Bryan’s Journal of Miracles As told by his mom … March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Mike - Bryan’s Father
Kathy - Bryan's Mom (me)
Amberly - Bryan’s Sister
Cris - Bryan’s Brother
"My Mom" - Bryan’s Grandma Mary
"My Dad" - Bryan’s Grandpa Ray
Sherry - Bryan’s aunt (my sister) who is clairvoyant
Darlene - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Debbie - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Lori - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Sherry S. - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Bev - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Barb - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Kelly - Bryan’s cousin (Darlene’s daughter, my niece)
Joe - Bryan’s cousin (Sherry S’s son who passed away a few years ago)
Jacob - Bryan's cousin (Lori's son)
Mike R. - Sherry’s husband (Bryan’s uncle through marriage)
Connie - my sister who died at birth
Bob & Ruth - Bryan’s Grandma and Grandpa (Mike’s parents, deceased)
Grandma & Grandpa LaGambo - Bryan’s Great-Grandma & Great-Grandpa (Kathy’s grandparents, deceased)
Brooke - Bryan’s high school girlfriend and his first true love
Paul Becker - Lori’s friend from childhood who had been an addict all his life and died in his 40’s
Josh D. - Bryan’s childhood friend
Carol - Bryan’s friend from high school
Marge - my friend
Citte - my friend from California who met Bryan last summer
Chad - Bryan’s childhood friend
Ruthie - Our neighbor and long-time friend
Jessica - Bryan's Friend
Ric - Bryan's Friend
Jason (Jay) - Bryan's Friend
Ed - My business partner and long-time friend

Wednesday, September 1

This morning Bryan awakened me with a Freddie and the Dreamers oldie, "I'm Telling You Now." I didn't connect anything particular to this message but it stayed in the back of my mind. The meaning was to become clear two days later.

Thursday, September 2

I awoke during the night at exactly 3:17 a.m. .... I feel Bryan is trying to tell me something but I'm not sure what yet.

Friday, September 3

Today I awoke about 6 a.m. with a clear message from Bryan. For months, I felt he wanted me to write his biography or at least a story about what happened to him to put on the site. I had tried several times to start it and couldn't write anything. This morning when I opened my eyes, the first lines came clear to me. Then the next lines ... then the next paragraph. I jumped out of bed and ran to the computer. Words flowed like water .... I know they weren't coming from me but rather that he was channeling the words THROUGH me. Finally I was able to write Bryan's story the way he wanted it written. It was the most amazing experience ... I had no real idea what I had written until I was finished. In all, it took me about an hour to type. I guess he got tired of waiting for me to do it myself! LOL I have added it to the main page of this website now for all to read. I know this is what he wants. I will be adding more items to it within a few days ... copies of things he had written that he wants me to put on here for everyone to read and help them to understand what he went through.

Saturday, September 4

Darlene called me this morning all excited ... she was on her way home from work (she works nights) when an EAGLE streaked across her windshield and landed right beside her car! She said it just sat there looking directly at her. It happened on the street where she had a near-collision last winter and felt Bryan intervened and moved her car out of harm's way (this was actually brought up in our first reading with Kat Tucci). She says she always sees unusual birds and animals on that street now and she never did before. She always relates them -- and particularly this eagle -- to Bryan.

This morning when I went outside, there was a little white butterfly resting on the entryway wall ... he looked like he was asleep, so I took his picture with my cell camera. Later when Amberly came out, she said he looked like he was dead. Sure enough, when I touched him, he didn't move. There have been several butterflies who have come to our porch to die ... I keep them all in Bryan's room. Also, right outside our door, was the tiniest little feather I have ever seen. It was only about 1-1/2" long but perfectly formed. Very beautiful!

When I arrived at work today, I found a perfect feather lying beside my car. There wasn't another feather around!

Thursday, September 9

Eight months today since we lost Bryan. I can't believe it's been that long! I wondered if he would give me any signs today, but I didn't have anything occur until this evening. We were watching TV when I noticed the lamp post outside the window turning completely off and then coming back on very bright. I pointed it out to Mike and Ric, who was there visiting. Amazingly, it did this for almost two hours! Amberly got home late and mentioned that she had gone to a pay phone today to make a call and there was a huge feather lying on top of the phone ... an immediate and strong sign from Bryan that she recognized right away. Plus she saw two hawks on her way from work. Mike also saw two hawks right overhead on his walk this morning and they were calling out to one another with loud shrieks. I really miss him :-( and wish he could still be here with us.

Saturday, September 11

This morning (overnight actually), I had a visit from Bryan in my dreams. His hair was all blond and he was nice and tan. He told me his hair had turned lighter from the sun and that he was really feeling great and was very happy. He was smiling and when I hugged him, I could actually feel him in my arms. When I awoke, I felt that he had really been there. I had been having a rough night and was worrying about something, so I believe he came to me to reassure me that everything was all right. It was my first real visit from him and it was a wonderful feeling. I hope it happens again soon!

Sunday, September 12

This morning when Mike went for his walk, he found a beautiful striped hawk feather lying right in the middle of the trail. It was over a foot long and in perfect condition! He was very excited to find it and brought it home to show me. It has now been added to the ever-growing collection of feathers we have in Bryan's room. Our cat, Moses, is beginning to stalk his room to "catch" the feathers!

Tonight it was really pleasant out so Mike and I took flowers from our backyard down to Bryan's grave. As soon as we approached it, we noticed a feather lying on the ground right in front of his niche. I picked it up and put it into the flower arrangement that we keep there for him ... this is the second feather we found there that we put in the flowers. When we arrived back home, the chandelier in our kitchen began to flicker off and on while we both stood there looking at it. I said hi to Bryan and told Mike that it was pretty neat that he was letting us know he saw what we had just done and that he was right there with us. I felt his presence in the room and said several more things to him as the light kept flickering. Finally, after about three minutes, it stopped. Sandy, who was in the family room, let out a few barks in the direction of the corner of the room ... she was not near a window or anywhere that she could see out, so I think she was actually seeing Bryan! Anyway, it was a pretty neat way to end the day ... I'm so glad he let's us know that he is aware of what we do to honor his memory.

Thursday, September 16

Tonight Amberly and I went down to her room ... she'd been at work all day and no one had been in there. When we turned on the light, we noticed the red light on her iron was blinking on and off. She immediately commented on it and went over to check it. The iron was not turned on ... it was cool to the touch ... yet the light continued to blink. We both felt it was a "hello" from Bryan. Later tonight, I received an amazing message from someone who signed Bryan's guestbook. Read the entry on September 16th ...

During the night, Mike and I were awakened when our attic fan turned off and we heard a loud noise. The belt that drives the fan had fallen off. When I looked at the clock, it was 3:17 a.m.!!!! Just Bryan's way of saying "hi" during the night ;-)

Friday, September 17

Today my mom, Darlene and I met for breakfast. We were discussing Bryan and I mentioned how Moses has been playing with all the feathers we have collected in Bryan's room lately. Darlene immediately asked me what the feathers meant ... she had never heard anything about Bryan using feathers. When I explained to her how Bryan uses feathers as a sign to us, she was totally amazed. She had just bought a new house and found a feather lying inside the front door the other day! Plus she has had feathers turn up in other unusual places recently and did not connect them to Bryan. Now that she knows, I'm sure she'll be noticing even more!

Saturday, September 18

When I awoke this morning, the lines of an old song that Carol Burnett used to sing at the end of her TV show were going through my head ... I could only recall the first line and the last, so I had to go look it up on the net for the rest. Since I haven't thought of the Carol Burnett show in about a hundred years, I can only attribute this message to Bryan. And the words are very appropos: "I'm so glad we had this time together ... Just to have a laugh or sing a song ... Seems we just get started and before you know it ... Comes the time we have to say, 'so long'." Usually when he gives me a tune like this, I can never recollect all the words and when I do go and retrieve them, it always amazes me at the messages he is conveying. Bryan never really knew of Carol Burnett in life, but I guess on the other side, they have access to all knowledge and can reach out and touch us in any way that WE can connect to. This has been such an amazing learning experience for me!

This afternoon, Darlene and I went to see her new house. She just bought it and we were checking to see if all the rain from Hurricane Ivan had caused any flooding or damage. While we were outside standing in the driveway, a large black crow landed atop the telephone pole right next to the driveway and began cawing loudly. When I looked up at him, he was looking right down at us! He flew off a minute later but was followed by butterflies everywhere. There are no flowers in the yard and I couldn't understand what was drawing them, but there were so many that I pointed them out to Darlene. She then told me that when she arrived at the house, a beautiful butterfly was right outside the window where she had gone to look out and see if I had arrived yet. She said it was RIGHT in front of her face on a shrub outside and she was hoping I would get there in time to see it ... but I didn't make it in time for that one. It didn't matter, though, because I saw several more. I think Bryan approves of the house!

Sunday, September 19

Today is such a beautiful day! The rain has stopped and things are getting back to normal. Mike and I went to church this morning and afterward decided to go to breakfast. As we were waiting for our table outside the restaurant, a beautiful Monarch butterfly fluttered by and I pointed it out to Mike. Just a few seconds later, a cell phone rang nearby and a guy answered the phone, clearly, "Bryan" ... I looked at Mike and said that was really weird that he answered his phone with just the name instead of hello. After he hung up, the phone range again just a few seconds later and he answered the phone, again, "Bryan." I just smiled ... I knew it was Bryan's way of letting us know he was right there with us! And on our way back home a bit later, there was a hawk perched on the church steeple.

All afternoon, I was working on our website from home (my store's website) and the smell of cigarette smoke in the computer room was so strong that I picked up the phone to call Amberly downstairs and tell her to please stop smoking. Unfortunately, she wasn't even home! The smell of cigarettes continued so strongly that I ended up getting a candle to burn to get rid of the smell. I finally asked Bryan to please manifest another smell to identify him with ... smoke is one he has used before but I would so much rather have him use his cologne or even pipe scent. Hopefully he will cooperate!

Wednesday, September 22

This morning Ed and I had to go into the store to meet with a contractor who was going to install skylights in our upper level. The store is normally closed on Wednesday, so it was not usual for us to be there. We stopped into the office to make a few calls and take care of a few business details when a beeping noise started sounding from somewhere nearby. At first, I thought it was our alarm system making the sound but as I followed it, it was coming from a world time desk clock that we have out on one of our cases for sale. The alarm on the clock was going off! This clock has been for sale in our store for several months and has never gone off once in that entire time. I looked at the time and 10:10 a.m. was flashing. At first this did not ring a bell with me but then later tonight I realized that was the time of the morning when Mike and I found Bryan in his room. This is the second time that he has set off an alarm clock that went off at that same time ... the first was on the fifth month anniversary of his death. I don't know what significance today's date has, but the time was certainly right. Maybe I'll figure out was 9/22 means later ....... or maybe he just wanted to let me know he was there with me and wanted to say Hi.

Thursday, September 23

Feathers continue to show up ... so much so that I now have a mug full of them in Bryan's room. I usually find them on the ground right beside my car door or outside the door of my store. Today I found one outside my car when I was leaving the house for work and then again when I opened the door at the store ... both were on the ground right beneath my door. I always thank him and save the feathers to add to my collection ;-)

Friday, September 24

I think Bryan was having a little fun with me tonight! When I turned on our TV, I had to walk over to the cable box on top of the TV to turn it on manually, which I did and the program came on. But when I turned my back and began to walk away, the cable box turned off and the program went off. I turned around and looked and the cable box button was turned off. My first thought was that perhaps I hadn't pushed it hard enough, so I went back and pushed it very hard and the program came back on. I waited a second and then turned to go sit down. The minute my back was turned, the cable box AGAIN turned off! I could not believe it! I turned around and once again had to go over and manually turn it on. This time I didn't turn my back but stayed there for about 20 seconds before I finally started to laugh and acknowledged Bryan's presence. He was totally messing with me and it was just like his personality to do that kind of thing. It gave me goosebumps and such a warm feeling to know he is still around teasing me just like he did when he was here. Amberly later told me that today when she was alone in the house, she heard footsteps in the kitchen over her room. Even Sandy (our lab) was not at home, so she knew there was nobody up there. We both believe Bryan is paying us a visit today ;-)

Sunday, September 26

Driving to work today, I was talking to Darlene and she began relating a story to me that occurred last night. She and Kelly were out to dinner and Kelly was talking about a song by the Dixie Chicks that she likes called "Cowboy Take Me Away." Darlene said she didn't know the song, so Kelly (who sings beautifully and Bryan always loved her singing) began to sing the song. Darlene did recognize it and said that she loved that song but had been unaware that it was sung by the Dixie Chicks. Amazing, about five minutes later, Kelly told Darlene to listen to the music that was playing in the restaurant. At first Darlene couldn't hear it but Kelly began to sing along and then she could barely pick it up ... the Dixie Chicks "Cowboy Take Me Away"! As they sat there listening in amazement, the music got louder until they could hear it clearly. Without a doubt, they felt that Bryan was there with them. As I was driving and she was telling me this, a hawk was circling beside my car as I was sitting at a red light. As I began to move, the hawk broke his circle and began to fly in the same direction as my car! He followed parallel to the road for about half a mile until I arrived at my store. I told Darlene that Bryan was confirming the story and that yes, it was definitely him letting them know he was there with them. I'm so grateful that they are attuned to his messages and acknowledge them ... he just loves it! And when I got out of my car to go into the store, feathers began showing up all around me. I collected six before I finally got inside my door!

Tuesday, September 28

Amberly related a story to me today that was pretty amazing. Late last night, she was letting Nessa out before she went to bed and she was really missing Bryan and began talking to him in her head. As she looked at the lamp post, the light began to blink off and on. As she would talk to him, the light would be steady but when she would ask a question, the light would blink on and off in response. She felt that he was standing right beside her. This went on for about half an hour ... it was such an emotional experience for her that she was literally crying as she "communicated" with him. Right before she went in, she told him she was going in, that she loved him, and good night. The light blinked off and on three distinct times ... she felt it stood for "I love you."

Wednesday, September 29

This morning I woke up with an old Frank Sinatra song going through my head ... "It Was a Very Good Year." I hadn't a clue why Bryan was putting that song in my mind but then about an hour later he got the message to me ... it was for Mike. You see, today is Mike's birthday and this was Bryan's song to his Dad ... kind of a reflection of his life since he turns 60 today. Anyway, I was really excited and couldn't wait to tell him about Bryan's "gift" to him.

When I was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
We'd hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen

When I was twenty-one
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for city girls
Who lived up the stair
With all that perfumed hair
And it came undone
When I was twenty-one

When I was thirty-five
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls
Of independent means
We'd ride in limousines
Their chauffeurs would drive
When I was thirty-five

But now the days grow short
I'm in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine
From fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year

It was a mess of good years.

When Amberly and I went to the card store, we bought a card from Bryan as well. When Amberly was signing it from him, she was flipping through a catalog and came across a picture of a poem to Dad. She knew it was something Bryan wanted her to see at that exact moment and when she read the poem, it was absolutely perfect for Bryan to give his Dad today. So she wrote it on Bryan's card ... he amazes us at the ways he gets messages through in the most unusual of methods!

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Note:  If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal.  These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.

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