Bryan's Journal of Miracles

Bryan’s Journal of Miracles
As told by his mom …

March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Mike - Bryan’s Father
Kathy - Bryan's Mom (me)
Amberly - Bryan’s Sister
Cris - Bryan’s Brother
"My Mom" - Bryan’s Grandma Mary
"My Dad" - Bryan’s Grandpa Ray
Sherry - Bryan’s aunt (my sister) who is clairvoyant
Darlene - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Debbie - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Lori - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Sherry S. - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Bev - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Barb - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Kelly - Bryan’s cousin (Darlene’s daughter, my niece)
Joe - Bryan’s cousin (Sherry S’s son who passed away a few years ago)
Jacob - Bryan's cousin (Lori's son)
Mike R. - Sherry’s husband (Bryan’s uncle through marriage)
Connie - my sister who died at birth
Bob & Ruth - Bryan’s Grandma and Grandpa (Mike’s parents, deceased)
Grandma & Grandpa LaGambo - Bryan’s Great-Grandma & Great-Grandpa (Kathy’s grandparents, deceased)
Brooke - Bryan’s high school girlfriend and his first true love
Paul Becker - Lori’s friend from childhood who had been an addict all his life and died in his 40’s
Josh D. - Bryan’s childhood friend
Carol - Bryan’s friend from high school
Marge - my friend
Citte - my friend from California who met Bryan last summer
Chad - Bryan’s childhood friend
Ruthie - Our neighbor and long-time friend
Jessica - Bryan's Friend
Ric - Bryan's Friend
Jason (Jay) - Bryan's Friend
Ed - My business partner and long-time friend

This morning when we went to church, we noticed that Sherry & Mike had put new balloons on Bryan's gravesite. From inside the church, you can look out the window and see Bryan's niche right below. The balloons they left were right at the height of the windows and we wanted to sit where we could see them. Unfortunately, those pews were full, so we had to sit where our view of the balloons was blocked by the wall. However, during the service, the wind kept blowing the two top BLUE balloons over to the window where we could see them. It was so strange because it looked like Bryan's big blue eyes were peeking in on us every few minutes or so. It was an awesome feeling to see those two blue balloons come looking in and then go back ... just like he was checking to be sure we were still there!

After church, I called Sherry to thank her for such a thoughtful gesture and told her how the balloons kept "looking" in the window at us every time the wind would blow them. Just as I was relaying that to her, Mike said, "There's the hawk!" Right above our car, a hawk soared over us and to a tree directly across from where we were stopped at a stop sign. We had been looking for a hawk all morning because Bryan showed us the hawk last Sunday and something was telling us we would see it again today. The hawk was huge and it stayed in the tree until we drove out of sight. This is so amazing because we have lived here for 25 years and only seen hawks high above in the sky soaring on the wind currents ... never on the ground or in trees. All the hawks we have seen in the past week have been either on the ground, in a tree, or just right above the car and very close to the ground.

Tonight, Darlene told us that several times in the past week when she has gotten in her car, the song "Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan has come on the radio. She said that the words remind her so much of Bryan and the fact that it's been on almost every time she is in the car makes her feel that Bryan is reaching out to her with it. Also, the blue butterfly magnet that fell off her refrigerator earlier this month has been doing that repeatedly. She even moved it to a different spot of the fridge and she still finds it on the floor in the morning!

Jacob relayed an interesting story to us tonight. Earlier this week, he was listening to "Lion Sleeps Tonight" on his cd player when the song began to sound like static and then stopped playing altogether. At the same instant, the light in his room went out with a snap and actually made a sound. It frightened him to the point that he ran to his mother and told her he thought it was Bryan. When they went back to his room, the light was on and the cd began to play the song over again from the beginning.

Chad told us tonight that on the way from the funeral home, when he got in his car he reached for the radio tuner knob to change the station when a feeling came over him and something told him NOT to change the station but to listen to the next song. He had the strange feeling that Bryan was telling him to listen ... the next song was "Angel" by Aerosmith! Chad knew it was Bryan's message for him.

Today in the store, I noticed a little book like a check register on the floor in our coffee room. It was strange that this was on the floor because I didn't recognize it as belonging to anyone here. I stooped to pick it up and the cover said "The Lord is my light and my salvation." This gave me goose bumps ... but when I opened it, there was a pen inside that was covered with butterflies! When I looked through the book, it turned out that it belonged to Marge's daughter, Valerie, who was in our store on Friday. The weird thing is that since Friday, I have been in that coffee room dozens of times each day and this was NOT on the floor. Today it was right in the middle all by itself! When I gave it back to Valerie a week later, she'd had no idea that it had fallen out of her bookbag here.

For some reason, Bryan loves to wake me up with a song in my head. Today I was singing "You Are My Shining Star ... Don't You Go Away". I think he puts these songs in my dreams and I'm singing his little message to me when I awake. This happens almost every day!

On Sunday night, Sherry had told me that she had a feeling that Bryan was telling her that there was "something" in the house that if I hugged it, he would be able to feel it. Bryan always loved giving and getting hugs .... he was a very sensitive person. I have "hugged" his spirit and pretended he was there, but she said that wasn't it. She felt there was some object in the house that he would actually be able to receive feeling through, but she couldn't get a fix on what it was. Something in my mind was telling me Sandy, our yellow lab, but I didn't mention it.

To digress a bit, Bryan used to call Sandy into his room at night to play with her. He would have to lift her onto his bed as she has really bad arthritis. For three days after he passed, she would not touch a speck of food. He loved that dog and she loved him, but when I went to bed, she always came to my room even though he tried to get her to sleep with him.. If you know anything about Labs, this is simply unheard of. They LIVE to eat! Anyway, she has gone into his room several nights since he has been gone and I have found her UP on his bed, happy as a clam. She will NOT leave to come to bed with me ... she stays there until around 3 a.m. and then comes to my room. I have no idea how she is getting up on the bed, but I strongly suspect Bryan is there helping her and playing with her till he leaves at 3 a.m.

Anyway, today Sherry called me and told me that Bryan is telling her the object that he will be able to feel my hugs through is SANDY!!! That was what I had thought on Sunday but I never said it. And last night, when Sandy was on Bryan's bed, I had gone in there and climbed up with her and gave her a HUGE hug. So I guess I must have known without being told that Bryan was there ... and I'm not one bit surprised!

When I awoke today, "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Jefferson Starship was going through my head. The message was not for me but for Bryan's good friend, Jason.

This world that I've found is too good to be true
Standin' here beside ya, want so much to give you
This love in my heart that I'm feelin' for you

Whatever it takes, I will stay here with you
Take you to the good times, see you through the bad times
Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now

Sherry says that Bryan is telling her that Jay will be his "voice" here on earth in fighting the battle against drugs. Bryan is working in heaven and his mission there is to help stop drug addiction and help addicts who have crossed over ... Jason's mission will be to carry on that mission here on earth. This is the message that Sherry is receiving from him.

In our church, there is a guest book in each pew that you sign in on every Sunday. When I went to sign in today, the entry on the very first line was "Chris & Bryan" ... it was from the earlier service this morning, not ours, but the coincidence was too ironic. I couldn't wait to tell Cris that Bryan had given him a sign from church today.

I awoke this morning with the words from Frank Sinatra's song "All the Way" going through my head. Bryan loves to wake me with a song!

Taller than the tallest tree is
That's how it's got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue see is
That's how deep it goes - if its real

Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you
All the way, All the way

I have felt that Bryan has been "away" for a while now ... in fact, my sister has gotten messages from him that he is working on a crusade against heroin -- specifically the poppy fields -- from heaven. Strangely, I have felt that he has not been as close. Last night, he was back in his room as Sandy was on his bed again and spent the night there. Then today, things started happening again .............

First thing: As I was driving to work, the sun touched my cheek and I had an overwhelming feeling that Bryan was with me. Warmth rushed through me and I "felt" him hugging me. Tears came to my eyes and I told him I was glad he was back. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Sherry to tell her he was back but that I hadn't gotten a physical sign, just a feeling. Just as the phone was ringing, my eyes were drawn to a sign on a business that said "We asked for a SIGN and this is what we got." As she answered the phone, I was laughing and told her that I was just about to tell her that I hadn't gotten a sign but rather a feeling that he was with me when the signboard popped into my view. She immediately asked me when he had come back. I told her last night with Sandy. She said that he had come to her earlier in the evening ... she had been missing him all day and asking him to show her a sign again since he had been away for so long. She was listening to Clay's CD when a song came on and a feeling of joy washed over her that she had only felt a few other times in her life. She immediately became happy and KNEW it was Bryan! He stayed with her during the entire song --"When You Say You Love Me" -- and left when it was over. She had the feeling that he was leaving to come to me. At that time, I was watching American Idol and felt that Bryan was there in the room making fun of the show like he always did. Then when I found Sandy on his bed in his room, I felt he was back but thought maybe I was just "reaching" because I was missing him so much. Now I know I wasn't!

Second thing: As I was driving and still on the phone with Sherry, I drove past a mailbox covered with blue butterflies. Mind you, I pass this mailbox EVERY DAY on my way to work and NEVER noticed the blue butterflies. Today they literally jumped out at me!

Third thing: Here at work, I turned on all the lights as I always do. One lamp that I had just plugged in the other day did not come on. I went over and flipped the switch but nothing happened. I kept turning the knob and suddenly it started to flicker and came on strong. For a second I thought the bulb was going bad and would burn out if I turned the knob again. Well, when I did, it would NOT go off! I turned it about 10 times and I cannot get the lamp to turn off. I finally gave up ... it's still on and it's been 2 hours! :-)

Fourth thing: I called Mike to tell him Bryan was back with us and to keep an eye open for more signs. He then told me he had seen the hawk this morning when he was outside, so he already knew. I am filled with joy today knowing that my Bryan is with us. I realize that he is busy in heaven doing the Lord's work, so I appreciate these validations. It's really strange, but you can actually feel when he is around and when he is away. Just like Bryan told Sherry back on the 13th, "I might not be here every minute, but just like before … sometimes I wasn’t home. I’d go out for a while and come back. I’ll still come and go the same as before. But I’m always coming home." Now I know that he will.

Fifth thing: Still in the store, out of the clear blue, a fuse blew and the entire area where I was working went dark. This has NEVER happened before unless we plugged in an old toaster or radio with bad wiring that would cause a short (we occasionally have to do this for a customer or just to test we bought something in the store -- I sell antiques) ... this was not the case today. Nothing was being tested or used ... I was just sitting at the computer working on THIS website when it blew. A customer nearby made the comment that it was like the Twilight Zone ... if she only knew! :-)

Tonight when I picked Amberly up from the trolley, we were talking about how we both felt Bryan was with us today. She told me she knew the exact time he had come back to us last night because as she was walking from the trolley, a couple almost collided with her who were going the opposite direction. She was looking down while she was walking and did not see them. As she stepped around them, she heard a voice say "Hi Amber!" Turning, she looked at the couple who were walking away. They did not look back and she did not recognize either of them. She mentioned to Mike (who picked her up) about what a strange thing that was. She also said she felt it was Bryan saying hi to her. The time was shortly after 7 p.m. Sherry told me this morning that last night Bryan came to her shortly after 7 p.m.

Things continued to happen tonight. To start, Mike went to pick Jason up from his sister's house to come over for dinner. When they arrived, Ric also arrived at the same exact moment. Mike told me that in Jason's sister's livingroom, there were two huge pictures of butterflies. I went and asked Jason about them and he said he hadn't even noticed them. At that point, Ric jumped in and said he had noticed them AND had taken pictures of them with his cell phone! He proceeded to open the phone and pull up the pictures to show me ... they were BEAUTIFUL and BOTH butterflies were BLUE! The irony is not only that the pictures were there but that Mike mentioned it to me and at the same moment, Ric actually had pictures of them in his phone. He had taken them a few days ago to show us because they reminded him of Bryan. The chance of Mike mentioning this to me at the exact moment that Ric had the pictures with him is too strange to be coincidence.

A bit later, Amberly and I were out on the porch talking about Bryan. She noticed the lamp post and told me to watch it. The light was not flashing off and on but rather dimming and then glowing brighter. This has NEVER happened before! We both began to laugh and were talking to Bryan ... I jokingly said he should learn Morse code so he could dim and brighten the bulb in code. It seemed that the light would dim and then get stronger in response to what we were saying. Sometimes it was faster and sometimes slower but very obvious and consistent. We were both absolutely blown away by this. We finally told him we were going back inside because we were cold. The light then glowed steady. We both went inside ... I can see the lamp post from the family room where we watched TV all evening. It never dimmed or got brighter again all night ... just burned steady. He was very much back home this evening!

Later tonight, after everyone had left, I went up to get my email. There were two emails, one on top of the other, in my folder that caught my attention immediately. The messages were both junk mail but what got my attention was the subject lines and the send on the second. This is what they looked like:

Amberly immediately realized that Bryan was acknowledging the fact that his friends -- Jay and Ric -- had spent the last two Thursday nights with us (watching Friends and The Apprentice!) and that Ric had kindly gotten me the download for the song "Fallen" that I was having trouble getting. And the butterfly breakout email was an acknowledgment that he was aware of the butterfly pictures in Jason's sister's house and that he was glad that Ric had shown me the pictures of them ... Mike and Ric had definitely interpreted the message correctly ... they WERE a sign from Bryan!

This morning, when I went into Bryan's bedroom, there was a tri-fold picture that was taken in Disneyland in 2002 was tilted over. There was a small card in front of and beside the larger picture and these were in position and untouched. There is no way the big tri-fold picture could tip over by itself ... I truly felt this was a sign that Bryan had been back in his room. Nothing has moved in there for over a week and now this. It has been a way he has let us know in the past that he has visited his room and I know he did this for me.

My mom called this morning and told me she wanted to come over ... she had a gift for me. When she got there, she gave me a pair of beautiful blue butterfly earrings! I asked her when she bought them and she said yesterday. I wasn't one bit surprised. Bryan always got me something for Valentine's Day and I know that this was his way of sending me something ... and I LOVE the earrings and him! When I mentioned this to my mother, she said that is exactly what she thought ... she said Bryan had been "telling" her to "get my mom butterflies." She knew when she saw these that he wanted her to get them for me from him for Valentine's Day. (Another interesting note to this story ... when purchasing them, she mentioned to the sales woman that blue butterflies had come to have a special meaning to me since my son passed away. The woman asked her how old and then his name. It turns out that her son and Cris are very good friends and her son had actually come to town from college to attend Bryan's viewing! Small world? Coincidence? I don't think so.) Bryan had always brought me something for Valentine's Day, even if it was only a wildflower picked in a field. I used to tease him about it and tell him that he wasn't supposed to get me a Valentine's gift but rather his lady love. He always told me that I was his first love and he would always get me a gift. I wondered how he would manage to get me a gift this year but he figured out a way ... and not just this gift, but three more that I will receive on Saturday ... read further to see ....

Amberly had an amazing experience on the trolley on her way home. She was reading John Edward's book "After Life" and the man beside her was asking her about it. She told him that she had recently lost her brother and was reading about signs that those who have crossed over can give to those of us left behind. A few minutes later, a woman got on the trolley and was standing right across the aisle from her. The woman was carrying a blue purse with two butterflies on it, one solid blue and one outlined in blue sequins. She asked the woman if she could take a picture of it with her cell phone camera and explained why. Several people overheard her explanation and some, she was sure, thought she was crazy. Well, they were blown away when a few stops later, the woman with the purse got off and a young girl got on who stood in the exact same spot. When she turned around, she had on a black backpack with a huge butterfly on the back! Of course, Amberly had to take a picture of it and explained to that girl about the butterfly significance and told her she had made her weekend. I don't think there were any more doubters on that trolley! The man next to Amberly was totally astounded! Bryan always finds a way to validate his messages to us.

Today, when I got in to work, my partner, Ed, had a special Valentine's gift for me. Last year, when Bryan was in my store, he had done two pencil drawings. One was a modernistic drawing of a girl with a boy on either side ... reminded me symbolically of the Christmas picture with Amberly between Bryan and Cris. The other was a pencil sketch of a Pirates baseball nodder (bobble head) doll that we had in the store that Bryan did a freehand sketch of ... and it was pretty darn good! Ed had -- for some reason -- kept them all this time and decided to frame them and give them to me today. Ed taught art and had thought the pictures were good, so he kept them. He never told me he had them and oddly enough, decided to give them to me today. Another gift from Bryan from heaven ... I will treasure these forever!

While Mike was in the spa this morning, two hawks flew over. He told me he wondered who the second hawk was ..... I told him I felt it was Joe, Bryan's cousin. Later today at the store, I had my TV on CNN and several times saw a segment they were running about eagles and showing them soaring and close-up ... reminded me completely of the hawks that Bryan has been showing us. I saw it over and over again today and felt Bryan was telling me HI each time it came on.

Sherry told me that this morning, she bent to pick something up off her bedroom floor and her eyes were drawn to a fireplace screen she has with painted flowers on it ... and right to a blue butterfly! She didn't even know the screen had butterflies on it. Then she was drawn to the side panel where another bue butterfly was painted. She felt Bryan was telling her HI and Happy Valentine's Day. Later she went back to check if there was a butterfly on the other side panel ... there was, but it was orange. She was sure Bryan had intentionally drawn her attention to the two blue ones so she would connect it to him.

Also, today Amberly kept seeing blue butterflies on TV. On several different channels, a blue butterfly showed up in the picture, either live or as a picture on a wall. Bryan is making sure we all know he is with us on this holiday. He loved Valentine's Day in life and I guess he still does in heaven!

Well, Bryan wasn't finished yet. When I got home from work today, there were three butterfly pins that I had ordered from Ebay on Wednesday. I ordered these from three different people and normally, with anything purchased on Ebay, it is at least a week before they arrive. These ALL arrived in the mail today ...3 days after I ordered them. I believe Bryan made sure they arrived in time for me to have them on Valentine's Day. Also, we received a wonderful letter from Bryan's friend, Sarah, describing a dream she had which we believe was a visit from Bryan. In the letter he talks about his plans that we know now he is working on from heaven. Click here to read the letter. A few hours later, I got a call from Sherry telling me she had to come over to bring me a gift "from Bryan". When she had arrived home tonight, she heard Bryan telling her to go to her mailbox, that there was something in there for ME. She told her hubby, Mike, that the butterfly ring she had ordered for me from Ebay was in the mailbox. Mike said she didn't say the package might be there but that she KNEW it was there because Bryan was telling her it was. Then Bryan also told her that she had to take it to me tonight. She told him that she would be here for dinner tomorrow and would bring it then and he said, "NO! It has to be tonight ... this is Valentine's Day and I want her to have it today!" She went to the mailbox -- sure enough, the package was there -- and brought it to me right away. The ring is absolutely beautiful -- and it matches the blue butterfly earrings that he had my mom bring me perfectly! I cannot believe that he managed to get me so many gifts -- and all from heaven! What an incredible day I have had! He is SOOOOOO amazing that I can't even believe it! Thank you, Bryan, from the bottom of my heart. I love you sweetie! XOXOXOXOXOX

Tonight, Darlene, Kelly & Megan were here for dinner. We shared stories about Bryan ... all the signs we had been getting and showed them the drawings Bryan had made and two postcards that he had sent to me on Thanksgiving. When they left, Darlene & Megan were feeling sad and wishing they had gotten some signs recently. They had to stop at the grocery store for several items, three of them being kleenex, paper towels, and a kitchen sponge. Darlene first put the kleenex in the buggy ... the type she usually buys has butterflies on the box and these were right in the front of the display when she got there. She thought for a second that maybe that was a sign from Bryan but then discounted it because she always bought that brand and figured it was just coincidence that they were in the front. Not thinking any more about it, she put her paper towels in and went to get the sponges. The brand she normally buys has a floral print on it. Tonight, that brand had a new design: BUTTERFLIES! She was so surprised and she and Megan both shared that look and said "Bryan!" Smiling, she put the sponges in the cart only to then see that the paper towels -- the same brand she normally buys -- also had a new design she hadn't seen before: BLUE BUTTERFLIES! She couldn't wait to call me and tell me that she didn't give his first sign credit, so he immediately hit her with two more. She was very happy!

On Kelly's way home, she also was thinking about Bryan and feeling sad. Suddenly a song came on the radio that she felt Bryan wanted her to listen to ... it was a new song by Evanescence about loss. She felt that he was reaching out to her with that song and she knew Bryan was saying Hi.

Today on my way to work, I was talking to Sherry on the phone. As I was driving down the highway toward work, two hawks flew over the roadway in the direction I was going. It was in an area where I have never seen hawks, so I commented about it to Sherry. Then the birds both turned right and it totally astounded me ... I was making a right turn off the highway to take a shortcut I take every day. The hawks went the same way and I turned to follow them in the same direction.

When Amberly was at work, she was going into her building when she saw a woman outside with a camera. The woman was propping a little stuffed leprechaun toy on a statue on the courthouse steps and photographing it. Naturally, since Bryan's birthday is St. Patrick's Day, we always associate leprechauns and shamrocks with him. Amberly immediately thought of Bryan and even said something out loud to him. This was all very strange since St. Paddy's day is over a month away. What could the woman have been doing? Unfortunately, Amberly didn't ask but took the sign for what it was ... another "Hi" from Bryan.

Tonight we had a group reading with psychic medium Kathleen Tucci. We suspected that with Bryan's strong spirit, he would come through loud and clear. He did not disappoint! He came through with many validations and let us know he is still a part of our lives in so many ways. Even Ms. Tucci was amazed by some of the facts he came out with ... you can click here to read it! Ms. Tucci's website is located at http://www.intuitivepsychic.com/main.html.

This morning, I woke with a strong sense of hearing Bryan tell me to get the movie Reservoir Dogs. We belong to Netflix and he was telling me we have to order that movie. I had no idea why ... if there is a message in it for us or some sign or whatever. So I ordered it today and will anxiously await seeing it. Amberly told me later today that it was one of his favorite movies and he had seen it several times. So maybe this is nothing more than a tip or wanting to watch it with us or we'll have to wait and see ......... (Follow-up March 4, 2004: Tonight we had Josh over for dinner and in talking about the various signs we had gotten from Bryan, I mentioned to him that Bryan had wanted us to see this movie but I couldn't figure out what the message was. Josh then told me that his nickname, Eddie, came from this movie from "Nice Guy Eddie." I figured that the message was probably just that Bryan had wanted us to have Josh over so he could tell us about all of the signs he had been getting. But since I didn't connect the message to Josh, Bryan managed to get it to him another way. On Feb. 28, several of Bryan's friends contacted Amberly to meet them at a club and when she did, Josh was in the crowd. She ended up talking to him and he told her of all the signs he had gotten so she invited him to dinner. So I now believe this was what Bryan's intention was as Josh (Eddie) had many signs from Bryan to share with us. Mystery solved!)

As I was talking to Darlene tonight, I relayed one of the things the psychic had brought up about the almost-car wreck she had recently. Bryan had brought it up in the reading last night and Darlene confirmed it today. She said she knew she was going to wreck -- she was sliding on ice -- and that miraculously her car stopped safely. Another car which was coming right at her missed her. She felt lucky to be alive and felt Bryan had had something to do with it. As if to confirm what she and I were saying, the lamp right next to me flickered on and off twice! That lamp NEVER flickers and didn't do it again all night. Just his way of confirming that he did have something to do with getting her out of it safely.

Tonight Jacob was playing a video game and he selected a room in a video house called Kingdom of Hearts. When he went into the virtual room, there was a huge picture of a blue butterfly. He knew Bryan was saying Hi to him and rushed to his grandmother to tell her and then he called me. I have no doubt it was a sign from Bryan.

This morning, Mike was taking his usual walk. As he neared the house, he was thinking about Bryan and telling him he loved him. Just then, two hawks glided down and landed in a tree to the right of him on our street. Smiling, he watched as they took off again, flew over him, and landed again in a tree to the left of him. He was absolutely amazed! He wondered if it was Bryan and his cousin, Steve, who Bryan had referred to in the reading the other night. As soon as he thought this, the hair on the back of his neck stood up and his neck began to tingle. This is confirmation that it absolutely was Bryan and Steve!

Tonight, Darlene called me to tell me about her friend, Lisa. Apparently Lisa has been reading this website and feeling a strong connection with Bryan. She had just heard about the psychic reading we had and that was on her mind. She was also worrying about something to do with her job and fretting about it on her way to work. As she drove, she felt Bryan's presence and began speaking to him about how wonderful he was to be giving us so many signs. Just then, the song "Let it Be" came on the radio and she felt he was telling her not to worry about the job, that everything would turn out fine. A peaceful, warm feeling came over her. When she arrived at work, she found out that the worry was for naught ... she was placed in a department she loved (she's a nurse) and was very happy about it. The first patient she visited, a little girl, gave her a drawing she had just made ... of BLUE BUTTERFLIES! Lisa says the hair on the back of her neck stood up and it began to tingle ... she KNEW then that Bryan had been with her and was confirming it with the picture. He never leaves any doubt! Thanks, Lisa, for sharing this with us ;-)

Today on my way to work, I was really missing Bryan. Something made me look up out my car window to the left and there were two hawks circling. The hawks followed my car for about a mile ... the last time I looked up, there were THREE hawks! I'm not sure who he had with him, but it brought a warm feeling to me and a smile to my face. I have seen hawks several times when I am missing him and this is a rare thing to see in our area. Prior to Bryan's passing, I almost never saw a hawk. So I believe these are signs from him.

Tonight I went out shopping and saw a stuffed lion ... i had been wanting to get a lion to symbolize Bryan's love of the LIon King song and tonight I found the one I wanted and bought it. When I went home, I placed it on his bed. Two hours later, when I checked his room (which I frequently do when I go by it), the lion was tossed upside down in a different spot on the bed and one of the pictures he had sketched, which had been on display on the foot of his bed, was upside down on the floor. I knew he had been visiting to see what new things I had put in the room and this was his way of letting me know he saw them ;-)

Tonight as I was driving home from work, I saw a hawk swoop across the highway -- right by the church where Bryan is buried -- and land in a tree to my right. I have come to associate hawks with Bryan as I see them all the time now. I picked Amberly up from the trolley and was telling her about it. She said she never sees hawks. As we approached the house, at the stop sign one house away from ours, I looked up to my left and saw a HUGE hawk in the tree right beside my car. I said to Amber, "Look! There's another hawk RIGHT THERE!" From her side of the car, she couldn't see it, so I turned down the side street and turned the car around so that the hawk was on her side. I then opened the sun roof. We sat there looking at it and he was looking down at us. I whistled to him and he made a chirping sound back at us. He was looking right in the sun roof at me! I told Amberly that they look so majestic when they are in flight and how their wings are white underneath. Just as I said that, with one mighty swoop of his wings, he took off and soared to another tree in the same yard. It was as if he heard what I said! Had I been thinking a little quicker, I could have taken his picture with my cell phone camera. Drats! Hopefully I'll get another opportunity, but this was really special.

One night a few weeks ago, I was in the kitchen doing the usual tasks. I was standing over the sink and all of a sudden, I felt Bryan's presence behind me. I felt him reach around me and hug me and I felt him rest his cheek on my head and tell me he loved me. This was such a sweet experience ... he had done this very thing several times in life and it was truly a gift to have him do it from heaven. The warmth that filled me for several minutes put a smile on my face and made me feel so happy. It was a private moment but one I still feel in my heart every time I think of it.

This morning, I received a phone call from one of Bryan's old friends. He told me that since Bryan's passing, the doorbell has rung several times in the house where he lives and no one has been at the door or anywhere around. This has never happened before ... just since his passing. It's Bryan's way of saying "Hi" to him from heaven.

On my way to work today, I was playing the cd of Bryan's songs that I had made. When Frank was singing "All the Way", I was singing along with it and really missing Bryan. I felt a connection to him with the emotions this song was making me feel. As I drove, something made me look at a tree to the right of my car. There was a hawk perched right there on the branch nearest my car! I just started to laugh ... it seems crazy, but I am seeing hawks every day in my car both on my way to and from work. I have never seen hawks before in all the years I have lived here except high above in the sky. Now I am seeing them in trees near me constantly. I truly believe Bryan is, indeed, watching me "like a hawk". I get the best feeling knowing he is close by and finds so many ways of letting me know.

Tonight we had Ric over for dinner and "friends" night like we have been doing every Thursday night for several weeks. Amberly also had a new friend over for dinner as well. Anyway, during dinner, the chandelier over the kitchen table where we were eating began to flicker several times. Laughingly, we acknowledged Bryan's presence and his "hello". Crazily, the chandelier continued to flicker for the next 2-1/2 hours. It didn't stop until around 10:15 or so ... and then it stopped abruptly. We could almost physically feel him leaving us. I know from past messages that Bryan is really pleased that we have his friend(s) over like this and I think he enjoys letting us know that he is with us in spirit. Tonight he was exceptionally expressive!

In church this morning, I was looking at the two candle lamps on either side of the cross at the front of the church. I had pondered these lights on several other occasions and wondered if they were flames or bulbs as the light was always steady and never flickered. Today the light on the candle on the right was flickering like crazy and would even bend to the left side, toward the columbarium where Bryan's ashes are buried. I got such an overwhelming sense of awe and felt Bryan was there with us. A few minutes later, the candle on the left side began to do the same thing. This went on for about half an hour and stopped near the end of the service. The lights were burning steady again and not flickering. I truly believe Bryan was acknowledging our presence.

As I was driving home from work tonight, I was talking to Mike on the cell phone when I saw a hawk perched in a tree just off the road on my right. I told Mike I had to hang up and circle back to take a picture with my cell phone camera. I was able to turn onto an adjacent road and drive right up beside the tree where the hawk was still perched. I opened my sunroof and held my phone up to take the picture. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see clearly in the camera view window since I was holding it above my head, but I did take the picture. The hawk looked down at me and turned his head from side to side trying to see what I was doing. I then moved the car forward a few feet to try to get a better angle and snapped this picture just as the hawk took flight:

To my total amazement, just as the hawk flew over my car, ANOTHER hawk swooped down right over my sunroof going the opposite direction! Dratted cell phone camera wouldn't recycle fast enough for me to catch it, but as soon as it did, I jumped up to capture either of the birds as they flew off. To my utter disbelief, I could not see a sign of either one of them! Either they had already flown out of my sight range or they disappeared into thin air. Either way, I was filled with such an overwhelming sense of jubilation. I could not believe my eyes! I have seen more hawks in the past month than I have seen totally my entire life. In fact, many, many more!

Note: If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal. These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.

Bryan’s Journal of Miracles As told by his mom …

March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Bryan’s Journal of Miracles
As told by his mom …