Today is Bryan's birthday and we miss him more than ever!  But true to form, he paid us a visit last night right before we went to bed.  We had turned off the lights in the kitchen (the spot lights that are in a sequence of 8 around our cabinets).  All of a sudden, ONE of them came on again and began flashing like a strobe light.  I was so amazed but realized that my iPhone was right there so I grabbed it and got a short video.  It's been a while since he did this with our lights ... if you have followed Bryan's Journal, you will know that he used to flash lights in our house all the time.  So it was kinda cool that he chose to do this again an hour before his birthday which would have been midnight.  Gotta love it!   To see the video on YouTube, just click on the picture below:  

 

 

July 4, 2013

We had a family gathering at our house to celebrate Amberly's birthday and after dinner, she was sitting out on our front porch swing.  A beautiful black and blue butterfly kept fluttering all around her and finally lit on the ground near her.  It seemed as if it was responding to her comments by moving its wings up and down or holding them still ... it was pretty amazing!  We managed to get a picture of it:

July 15, 2013

Today we welcomed Presley Jane Burch into the world ... she was born to Cris & Kristen today and is an absolute doll!  Over the past several years, hawks on the church, which were a daily occurrence the first couple of years after Bryan passed, have been few and far between.  But since we learned of them expecting a little girl last winter, hawks have reappeared in force and have been on the church steeple again more often than not.  As the due date got closer, they were there morning and night every day.  It was just like it used to be and we could only feel that Bryan was letting us know of his excitement about the new addition!

One night in July we were in the kitchen and the light began flashing again like it did in March.  This month was much to celebrate! Amberly, Cris & Presley's birthdays!  I grabbed my cell phone and got another video of it but this time the light was actually flashing GREEN!!!!!  Bryan's color!!!!!  I was worried it would not show up in the video but it surely did!

Click on image if you would like to see the video

September 4, 2013

Today was a difficult day for our family.  Little Caden had to have surgery on his spine and my sister, Darlene, ended up in the hospital for emergency surgery.  The good news is that everyone is fine and the surgeries went well and everyone is on the road to recovery.  But what I found out later was that my mom had an amazing "visit" from Bryan during the afternoon.  She was at home around 5 p.m. and was worrying and wondering how everyone was doing and how the surgeries went.  A night light that she has in her room, which is a light-sensor activated light, began flashing and strobing and she felt Bryan's presence.  She even asked, "Bryan, is that you?"  And the light got very intensely bright!  It continued on for several minutes while she conversed with him and says she just knows it was him.  Now here's the thing ... it was not dark out, the room had plenty of light, and the night light should NOT have been on at all!  And it had never flashed on and off like that!  She finished talking with him and had a sense of calm about her as she felt he was letting her know that everything would be all right.  And it was.  To follow up, the light has remained off until after dark and has not repeated this flashing performance.  Ah, Bryan, you never cease to amaze us!

October 4, 2013

Today when I got in the car to head in to work, the "Jenny" song, 867-5309, was playing on my radio. This song always relates me immediately to Bryan based on his meeting Jenny in heaven (refer to Tuesday, March 16th, 2004 entry).  I was hoping the song would last until I reached the church where he is buried and that there would be a hawk on the steeple to confirm the message.  Well, in typical Bryan form, the song ended just prior to me getting to the church BUT just as the song ended a butterfly flew across my windshield.  It just made me smile but that still wasn't enough ... I wanted that 3rd confirmation from him that the message was indeed him.  As I looked at the church, there was no hawk on the steeple but, as if to say "Hang on, Mom!  Give me a minute here!"  a hawk appeared right over the highway circling toward the church.  I just got the biggest smile and said HELLO BRYAN! back to him.  Just like he used to do in the first years of his passing, he would always confirm signs in threes ... and he did it again today.  It's just so awesome to know he is still alive in heaven and doing well and -- obviously -- still hanging out with the pretty girls!

Thanksgiving, November 28, 2013

Bryan let us know in his own subtle way that he was with us today.  Our kitchen has at least 3 clocks in it and I almost never ask Mike what time it is because all I have to do is turn my head to see one of them.  But I had just turned off the oven for the turkey and was running around doing ten things at once when I remembered to make a note of the time so I called out to Mike to ask him what time it was.  He replied back, "3:17".  I just started to laugh ... leave it to Bryan to let us know he was with us and ready for his turkey dinner! 

November 30, 2013

I have been reading a book about a young man who passed away a few years ago and had experienced a very vivid NDE (Near Death Experience) before he died and I wondered if Bryan had met him in heaven.  His name was Ben Breedlove.  I was fascinated by his description of heaven and particularly a video he did on YouTube that his family did not even know about until after his death.  I was watching this today at work and was interrupted and had to pause it at one point.  When I went back to it, I noticed the time I had paused it was 3:17.  So I guess that was Bryan's way of letting me know that he has met him!  The video is a bit over 7 minutes in length and is very profound ... Ben was normal in every way except his heart condition which was not obvious to those who did not know him. He chose to do his video in flash card mode ... don't want to get into the why of that right now but you can read about him on the web and in the numerous YouTube videos of his story.  If you would care to watch the video, here it is: 

 

January 1, 2015

Well, it's a new year and I know that last year there wasn't much to say. That was not to mean that Bryan wasn't around us as he definitely was. It was just that the signs were similar to signs we have already posted and nothing was "earth-shaking" enough to post about. Until today. We have on our front porch a sheep decoration that has velcro pieces that we stick on for the different seasons. For winter we have a snowman on the side of it. Today when Amberly came to the house, she noticed that the sheep's snowman was gone and stuck in its place was a BLUEJAY FEATHER!!!!! First of all, this is under a covered porch and bluejays do not come up there. Secondly, the snowman was velcroed in place and now the feather was stuck on. I had to bring it inside and take a picture of it. We looked all around the porch for the snowman and could not find it. Two days later, Mike found the snowman out in the yard. There is nothing to explain this or how it happened, but in our hearts, we know it was Bryan wishing us all a Happy New Year! :-) Here are pictures (you can click on them for larger images):

    

Pictures will open in a new window ... simply close it to return to this page.

And Happy New Year everyone!

 

Easter Sunday, April 5, 2015

People often ask me how to notice signs and what types of signs to look for from loved ones ... this is not an easy thing to answer, but the main thing is to keep an open mind and don't try to look for one specific thing or ask them to do a certain thing to show you they are there.  Just be aware of anything unusual that might occur.  For instance, today I was relaxing at home and working on a database project that I am helping with on Ancestry.com.  Part of what I do is key in names from old census reports, transcribing the handwritten documents into a format that can be used on the web.  As I was typing in the names, I came across a person whose last name was Bean and I immediately thought of Bryan and it made me smile.  But what blew me away -- and how I KNEW it was a sign from Bryan -- was the VERY NEXT NAME on the list that I typed in was BURCH!  Bean Burch?  Hello!  I know it was Bryan's way of connecting with us and letting us know he was with us for Easter.  Coincidence?  No, I don't think so.  I've been typing in thousands of these records and never before were those two names together anywhere.  So that is what I mean by keeping an open mind ... they will reach out to get our attention any way they can.  So if something pops up that reminds you of the person you are missing, acknowledge that it might be them and say hi.  Oftentimes -- at least with Bryan this has been the case -- your acknowledgment will be followed by another "aha!" moment which will verify the message.  Here is a picture of the record that I keyed:

 

September 30, 2016

Those of you who have followed this journal from the beginning have seen repeatedly how Bryan reaches out to me through email subjects letting me know that he is aware of what is going on in our lives. Well, this could not have been illustrated more vividly than this morning.  Mike and I were discussing a recent finding that associated medications taken in childhood for ADHD having a later impact on drug addiction.  He recalled that Bryan had been on something as a child for this and asked me to confirm it which I did.  So we had this very discussion this morning and less than an hour later I go to download my email and this is what showed up:

 

Two emails, one referencing ADHD and one referencing addiction battles ... now SERIOUSLY! how can you possibly deny that he heard us?  This came to my business email account, not my personal one, and I never get emails like these in that one.  Amazing!  Just love it when he does stuff like this :-)

May 21, 2017

Sadly and quite unexpectedly, we lost Mike's sister, Barbara, last Wednesday.  He and his sister Sherry were here at our house sorting through the things that siblings have to do when they lose a loved one. As we were sitting in our kitchen talking about it all, two lights on either side of the kitchen started to flicker and flash.  I immediately recognized the sign from Bryan that he had Barb with him and the TWO lights were the indication of that.  The lights were the ones on the end closest to where we were sitting on opposite sides of the room ... one closest to Mike and the other closest to Sherry.  Amazing!  After a few minutes, they stopped and have not done it again since.  Over the years these lights have been a continuous way of Bryan "messaging" us from heaven, always in direct relation to whatever we are discussing at the time.  It never happens at any other time.  So it makes a very difficult and painful time a little easier to bear by giving us that comfort of knowing they are together on the other side.

May you rest in peace our beloved sister

October 9, 2017

We have been worrying about Stella for a few weeks now.  She has been off her food and her condition seems to be worsening.  Bloodwork didn't show anything wrong.  We made a final appointment for her to visit the vet to see if anything else could be done for her.  We called Cris and Kristen over to say their good-byes thinking totally that we would have to put her down the next day.  After all, she was 13-1/2 years old.  So we were all extremely sad all day worrying about losing her.  Amazingly, all during the day and the next, I received over a dozen emails, all from "Stella" and the subject simply said "very sad".  I know in my heart that this was Bryan letting us know he knew what we were dealing with and that he was sad as well.  I took a screenshot of the list of emails we received:

When we took her to the vet, he did a few extra tests and found that she had a severe infection in her uterus.  She had never been spayed and now would require emergency surgery.  Needless to say, we were very worried about her and due to her age, we were concerned that she might now survive surgery.  The vet who was to do the surgery has been caring for her for the past few years and had established a relationship with her.  I think Stella trusted him and I know she liked him so she was relaxed and content when we left her.  (Follow up 10/29/17):  Happily, the surgery went very well and she has now recovered fully.  She has a new lease on life and we couldn't be happier!  She is almost like a puppy again.  I am so glad that we were able to save her and give her back her quality of life.   But those emails ... WOW!  Can you believe it????  Absolutely mindblowing!  His message couldn't have been clearer!

February 26, 2020

Mike had just found out that he had been one of five people selected as Pittsburgh's Hometown Heroes of 2020.  He was out on a walk and as he was walking past the Fort Couch Middle School, where he does the Bryan's Story sessions for the 8th graders every year, something made him look up in the sky.  He could not believe his eyes when he saw not one, not two, not even three! but FIVE hawks circling overhead.  He took a photo of it because it was such a unique sight and he felt strongly Bryan was there.  As he continued his walk, he didn't get four blocks down the road when he looked to his right and there was a large tree with ALL FIVE HAWKS in it!  And apparently they were watching him because as soon as he started reaching for his phone to get another picture, they all took off and flew away. Here is the photo he took of them:

March 18, 2020

Yesterday was Bryan's birthday ... he would have turned 40 years old.  It's so hard for me to believe that he has been gone now for 16 years of his life, a life that added to much to ours and that we miss SO much!  I was feeling sad this morning as I was thinking about this when my cell phone pinged.  When I lifted it to see what it was, I found the following message from my niece, Megan, whose birthday was the day before Bryan's: 

"Hi Aunt Kathy! So I came across something that warmed my heart and I had to relay it to you. 
Each night I read a book called “Moonlight Gratitude” by Emily Silva. It is a book with 
365 nighttime meditation to help with sleep. So for each date of the year, there is a passage that 
is meant to be read before bed as a self reflection/meditation tool. Bryan sent me a sign today....look" 

 

"In honor of his birthday.  This really caught me off guard because every other passage for each day
 has never had anything to do with anything like this! Look, these are some examples of the other passages:"
   

All in all, I was blown away by this.  I am so grateful when others realize that Bryan has sent them a sign and that they reach out to me to share it.  This made my day!  Love you, Megan, for sharing this with us.

August 22, 2020

For some reason, Amberly and I both have felt Bryan's presence strongly this entire week.  When she was here visiting, we were standing outside and the porch light started blinking on and off really fast and it is a photocell light that should only come on after dark.  It was NOT dark at all!  Yet it kept blinking the entire time we were outside.  Then in our kitchen, we were standing by my center island talking when the chandelier started blinking off and on like mad.  This is a light that never does that!  Yet it did.  And today I was playing Yahtzee on my iPad when I noticed a new invitation to a game under my Match of the Day.  It was Beans143!  I took a screen shot of it and shared it with Amberly.  I wasn't sure what the 143 might stand for and she just laughed and said, "Mom, 1-4-3 stands for I Love You".  Well duh!  I knew that!  LOL But of course I forgot until she pointed it out.  Amazing! 

The other thing that I've noticed is in the past we have had hawks outside our house all the time and could hear them calling to one another.  Their vocalizations are very recognizable when you know them. I had mentioned to Mike that it was funny that all summer I have not seen any hawks around our house nor have I heard them. Within a day, they returned and I can hear them even with the doors and windows closed!  It's like he heard me and brought them back.  I could go on with more signs that Amberly and I have both gotten but they are the same kinds of things that I have already written about many times.  But these things were just vivid enough I felt I had to share.  Stay safe everyone!

January 13, 2022

Today we were at home when our phone rang and the following image shows what came up on our caller ID.  When I answered the phone, no one was there.  We believe it was Bryan reaching out to us just letting us know he loves us.  And yes, the name Bryan is spelled Brian but he can't control everything ;-)

 

March 28, 2022

Today I had my little granddaughter, Presley, over to spend the day with us.  She is 8 years old now and knows who her Uncle Bryan was but of course, she never met him.  While we were in the kitchen making cookies, the light above my head started to flicker.  Presley immediately pointed it out to me and wanted to know why it was doing that.  I told her Bryan uses those lights as ways to communicate with us and he always loved baking, and especially sweets!  A second later, the light directly above HER started blinking.  I told her Bryan was saying Hi to her.  I told her how much he loved cooking and that he wanted to become a chef (a goal she also aspires to) and within seconds ALL of the lights in the kitchen began flashing on and off and strobing like mad.  She was blown away by it! We kept talking to Bryan and asking him if he liked the cookies we were making and the blinking went on and on.  Then all the lights dimmed way down, almost off.  She asked me what that meant.  All I could say was that I felt he was getting ready to leave and sure enough, a minute later they all came back on full bright and that was the end of it.  What was super great about this moment is it gave me a chance to explain to her about death and how when someone dies, it doesn't mean they aren't still "alive" ... they are just alive in a different place.  She recently lost a great-grandfather and she said that he was probably with Bryan.  I agreed with her that he most likely was.  I think it made her feel a lot better about death and that it is not the end but rather a new beginning.  It was a great moment to experience together!

November 26, 2022

It's been a while since I posted anything which doesn't mean Bryan hasn't been around us frequently ... it's just that he hasn't done anything unusual or different than all the kinds of things he's done so many times in the past. But today he did two things that literally blew me away.  The first was that today was the day Amberly and Derek were going to sample the cakes and fillings for their wedding next month.  Mike had picked up the samples this morning for me to take over this afternoon.  When I got into the car, the song playing on the radio was a song I had never heard of before nor had I ever heard of the singer.  It was called "The Wedding" by Julie Rogers. 

I grabbed a quick photo of it to show Amberly and Derek.  Pretty cool!  Then later tonight I have a normal routine where I let my dogs out one last time before bed. We have lights for the lower end of our yard that I turn on and off with a remote from the house above.  As we usually do, they went out and did their business and came back in and went in their crates for bed.  I turned off the lights and then proceeded to do my nightly routine of walking 20 laps around our main floor.  As I was walking, I noticed out the window that the lights below were still on.  For a minute I was confused as I knew I had turned them off. So when I went back around, I went to the door to get the remote and turn them off.  But they were off!  Ok, so maybe I was mistaken and only thought they were on.  Two more laps around and the darn lights were on again!!!  I told Mike that I think Bryan was messing with me so I kept an eye on them.  As I completed my laps, they went on and off at least 6 times all by themselves!!! The only way these can be turned on and off is with the remote.  When I finished my laps, I went to get the remote to turn them off because they were on again.  The remote was completely unresponsive. I couldn't turn them off at all.  I tried every button on it and it wouldn't do a thing. I figured the remote needed a battery and was dead or he just wanted those lights on!!  When we went up to bed, I kept checking and the lights went on and off again a few more times ending up on. I guess he wanted them on all night.  In the middle of the night, I happened to get up and checked the lights and they were off.  The next morning when I got up, I went and checked the remote and it worked perfectly.  I could turn the lights on and off with no problem so there was no problem with the battery.  It's just amazing to me what he can do.  This was definitely a new trick for him and I think he was having a bit of fun with me.  Pretty wild!  Here is a photo of the lights that were on that I couldn't get off: