Bryan’s Journal of Miracles As told by his mom … March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Mike - Bryan’s Father
Kathy - Bryan's Mom (me)
Amberly - Bryan’s Sister
Cris - Bryan’s Brother
"My Mom" - Bryan’s Grandma Mary
"My Dad" - Bryan’s Grandpa Ray
Sherry - Bryan’s aunt (my sister) who is clairvoyant
Darlene - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Debbie - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Lori - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Sherry S. - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Bev - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Barb - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Kelly - Bryan’s cousin (Darlene’s daughter, my niece)
Joe - Bryan’s cousin (Sherry S’s son who passed away a few years ago)
Jacob - Bryan's cousin (Lori's son)
Mike R. - Sherry’s husband (Bryan’s uncle through marriage)
Connie - my sister who died at birth
Bob & Ruth - Bryan’s Grandma and Grandpa (Mike’s parents, deceased)
Grandma & Grandpa LaGambo - Bryan’s Great-Grandma & Great-Grandpa (Kathy’s grandparents, deceased)
Brooke - Bryan’s high school girlfriend and his first true love
Paul Becker - Lori’s friend from childhood who had been an addict all his life and died in his 40’s
Josh D. - Bryan’s childhood friend
Carol - Bryan’s friend from high school
Marge - my friend
Citte - my friend from California who met Bryan last summer
Chad - Bryan’s childhood friend
Ruthie - Our neighbor and long-time friend
Jessica - Bryan's Friend
Ric - Bryan's Friend
Jason (Jay) - Bryan's Friend
Ed - My business partner and long-time friend

Saturday, October 2

Tonight on my way hom from work, I noticed that my gas tank had 11 miles left to empty. Home is 12 miles away and I didn't want to stop at any self-serve stations as I am TERRIBLE at pumping gas ... first, I can never get the gas cap off and, second, if I do, I end up somehow getting gasoline all over my hands or on my shoes. So I absolutely hate getting gas. Now there is a full service station ... and cheaper than self-serve ... one mile from my house. I knew I had just about enough gas to get to the station but I was really worried about it. A few miles into the trip, I noticed that the car directly in front of me was a white Impala -- like Bryan's car -- and the driver was a young man who resembled Bryan so strongly from the back that it could have been him. As I kept watching the gas needle go lower into the red, the Impala remained in front of me. In fact, it was there all the way home and only turned off 1/10 of a mile before the gas station where I rolled in with my last mile remaining on the computer gauge. I really felt as if Bryan was with me and keeping me safe until he knew I would make it to the station ... it was an awesome feeling. I was able to fill up and made it home without incident thanks to him.

Tuesday, October 5

Every week, Mike and I try to put fresh flowers on Bryan's grave ... usually these are from our yard or our planters on our deck. Even though we have two beautiful artificial arrangements there, I always like to have something fresh as well. So this Sunday we took down a vase of pink roses. I was a bit worried about the cold weather causing the roses to wilt and drop petals, thus making a bit of a mess. So I asked Mike to stop there after his walks this week to check on them. When he stopped there today, the roses were still fresh and beautiful, so he left them. But as he was walking back to his car, something made him look down to the left. Imagine his surprise when he found a dollar bill! Bryan is always leaving coins around for us but so far, Cris is the only one to have found paper money. I believe Bryan was letting his dad know that he appreciates him coming to check up on him.

Wednesday, October 6

Tonight Amberly and I were watching The Bachelor when Amber noticed that one of the girls had a huge butterfly on her shirt. Just when she mentioned it to me, she exclaimed again that ANOTHER girl had on a shirt with a four-leaf clover (Bryan's symbol because of his St. Paddy's birthday). I had missed both, so we rewound the TV to see them both. I told her that Bryan was probably right in the room with us watching the show like he used to do. The very next scene had only two girls in the scene ... and guess which two they were? The butterfly and clover ladies! They were sitting side by side now being interviewed. It was pretty neat ... we both felt Bryan was confirming what we already felt ... that he was really there with us.

Thursday, October 7

Tonight I received an email card from no one but with the subject "Please Won't You Hug Me?" The card was an adorable little angel sitting on a cloud and the verse read:

Across the Miles
From across the miles
I'm sending you angel smiles
and butterfly kisses!
Keep them for whenever you need them

Above the angel were two butterflies. One of the things I miss most about Bryan was the way he would always come up from behind and hug me. He was a very affectionate person and loved to give hugs. This card really felt like it was sent to me from him.

Sunday, October 10

Tonight I was working on the computer and Amberly was in the room with me. All of a sudden, the sound of a telephone ringing began but it WASN'T coming from the phone ... it was a telephone ringing in my computer! She started laughing and told me to answer the phone, but there IS no phone in the computer, so I couldn't answer anything. After three or four rings, it stopped only to start up again a few seconds later. But when it started the second time, the REAL phone began ringing at the same time! The whole thing was very bizarre ... I honestly felt Bryan did it, especially since I was watching a taped Montel with Sylvia Brown where a woman was asking what signs her son has given her and Sylvia told her, "He rings the phone ..." Bryan has rung phones several times in the past, but he's never rung my computer! At least never before tonight ...

Tuesday, October 12

This afternoon I went shopping for a new car. My lease was up in a few months and the dealership had called me to talk about an early buy-out, so I went in to discuss my options. I had mixed emotions about trading in my present car as I have memories of Bryan in that car, but I realized that I have memories of Bryan all over my world, so that's not that big of an issue. So I went in to listen and see what was offered. After weighing all my options, I decided to get a new car and even though I know it is the smartest thing, I left there feeling a little sad ... kind of like having to part with an old friend. I had no sooner driven out of the parking lot when a hawk appeared directly over the highway just over my car! I exclaimed to Mike that that was the first hawk I had seen in the air for several weeks ... this in itself was odd because I used to see 3 - 6 every single day! Even more amazing, right on its heels came another hawk! Both right over my car! I just laughed knowing that Bryan was letting me know he approved of my decision and to "let go" of the old car. This made me feel so much better. To top it off, before we got too much further, a third hawk appeared, again right over the highway. I couldn't have been more delighted! It makes me feel good knowing I have his blessing.

Thursday, October 14

Today was the day I was picking up my new vehicle, so I had cleaned out my old car to get it ready to return. Everything was vacuumed and neat as a pin. I was very careful taking Sandy to work with me to make sure we didn't get anything dirty. When we got to my store, I went to let Sandy out of the car but first picked up my purse and bag off the floor in front of her seat. You cannot imagine my amazement when there was a feather lying on the carpet UNDER my purse! There is absolutely no possible way a feather could have gotten into my car. I had just cleaned every square inch and there were no feathers inside. Nor could one have blown in when I opened the door for Sandy because the feather was under my purse on the floor. I interpreted it as another sign from Bryan letting me know he supports my trading it in and getting the new car. I'm so glad that he finds these ways to share in our lives still ... but it doesn't stop me from missing him so and wishing that he were still here with us. I'd give anything to see his face and his smile just one more time ....

Friday, October 15

Today Amberly called me and told me she had awakened with the song "Pictures of You" by the Cure going through her head. She never gets songs from Bryan like this and so she immediately thought it was from him. A little while later, she walked into her room and that exact same song was playing on the TV. She knew then that Bryan was confirming that the message was from him. It was a rainy day and the words seemed so appropriate to her that she was amazed. I have added it to Bryan's Songs page.

Monday, October 18

Today I received an amazing email from a friend of Bryan's ... this friend lives some distance away and had never been to visit Bryan's resting place until Saturday. He sent me the following story which gave me goosebumps as I read it:

"Saturday I finally made it out to visit Bryan.  From the moment I walked up I felt the warmth of his presence.  Saturday morning was rather cold and rainy and I wasn't cold at all while I was there.  While I was there my cell phone started vibrating.  I pulled it out of my pocket and checked it but I didn't have a call or a message and it wasn't in vribrate mode.  I slid it back into my pocket and a couple minutes later it did it again and when I checked it same result.  It continued to do that for the rest of the time I was there. Kinda like Bryan tellin' me he was hearing everything I was saying.  When I got ready to leave and started to walk out I looked up and on the roof of the breezeway was a hawk.  I mentioned it to my friend and he said he had been there for just about the entire time we were which was about 45 minutes."

Needless to say, I am totally awed by what transpired but, at the same time, not at all surprised. Bryan has proven over and over again how he CAN reach out to us here and he does acknowledge our prayers and thoughts. The hawk on the breezeway is even more significant as, although we always see the hawks on the steeple above Bryan, I have never seen them down on the breezeway. This tells me that it was definitely Bryan getting his friend's attention by having the hawk down where he could be seen easier. And -- while I am typing this -- the telephone next to me has just rung one time with no one there and no number on the caller ID! Again, Bryan's way of confirming what I'm saying. Wow!

Thursday, October 21

Tonight I noticed the strangest thing on my computer. When I start up my computer, my Microsoft Calendar starts up automatically. When it came on tonight, the cursor was over Oct. 30, which is my birthday. What was really weird was that it said "Mom's Birthday" on that date. Now, that was NOT there before ... my Mom's birthday is January 16, and I would never bookmark my own birthday much less label it "MOM's birthday." At that moment, I felt Bryan's presence and got goosebumps all over ... somehow he was able to let me know he knows my birthday is coming by putting it on my calendar. When I told Amberly about it, she couldn't believe it. No one else ever uses this computer but me ... Mike and Amberly have their own computer as mine is for business, so there's no possible explanation other than Bryan. He is just awesome!

When I went to clean the kitty litter this morning, I noticed two pennies lying on the desk right next to it. This desk is in our livingroom and no one uses it ... it is just for show. The two pennies were lying on the edge of the blotter and had not been there before, nor does anyone ever lay a purse or wallet there. I knew immediately they were from Bryan!

Later this evening, Amberly came home late from her first day on her new job. She walked into a storage area there and found a strand of four leaf clovers (Bryan's symbol) and took them to put on her desk. As she was telling Mike and I how she felt Bryan's presence with her all day and how much she loves her new career, the lamp post outside began to flicker. Again, just Bryan's way of confirming that he was with her today and the clovers were from him.

Friday, October 22

Tonight I was talking with Darlene ... she closed on her new house yesterday and she went over there today to begin working on it since it needs a lot of renovation before she can move in. My dad was with her and they were sitting in the car outside the house when a huge hawk landed on the telephone pole right next to their car. She said it was looking right at them and my dad exclaimed, "There's Bryan!" It really makes me feel good to know that others acknowledge him ... her new house is in a very developed area with no woods around at all, so a hawk would be unusual to see there. Also, earlier in the day, Lori had been working inside and heard a loud noise. When she looked out, two deer were in front of her car. They had apparently jumped over the hedge from Darlene's yard and landed on the hood of her van, stunning them both momentarily. Unfortunately, they did dent her vehicle but she laughingly wondered if they were a sign from Bryan as you normally don't see deer in that neighborhood and especially in the early afternoon. If it made her think of him, then I would say yes!

Sunday, October 24

Today was an important day for us. Reverend Norris was back at Westminster Church today (he moved to Florida back in May) to dedicate the Columbarium and Labyrinth where Bryan's is buried. As Amberly was getting ready to leave for church, the light fixture in the powder room where she was began to flicker ... one lightbulb in particular ... and she looked up in time to see it go off. She said something to Bryan about it and figured that the bulb must have just burned out when all of a sudden, it came back on brighter than the other bulbs! And it stayed lit. She felt his presence and knew he was there with her ...

Later this evening, Amberly was in our kitchen getting a glass of water from the refrigerator dispenser when she heard a coin fall nearby. She looked and a dime had landed on the floor about four feet away from where she was standing. No one else was in the kitchen and the cats were sleeping on the table, so it could not have dropped from anywhere or fallen from anything ... in fact, the nearest object was three feet from where the coin was lying. Mike was in the other room watching TV and I was upstairs on the computer when this occurred, so no one else was anywhere near that room. It was awesome!

Tuesday, October 26

This morning, I turned on my computer and wanted to see what the weather was going to be like. I have a little program that runs on my task bar that always shows me the current temperature and when I click on it, I get the 5-day forecast on a little pop-up screen. Today when I clicked on it for the 5-day forecast, the screen came up with SATURDAY as the first of the 5 days. At first I was confused as to why it would put Saturday as the first of the 5 days when Saturday is four days away already. Then I realized Saturday is MY birthday and I think Bryan did this to point out to me that he is aware that it is coming up. When I closed and re-opened the window. the current day's forecast began the 5-day range. Pretty crazy but totally a Bryan thing to do!

Friday, October 29

Tonight Amberly told me that Bryan has had an old Billy Joel song going through her head, "Only the Good Die Young," and she asked me if I could get a copy of it for her. Ironically, earlier this week, I had -- for some odd reason that I can't explain -- been looking for my Billy Joel CD that I used to have. I wanted to put it in my new car, so I went to my bag of junk that I took out of my old car and found it. I put it in the CD player two days ago. Amazingly, this song just happened to be on the CD that I had put in, so I was able to play the song for her, Looking back, I guess this was why I was looking for the CD ... Bryan must have known I would be needing it!

Saturday, October 30

Today was my birthday and even though I had already received presents from Bryan over the past several weeks, I still wondered what signs I would get from him today. I actually started the day with a prayer in his room, which I do every morning, and I was thinking to myself about what he might do today to get my attention. As I was in his room, I began to hear a knocking or tapping sound coming from overhead. I went out into the hallway and our cat, Moses, was sitting on the floor looking up at the ceiling in the direction of the noise in the attic. The tapping continued and the cat jumped up on the stand under the ceiling fan and was stretching his neck to see up into the attic, so I know that he heard the noise too. After a few minutes, it stopped. I ran downstairs and told Mike that I think Bryan was rapping out a happy birthday to me.

The second thing that happened was just a few hours later. Mike and I were getting some things from Cris' room to send to him at college. We had been in and out of his room several times and as I was walking down the hall toward his room one time, I saw a feather lying just inside the door on his carpet ... it was a HUGE feather over a foot long! I knew it could not have been there before as we would have stepped on it where it was lying. I called Mike and pointed it out to him and he couldn't believe it either. There is no way that feather could have gotten there!

In the mid-afternoon, Amberly called me to wish me a happy birthday. She had just finished singing it to me when she noticed the clock and said, "Oh my God! I just looked at the time and it is exactly 3:17!" (Bryan's birthday) We both felt that Bryan had had her call me at exactly his birthday time so that he could be part of the birthday wishes. What makes this even more amazing is that later on, she happened to check the caller id and there was a call from Cris at exactly 3:17! She didn't hear it on the call waiting as she was dialing me at the exact same moment. When we listened to the message Cris left, it was him wishing me a happy birthday. So Bryan managed to get all three of them to wish me a happy birthday together. Isn't that just amazing???!!

As I was leaving my store, I noticed on the outside of our secondary interior door, the word "MoJo" was written in pencil on the door. I have never seen that there before and couldn't imagine how it got there. Since Bryan was the "man with the mojo" according to his friends and he had named one of his cats Mojo, it really jumped out at me. When I pointed it out to my partner, he said he had never seen it there before either. This door leads to the outside but is not actually outside ... we have a double set of doors with a storage area in between. This was on the outside of the interior set of doors. How it got there we have no idea. And why I never noticed it before ... considering I come in that way every single day and it was RIGHT in front of my face ... is inexplicable. My heart tells me that Bryan "put" it there for me to notice today to let me know he was nearby.

Later on at dinner, we were seated at a patio restaurant and a hawk appeared briefly while Mike and I were dining. And tonight when I mentioned the feather to Cris that we found in his room, he said there was absolutely no feathers in his room and he had no idea where it would have come from! All in all, I'd have to say it was a pretty incredible birthday.

Well, Bryan wasn't finished yet. After dinner, Mike and I had to go to the funeral home to visit Marge's mom who had just passed away. We picked up Ruthie to go with us as she lives right on our street. The three of us arrived about 8 p.m. and talked with Marge for about 15 minutes before I went up to her mom to pay my respects. As I "spoke" to her in my mind, I asked her to say hi to Bryan for me. I also asked her to get Bryan to show her how to give signs to Marge like he does for us. About 10 minutes later, my cell phone rang and it was Amberly. She had been at home and around 8:15, the power went out not only in our house but on our entire street. She had to go to the gas station to call me and told me that the power was on everywhere but OUR street! She was afraid to go back home, so we told her we would be home asap. We ended up staying until a bit before 9 and then headed home. We were surprised to see that the power was back on as we drove down the street. Ruthie's husband confirmed that the power was out while we were away ... amazingly, just during the time that we were at the funeral home and it went out RIGHT when I was asking Bryan to show Marge's mom how to do signs for her!!! The next morning, I was telling Marge about this over the phone and just as I finished, THREE hawks came sailing right over my car! As always, I interpret the timing of the hawks with what I am saying as Bryan's way of validating what occurred. He has done this many, many times and I just know that is what he is showing me. Both Marge and I had goosebumps and the hair on our necks stood up as we realized the significance of this message!

Follow-up to this event: Several days later, I mentioned to Amberly that Ruthie's husband had been looking outside and that the lights across the street were still off after their's came on. Her eyes got as big as saucers and she said, "Oh my God! When our lights came on, I went outside with the flashlight still in my hand, and the houses across the street were all dark. I just figured our side came on first! But Ruthie lives on the OTHER side of the street!" We then realized that Ruthie's house and our house were the only houses that came on before all the rest ... and they were not on the same side of the street, so one side couldn't have been turned on before the other. There really is no logical explanation for this odd event. Verrrrrrrrrrry interesting!

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Note:  If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal.  These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.

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