put a smile on my face but I still felt profoundly sad and was still missing him so much. Within five minutes, I was sitting at a red light when two more hawks, one from the left and one from the right, approached my car directly in front of me. They came one from each side and met in the middle right in front of my car and flew over it and beyond. As if this wasn't enough, he sent me two more plus a strange looking duck or goose or something before I reached my store. I just know he was feeling my sadness and was trying to send me signs that he was aware of how I was feeling. Even though all his signs have been an amazing help to us, there are moments when missing his physical presence, his sense of humor and his laughter, just overwhelms me and sadness grips me. I know it's part of the grief process that we must go through and I thank God that Bryan is able to respond and send me "props" from heaven to help me get through it.

Eternal Flame

Tonight before I went to bed, I went into Bryan's room to say a prayer for him. There were three cards on the floor ... one from his desk top and two from above his computer. This did put a smile on my face because we haven't had any cards down for quite some time, so I know it was a sign from him letting me know he's nearby ... and at a time when I really needed it!


Friday, May 21

This morning the little white butterfly is back by the front door! I wonder how long he'll stay this time? ;-) (Follow-up: Butterfly was still right there when I got home from work at 6 p.m. but by bed time, he was gone. I'll bet he'll be back!)

Eternal Flame

At work today, I had over 3 dozen auctions ending on Ebay. One of the winners sent me an email and there was a blue butterfly right in the email! I guess it was part of the stationery he used for email, but it was like a big HELLO to me from Bryan. I've never received a blue butterfly in an email before and thought it was pretty neat that Bryan was letting me know he's around.

Eternal Flame

A crazy thing happened tonight while Mike and I were watching TV. We were watching a show taped on our DVR and when I tried to fast forward through the commercial, I couldn't get it to play on normal speed. It was stuck on Fast Forward. I tried hitting the pause button, play button, stop button, but nothing worked, so I figured the batteries needed changed. Before I could do anything, though, the entire set began to go wacky and the cable box started flashing all kinds of weird symbols and finally stopped on "boot" ... at that point, the TV completely turned off! Mike and I looked at each other and both said, "Bryan!" Neither of us had touched the power button or done anything that could have caused all that crazy stuff on the cable box. When we turned the TV back on, it went through a re-set mode before it came on normally again. That's the first time anything like this has happened and since it wasn't the batteries in the remote, we know it could only have been Bryan messing with us!


Saturday, May 22

This morning, the little white butterfly was back and he brought his little brown friend again! Also, either yesterday or the day before, I forgot to mention that Bryan sent me a pretty neat signal. Remember back on the day of his viewing I couldn't find something to take of his and he lead me to the little blue keychain flashlight? Well, I've carried it with me ever since. The other day, as I was walking to my car, I noticed that the blue light beam was shining brightly at me. I just stood there in awe looking at it for several seconds before I turned it off. This little flashlight has a rotating cap that has to be turned several times for the light to come on. It is very tight fitting and can't turn by itself ... nor be jiggled into coming on. It's never happened before, but I have no doubt how it happened this time ... Bryan! (Follow-up on butterfly: When I got home from work, he was on the ceiling by the ceiling fan. At bedtime, he was over the front door.)


Sunday, May 23

The little white butterfly was still there this morning ... this time he was right on the door frame so that every time we open and shut the front door, his little wings flutter, but he doesn't leave! I wonder ... how long do butterflies live? This little fellow has been camping out on ouf front porch since the 15th now ... pretty crazy, huh? I have been taking pics and uploading them to an online album. If you would like to check it out, just click here. Also, almost every day this past week, I have been finding pennies in odd places, so he's been doing the coin thing again. I just keep adding them to the little stash I have going in his room ;-)

Eternal Flame

This morning, I went to check the weather for today. I have WeatherCast on my desktop, so all I have to do is click on the little icon and our local weather and 5-day forecast pops up in a little window. Mike had told me it was going to be 88 degrees today, so I wanted to check to be sure it was going to get that hot. When I clicked on the icon, the high came up as 73 and it was in the 70's all week ... and sunny! I knew THAT had to be wrong as it's NEVER sunny here every day. In fact, it has rained every day for the past week! Then all of a sudden I noticed the city at the top of the screen: HACIENDA HEIGHTS, CALIFORNIA (click to see image)! This is our old neighborhood where we lived in California in the 70's!!! What's strange about that? Only the fact that in order to get that city to come up on my WeatherCast, you would have to click on the tab for Other Cities, type in the city and state and zipcode, select it, and change it. My default is Pittsburgh, Pa., and there is no way another city can come up unless I manually go in and select it, which I did NOT. I know it was a sign from Bryan ... he does love to mess with my computer! I think he's letting me know that he's really excited about our trip to California that we're planning for later this summer ... and I know he'll be with us when we go. (Follow-up to this story Sunday night: When I turned on the computer tonight, the WeatherCast was still coming up Hacienda Heights! Somehow he had actually changed my home location in the program to Hacienda Heights ... since I set it up on Pittsburgh, I didn't even know how to change it back to make Pittsburgh the home location. After much clicking and searching through the program, I finally found how to do it. Which made this whole thing even more weird ... there is no way it could have accidentally changed to HH instead of Pittsburgh ... and I am the only one who uses this computer anyway, and I certainly didn't do it! LOL)

Eternal Flame

Uh oh ... now he's putting a guilt trip on me! I decided not to go to church this morning and instead went into his room to pray the rosary for him. When I finished and came back to the computer, there was an email in my inbox with the subject "church"! Boy, he won't let me get away with anything! I promise, Bryan, I will go down to the church later today to visit your grave and I won't miss church next week. Coincidence?? I don't think so!


Tueday, May 25

I had been quite worried about the little white butterfly since Sunday night ... the reason is that I saw one of the birds from our birdhouse on the back deck had a white butterfly in its beak Sunday evening and fed it to one of her babies. I was in a panic thinking that it must have been MY white butterfly and when it didn't come back Sunday night or Monday morning, I was sure. I asked Bryan why he would give us a butterfly and then let me witness its demise. I clearly heard him tell me that it wasn't the same butterfly and then he showed me a vision of the little white butterfly fluttering around some flowers. He told me, "he's all right, Mom, don't worry." But I was still worried when last night, the butterfly was still MIA. At that point, I figured Bryan was just trying to make me feel better or it was my imagination. Imagine my delight when the butterfly was back this morning and had his little brown friend with him again! I was really thrilled ... to think I can get this emotional over a butterfly is truly funny ... just goes to show you how much my life and perspective has changed since we lost Bryan. The small things in life have become so much more important to me.

Another thing I haven't mentioned yet but feel compelled to this morning is a rabbit that has been showing up in our yard for three mornings in a row now. So what's unusual about that? Nothing except that we have two cats and our next door neighbor has a cat and I haven't seen a rabbit in our yards for many, many years. This rabbit has shown up in the EXACT SAME spot three days in a row now. And when Mike walked out to take a picture of him this morning, he did not run but stayed right there. Showing up just one day, I would not think anything of it. The second day made me think it was Bryan. Today convinced me!

Rabbit

This morning, I received another email from sender unknown. This time it was called "You're Always With Me" ...

Even when we're far apart,
you're still right with me in my heart.

It doesn't matter if you're miles away,
in my thoughts you will stay.

No matter where you go or what you do,
I'll always be thinking nice thoughts of you.

I'm sending you this card so you will know,
you are always with me wherever I go.

Eternal Flame

I received three emails today with the word "rosary" in the subject line. One even sayd "rosary bean" which I thought was really weird! Again, these messages are just junk mail with no relevant content or sender, they just have subjects that are pertinent or have meaning for me. My interpretation is that Bryan sees that I have been saying the rosary for him lately and he is acknowledging it for me. Timing is always critical when these messages arrive ... like the "church" one that came in at the exact same time that we were supposed to BE in church!

Eternal Flame

This evening, I had to take Lori to the hospital as she is suffering with a kidney stone. I was gone all night until about 11 p.m. and when I arrived home, the little white butterfly was right on the front door above our wreath to greet me! He didn't even leave when I opened the door to go inside. I called Mike and Amberly down to see him. I'm just so glad he's back. I have pictures of this on the Butterfly Album online where I am keeping photos of all of these amazing occurrences. (Follow-up ... he was still there Wednesday morning.)


Thursday, May 27

Today was a crazy day! When I got in my car this morning, the door locks clicked down before I even started the car. Then when I turned the ignition on, all the lights on the dash began to flash and the cigarette lighter began clicking and flashing again. I was on my way to the dermatologist to have some minor surgery done and I feel Bryan wanted me to know he was with me. After I was finished with my doctor visit, the same thing happened when I went to leave the doctor's office to go to work. On the way to work, two groundhogs nearly crossed the road directly in front of my car ... in fact, I had to stop and wait for one of them to turn around and go back (they were not together but completely isolated incidents). Then when I got to work, when I got OUT of the car, the horn started honking and wouldn't stop! I had to go back in and re-start the engine to get it to stop!

Eternal Flame

During the day today, Mike and I both found a quarter and a penny and Sherry found a dime.

Eternal Flame

This afternoon, Amberly was sitting outside on our front porch when a little blue butterfly came up to her and began flying all around her. She called me on my cell to tell me about it. She said it almost landed on her and she felt it was a sign from Bryan!

My little white butterfly was not there this morning or when I got home from work. We went to a play tonight to see my nephew, Jacob. When we arrived back home, I was looking for the butterfly when all of a sudden he showed up, fluttering all around our entryway, finally lighting on the glass of the door. I reached over and put my finger in front of him and he climbed up onto my finger! I couldn't believe it! Amberly had her cell phone with her, so I told her to hurry and take some pictures, thinking he would fly off quickly. He didn't! He stayed long enough for her to take several pictures. Then I got Mike to go and get my cell phone to take more pics. After about 10 minutes, I raised him up and gently kissed the butterfly thinking that would scare him off. Well, he didn't move! Only when I lightly stroked his wings did he then lift off and flutter away. I didn't see him again tonight but he was back safe and sound sleeping under the entryway Friday morning. Here are some of the pics we took (first and last pics are clickable to see larger images):

Butterfly Butterfly Butterfly Butterfly

Also, the little rabbit was back again tonight as well.


Friday, May 28

This afternoon, Amberly called me again to tell me that when she went outside, the blue butterfly was back fluttering around our yard. When she stepped off the porch to go to it, it instead flew right to her! Unfortunately, she didn't have her cell phone with her and didn't get a picture of it. Maybe next time ;-) She thinks the white butterfly is for me and the blue one is a special one for her. She could be right since I haven't seen the blue one yet!

Eternal Flame

Tonight I was talking on the phone with Ed when the phone started making intermittent loud beeps unlike anything I have ever heard it do ... this is the same phone that is on my computer desk that did the strange things a few weeks ago. I asked Ed if he could hear the beeps and he said yes and asked what is was. I told him it was probably Bryan. The next thing I knew, the phone went completely dead! We got cut off and I couldn't get the phone to come on again, so I hung it up in the cradle. The battery wasn't dead as the phone had been charging and on the hook all day. It was very weird!


Saturday, May 29

This morning, Bryan awoke me with the Bee Gees song "Emotion" ... I have added it to the Songs page. When I mentioned this to my mother, who loves the Bee Gees, she told me that Bryan had sent her a song yesterday while she was shopping. She said the Bee Gees "Too Much Heaven" came on while she was in a store and she immediately thought of Bryan.

Eternal Flame

The little white butterfly was sleeping over our front door this morning when I went out to check. This marks 2 full weeks that he's been living on our porch. I don't know how anyone else would interpret this, but it's the most unusual thing I've ever seen. Yesterday he was on our porch when I awoke in the morning and he was still in the exact same spot when I got home at 6 p.m. Before I went to bed, I checked and he was gone but this morning he's back. What kind of butterfly sleeps all day and flies around in the dark??? Very, very odd!

Eternal Flame

This afternoon a wonderful thing happened at my store. I very rarely go out of the store to look at items people want to sell to us. Today a woman asked me to look at some things in her car trunk, so I went outside to the parking lot to see what she had. As I waited for her to open her trunk, a woman came up to me asking me where the pizza store was located. Before I could respond to her question, she began oohing and aahing over my butterfly earrings, pin, and necklace. Only then did I notice that she was covered in butterflies! She had on a butterfly necklace and butterfly tattoos on her shoulder, arms, and hand. She then said to me, "Do you know the Spanish word for butterfly? It's mariposa ... that's my name. That's why I love butterflies ... why do you like butterflies?" I then told her how my son passed away in January and he has been sending butterflies to me as a sign. She took both of my hands in hers, looked me straight in the eye, and said, "I think I am your sign for today." I could have died! I told her I thought she was right and introduced myself. After saying a few more words, we parted ways, but I couldn't believe what had just happened! What an AMAZING incident!

Eternal Flame

Tonight, when I returned home from work, the little white butterfly was still above the door. As Mike and I were talking on the porch, I noticed the butterfly had moved onto the pillared column. But when I glanced above the door, the little white one was still there! So now we have TWO white butterflies! Is this unbelievable or what???

Eternal Flame

Another crazy thing happened today. In Bryan's room, his pair of blue slippers are on the floor in front of his bedroom closet. Mike wears these slippers every morning when he goes out to the spa. In the same vicinity as the slippers, there is a cardboard box from one of Bryan's Christmas presents. I have left this in his room, like so many other things, because this is the way it was when he left us. I have memorized where every single thing in that room is ... I look in there first thing every morning and the last thing I do before I go to bed to say a prayer for him. Today I noticed that the slippers were in the same spot but the box was on TOP of one of the slippers. I asked Mike if he had put the slipper under the box and he told me no, he had not. So I took him in and showed him the way the box was on top of the slipper. He was dumbfounded ... there is only one way that box could have moved ... no one goes in that room and no one would have touched the box anyway. I know in my heart that Bryan is acknowledging the fact that he knows his dad is wearing his slippers and that makes him happy. All in all, this has been one amazing day!


Sunday, May 30

This morning Bryan woke me with the song "I Can't Smile Without You" by Barry Manilow. I will get this one added to the songs page later today hopefully. Last night before I went to bed, I checked the porch to see if the butterflies were back. Instead of the two who were here on Friday, there was a brand new teeny tiny little white butterfly exactly like the two bigger ones but this one was just a baby. It was less than 1/4 the size of the other two and so sweet! I could not believe my eyes. Hopefully I will see it again. If it's true that they only live for 20 - 40 days, maybe Bryan is sending a replacement since the first one has been here now for 17 days.


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Note:  If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal.  These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.

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