Bryan’s Journal of Miracles As told by his mom … March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Mike - Bryan’s Father
Kathy - Bryan's Mom (me)
Amberly - Bryan’s Sister
Cris - Bryan’s Brother
"My Mom" - Bryan’s Grandma Mary
"My Dad" - Bryan’s Grandpa Ray
Sherry - Bryan’s aunt (my sister) who is clairvoyant
Darlene - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Debbie - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Lori - Bryan’s aunt (my sister)
Sherry S. - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Bev - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Barb - Bryan’s aunt (Mike’s sister)
Kelly - Bryan’s cousin (Darlene’s daughter, my niece)
Joe - Bryan’s cousin (Sherry S’s son who passed away a few years ago)
Jacob - Bryan's cousin (Lori's son)
Mike R. - Sherry’s husband (Bryan’s uncle through marriage)
Connie - my sister who died at birth
Bob & Ruth - Bryan’s Grandma and Grandpa (Mike’s parents, deceased)
Grandma & Grandpa LaGambo - Bryan’s Great-Grandma & Great-Grandpa (Kathy’s grandparents, deceased)
Brooke - Bryan’s high school girlfriend and his first true love
Paul Becker - Lori’s friend from childhood who had been an addict all his life and died in his 40’s
Josh D. - Bryan’s childhood friend
Carol - Bryan’s friend from high school
Marge - my friend
Citte - my friend from California who met Bryan last summer
Chad - Bryan’s childhood friend
Ruthie - Our neighbor and long-time friend
Jessica - Bryan's Friend
Ric - Bryan's Friend
Jason (Jay) - Bryan's Friend
Ed - My business partner and long-time friend

Sunday, December 5

Today was a totally Bryan day! He was just giving me signs everywhere! First of all, Mike came to the store with me today since Ed was away. As I was writing up an order, the light above the counter blinked off and on. I just smiled and said a mental Hi to Bryan to acknowledge that he was there with me. Then, a few minutes later, I went over to my computer and on the counter above the computer was a little metal cap ... which was not there before because it was where I usually set my coffee cup. When I picked it up, I realized it was the lens cover for the little flashlight Bryan had bought for me with the blue light in it. This is on my keychain which was hanging in the coffee room ... nowhere near where the counter is and particularly odd because I NEVER set my keys down where this was lying. I was totally confused as to how it had gotten there and when I took it back to where my keys were hanging, the little blue light was ON! And the cap was not on it ... it was in my hand! I was totally amazed as I screwed it back on. I knew then there was only one way for it to have gotten out onto my desk ... Bryan did it!

Later as Mike and I were getting ready to leave the store, the door chime began going off. We have a motion detector that only goes off when someone passes under the front door arch. We were in the back of the store and the front door was locked ... about 50 feet away from where we were both standing. Yet the chime kept going off and on about 15 or 20 times. We both just laughed and said Bryan was just saying good night to us. Mike then took Sandy and headed downstairs to leave as I turned off the last light. When I got to the stairs to go down, I heard footsteps running across the floor and at first, I thought it was Sandy. But when she didn't show up, I called down to Mike who told me Sandy was already downstairs. I don't know what I heard, then, but I know I heard something -- or somebody! -- running across the floor toward me. No one else was there, so I have to assume Bryan created the sound.

Tonight Amberly and I went to see Darlene's new house to see how it was coming along. Everyone was working hard trying to get the finishing touches done as they are planning to move in next week. We had to run to the store with Darlene and as we waited in the parking lot, I noticed one of the high overhead lamps went out. Then the one immediately adjacent to it went out as well. I said to Amberly that the store must be closing as one of the lamp posts just went off. But as I said it, one of the two lights came back on. Then Amber pointed to one at the end of the parking lot that was out and I told her that it had been out since we pulled in ... and then IT popped on! Then the other one that had gone out on the pole closest to us came back on and the one adjacent to it went back out. We were laughing and pointing to the different lights as one would go out and another that had been out would pop back on. This went on for about five minutes with Bryan playing musical lights with us. As Darlene came back out to the car, we pointed out to her how the two lights over our car were out and what Bryan had been doing. Just as we said it, one popped back on again. We all started laughing. He just loves to mess with us! And we love when he does it ;-)

For the past week, our cat, Oreo, has been doing poorly. In fact, the vet says he is in kidney failure and we are now at the point where he has to have daily fluid injections to help his kidneys. I don't know how much time he has left, but he was always Bryan's cat and he has missed him terribly. The first three months after Bryan passed, Oreo literally lived in his room sleeping in his laundry basket on his clothes. Then he finally stopped going in Bryan's room altogether. Well, for the past week, he has spent every single night curled up on Bryan's bed. I truly think Bryan comes and spends time with him ... there have been many occasions over the past year when I have heard Oreo during the night and heard sounds that I suspected were Bryan with him. I have no doubt whatsoever that Bryan is coming to comfort his cat and try to make him understand that when it is his time to go, he will be going with him. It will make it so much easier on all of us to know they will be together again in heaven.

Tuesday, December 7

Today was a sad day for us but I'm sure a happy one for Bryan. Oreo took a turn for the worse yesterday and crawled into Bryan's closet where he remained for 24 hours unmoving. I had promised myself if he was still alive this morning, I would take him to the vet to have him put to sleep. As it turned out, he was still curled up amongst Bryan's shoes but unresponsive. I had prayed that he would cross over during the night, but he did not. So I bundled him up and drove him to the vet. It was a miserable morning ... it was pouring down rain and gloomy outside. As I drove in the rain, I told Oreo how he would soon be in heaven with Bryan. He didn't seem to hear me, which was ok. I truly think his spirit left yesterday. Anyway, he left this world peacefully and as if to confirm it, when Mike and I left the vet, the sun broke through the clouds for the first time today. And as I drove down the road, I couldn't help but notice two hawks perched in the trees right along the roadway looking down at me. I couldn't have asked for a better confirmation that indeed, Bryan has his "Fats" with him in heaven. As Lori said, Bryan got himself an early Christmas present! We will all miss Oreo but I'm so happy knowing they are together again. Below is a picture taken two days ago of Oreo in his cat bed:

In Memory of Oreo "Fats" 1993 - 2004

This afternoon, the temperature got up into the 60's and the sun stayed out, so Mike and I decided to put up the Christmas wreaths that Bryan reminded us about in our reading with Kat Tucci last Sunday. For more years than I can remember, Bryan always tackled this job, so we did it in honor of his memory today. And while we were hanging lights above the front door -- the last thing we did -- Mike was stunned to find a penny lying on the framework ABOVE the door! We were both literally blown away ... Bryan found a way to let us know that he was with us as we performed this task of his this Christmas. Wow Bryan! Thank you so much!

Tonight we went out to dinner and when we came home, I was in the kitchen when I heard a distinct "meow" coming from the front entry/basement stairs area. But Moses -- our only other cat -- was on the kitchen table right next to me. Seconds later Mike walked in from the front hall and I asked him if he heard the cat and he replied yes, he had clearly heard it and it sounded like it was coming from downstairs. This totally blew me away! We BOTH distinctly heard a meow like Oreo would make ... yet Oreo was not there and Moses was beside me. I truly believe in my heart that Oreo was letting us know he made it to the other side and is happily with Bryan. I am so grateful he let us know ;-) This has been a truly amazing day! I am so happy just thinking of Bryan being reunited with his beloved cat.

Thursday, December 9

Today marks 11 months since Bryan passed. I can hardly believe it's been that long ... it seems like just yesterday. I miss his physical presence so much -- especially his hugs and his laughter -- yet the sense he gives me of his closeness to us still truly does make me feel like he hasn't really left us ... just moved to a different place. I can still talk to him and he can still respond ... just not with his voice. For instance, today at my store, I was alone and the front door chime began going off. Each time it would ring, I would get up from my desk and look out to see who had come in. No one was there. This happened about five or six times ... each time I would sit down, it would go off again, and I knew it was Bryan messing with me like he did with Mike and I a few days ago. I laughed and said out loud to him to PLEASE stop it ... I appreciated the joke but I was tired of getting up to check to see if a customer had come in. I have read where if spirit is doing something and you want them to stop, all you need do is ask. So I did. And guess what? He stopped! The chime didn't go off again all day unless it was an actual customer.

Friday, December 10

Today while at the store, I had told Marge about Bryan ringing the door chime. Shortly after that, it began ringing and no one was there. I was telling her how I had asked him to stop the day before and he did. Just then the phone rang and Ruthie was calling ... she could hear the chime going off repeatedly and it was disruptive to our conversation so I once again asked Bryan to please stop. Amazing, it chimed once more (it's a double chime) and then a single chime ... only half of a normal chime ... and stopped. It did not go off again all day except when a real customer came in! This is such typical Bryan behavior ... he was such a prankster when he was alive and I think when he learns how to do something like this, he just has a ball with it. Particularly when it can touch so many others ... like Marge and Ruthie ;-).

Later this evening, I was talking to my mom who relayed something that happened at her house last night. She and Travis, my nephew, were alone in the house. Travis was doing homework downstairs near my mom's room. He came running into her room with eyes as wide as saucers. "Grandma!" he yelled. "You have to come quick ... the washer is going ... it started up all by itself!" My mom went to see what was going on and, sure enough, the washer had filled with a little water and was running ... with no clothes inside and NO ONE there to start it! My nephews and nieces are all very attuned to Bryan and I know that he sends them lots of signs because they are so aware. My mother then told me that she was in two different stores that day and that Bee Gees (her favorite group) songs were playing in both stores. I told her long ago when she mentioned that this happens to her that Bryan was doing it for her. He knew how much his grandma loved the Bee Gees and I think this is just his way of letting her know he's around her.

After my mother finished her story, Jade asked to talk to me. She relayed to me that while she and Lori were shopping last night, she turned around and there was a feather lying in the center of the aisle right behind her. She immediately thought of Bryan and picked it up. And before they left the store, she noticed the song playing in the background ... "the Lion Sleeps Tonight." Lori's kids always get this song as a sign from Bryan. I think it's great that they are so cognizant of his signs. Jade kept the feather ;-)

I feel strongly that Bryan is giving us all a lot of indications of his presence ... he wants us to know he is around us this Christmas. I am so thankful that he is able to do these things for us ... it makes all the difference in the world to us. I thank the Lord every night for allowing Bryan to communicate with us in these ways.

Sunday, December 12

This morning, as Mike and I were returning home from church, I heard a noise and looked toward the back of my SUV. The back window on the back of the cargo door had somehow opened and was completely up in the air! We had just been in church and had not opened the back window for anything ... this is a new vehicle and the window has never popped open on its own before! And there is no interior release that we could have hit accidentally ... we were driving and no one was back there ... except maybe Bryan! That's the only explanation we can think of for this happening. We had just been to his grave to visit him, so I guess he was just hitching a ride home with us. There's no doubt in my mind that when these odd occurrences happen, he definitely has a hand in it. I just love that he makes his presence known in so many ways.

Wednesday, December 15

Today I had asked Bryan to give me a sign for something ... an experiment I wanted to try in reaching him but I wanted him to acknowledge to me whether or not he wanted me to do it. So I asked him to give me a sign if he wanted me to proceed. About an hour later, as I was shopping in Costco, my cell phone began ringing in my pocket with a ring I had never heard before ... kind of like an old-fashioned telephone ring that I didn't even know my cell phone could make. When I looked to see who the call was from, it said "Shop" ... so I assumed that Ed was in the shop and was calling me. But when I answered the phone, instead of someone calling me, I heard my voicemail at the store "Thank you for calling Tri-State Antiques ... " I was totally baffled as I had NOT called the store, it had called ME! I have a flip phone so there is no way an automatic dial button had been pushed and even if it HAD somehow dialed itself, why did the phone ring with a call FOR me, not FROM me????? What is even more bizarre, when I looked at the call history, there were no calls either from or to the shop. I immediately knew that this was my sign from Bryan ... he wants me to proceed with the experiment. I can't tell you what it is now, but if I have success with it, I'll be sure to post it ;-)

Postscript: When I told my sister about this message, she pointed out that it was also Bryan's way of letting me know he was with me while I was "shopping" ... hence using the store phone so that "Shop" would show up in the caller id window! Leave it to him to figure out how to kill two birds with one stone!

Thursday, December 16

Tonight Cris and his girlfriend and I were watching a taped copy of the Apprentice. While we were watching, the screen went totally black for a minute and I thought that the recording had gotten screwed up. Then it suddenly came back on. I thought Bryan was there with us and was letting us know but I didn't want to say it out loud. Shortly after that, we all heard noises coming from the other end of the room, as if someone had moved something on the table. Cris thought it was Moses, but Moses was sleeping in my lap, so it wasn't the cat. After it happened the third time, Cris got up and walked over to the table to see if he could figure out what was causing the sound. He never did figure it out, but I knew ... Bryan was just letting us know he was there. (Follow-up: When Amberly, Mike and I watched the Apprentice recording on Friday night, there was no "black out" area anywhere in the recording ... so what occurred when we watched it Thursday night was not in the recording as it would have been if it had been caused by the network.)

Later that night ... actually about 4;30 a.m., Mike and I were both awakened by a noise out in the hallway outside our bedroom. We weren't exactly sure what it sounded like, but it was a loud enough sound that we both woke up. The next morning, Amberly said she was awakened about that same time but didn't know why she woke up. My feeling is that Bryan is just around us all more right now because of the holiday. We all miss him more and I'm sure he just wants to let us know he is near.

Saturday, December 18

Today I could not find my sunglasses in my car. I am a creature of habit and I always put them inside a compartment in my door ... ALWAYS, without fail. Yet this morning, they were not there. I looked all over the car to no avail. After work, I came out and searched around the car thinking they may have fallen out. Not there. I opened all four doors and searched under the seats and on the floor. Not there either. I called Mike and asked him to check the driveway at home. That turned up empty too. So I figured they must have somehow fallen out somewhere else and I had just lost them. I never take them out of the car ... they are strictly for driving ... so I was totally mystified by this. When I got home, Mike came out to help me get things out of the back of the car. We did that and I went back to the front to get my purse and cell phone and -- to my utter amazement -- the sunglasses were lying there in the MIDDLE of the seat I had just gotten off. Now, I drove to work and home from work and had scoured that car and those sunglasses were nowhere to be found. And I most certainly could not have been sitting on them! There is absolutely no other explanation than that Bryan had somehow gotten them back to me as a gift ... I don't know where they were or how he did it, but I know it was him. I was just shocked as heck to see those glasses on my seat! I guess that was his way of getting a Christmas gift to me ;-) Thanks sweetie!

Sunday, December 19

During the night, something awoke me from a sound sleep. When I looked at the clock, it was exactly 3:17 a.m. I have no idea why I woke but immediately thought of Bryan, especially with the time being his birthday. Then this afternoon, when I told Amberly about it, she said she was awake during the night and something had made her look at the clock at that exact same time. We both feel Bryan was here with us.

Monday, December 20

Today in my store, I bent to pick up an item which had fallen on the floor. When I picked it up, there was a quarter lying beneath it. This was in a spot behind our counter where customers don't go, so no one could have dropped it there. And the item I was picking up was lying there open when it should have been closed. Bryan? I like to think so!

Tuesday, December 21

Today my mom told me that a huge hawk had landed in their back yard a few days ago. She said it was about 2 feet high and she just stood at the window and watched it for about 10 minutes ... she was amazed at how beautiful and how BIG it was ... she'd never seen one this close before!

Wednesday, December 22

Tonight was the long-awaited Clay Aiken Christmas concert that Amberly and I along with our two friends, Ruthie and Arlene, were planning to attend. Bryan had brought it up in our reading with Kat Tucci a few weeks ago and told her that he would definitely be there with me and that he would give me a sign. As we were about to pull into our parking lot, something drew my attention to the store window on the right. And right smack dab in the middle of the window was a huge framed picture of over a dozen large BUTTERFLIES! Now mind you ... this is Christmas, it's winter, and this store display was featuring -- preominantly -- BUTTERFLIES! I couldn't believe my eyes! I immediately knew that was my sign from Bryan and I pointed it out to Amberly and the others. Very unusual display for the middle of the Christmas season! (BTW, it was in a clothing store window.)

Friday, December 24 (CHRISTMAS EVE)

Today I opened a Christmas card that I had actually received several days ago. It had been mailed to me at work from a friend and I had put it in my briefcase to bring home without opening it. This morning, I emptied my briefcase and found the card. Upon opening it, I found she had placed a poem inside, Merry Christmas from Heaven, that was so beautiful and touching and could have been written by Bryan himself. It brought tears to my eyes and I felt that Bryan had a hand in getting that message to us and in the way that I had forgotten to open it unti lthis morning, Christmas eve. If you would like to read it, just click here.

Saturday, December 25 (CHRISTMAS DAY)

Today we all miss Bryan but can't even begin to imagine the wondrous celebration in Heaven that he must be experiencing. I can't even imagine his joy at being near Jesus on this Christmas day. As we opened our gifts this morning, it was obvious that he had had a hand in the selection of several of the gifts we had given to each other. It was pretty amazing! But I had my own special visit from him later ... when I was in my bubble bath reading, one of the lights in our 4-bulb unit (the light closest to me) went out. I stopped reading and looked at the bulb to see if it would come back on. When it did not, I said aloud, "Hi Bryan! Merry Christmas! If you're here, I guess the light will come back on." When it didn't come back on, I figured it had just burned out and went back to reading. About five minutes later, it blinked back on. I just started crying and was overwhelmed by his presence. Then I felt stupid because he's going to think, if he makes me cry by showing me he's around, he'll stop doing it. So I had to pull myself together and let him know that I LOVE him letting me know he's there and that I'm only crying tears of joy. I hope he understands that and never stops giving us these signs. The light has stayed on and not burned out or gone off again since.

Sunday, December 26

This morning, as Mike and I were driving to church, I noticed a very fat hawk sitting in a tree in a yard at a corner where we were turning. At first, I saw him from the back as he was facing the direction we were traveling. When we turned the corner, I looked back and could see his fat white chest reflecting in the morning sunlight. He was truly majestic and beautiful! I had never seen a hawk in this area or this tree before, so I did feel it was a sign from Bryan. After church, we were re-tracing our route and, to my amazement, the hawk was still in the tree. But what was even more amazing was that he had turned around and was now facing the direction we were traveling once more! What a great way to start our day ;-)

Tonight we heard a loud crash in our living room. When Mike went to see what it was, he came to tell me that a chess set had fallen to the floor and broken. I was confused as I didn't know of any chess set that was out anywhere. As it turned out, we have an antique game table that has a compartment inside where we had placed this very heavy marble chess set. Apparently, the bottom of the compartment had a wooden panel that was only attached with small nails. The weight of the marble caused the nails to loosen and the bottom fell off enough that the chess set fell out onto our hardwood floor and shattered. I immediately remembered our reading with Kat Tucci last month where Bryan kept talking about a chess set ... he was relating it to Mike and Christmas and we couldn't put it together with anything because Mike really never plays chess and no one was planning on giving him a chess set for Christmas. However, this table was right beside the sofa where Mike sits to watch dvd's and movies he rents all the time. I believe now that Bryan was forewarning us of this and trying to direct our attention to the fact that the chess set was going to break. Bryan loved chess and he would definitely have wanted to save this set if he could. Unfortunately, we were unable to put the message together enough to do that for him. But I do believe this is what he was talking about in our reading.

Wednesday, December 29

It's been a while since Bryan has awakened me with a song, but this morning I woke with "Best of My Love" by the Eagles going through my mind. Some of the words were so poignant that it brought tears to my eyes. I will be adding it to his songs page soon.

Later this evening, Bryan was playing with me again. I was sitting at the kitchen table working on some word puzzles, which is a favorite pastime of mine while I'm making dinner, and the chandelier began to flicker incessantly. Yet every time I would look up at the two bulbs to see which one was doing it, it would stop. This went on for about 15 minutes before I finally said out loud to him to behave himself so I could work, in a teasing manner, of course. With a last flicker, he stopped. I couldn't help laughing about it ... he is such a practical joker! The light didn't flicker again all night, even during dinner which was immediately after. When I mentioned this to Amberly, she told us that when she arrives home every night, the lamp post flickers at her to acknowledge her arrival. I guess Bryan is just saying "Hi!"

Thursday, December 30

This morning, Mike and I were watching the taped version of Bill O'Reilly's Factor that we recorded last night. Amazingly, his guest was Rick Warren, the author of "The Purpose Driven Life.' What was amazing about this? Just the fact that I just bought the book yesterday afternoon and the author appears on O'Reilly the same day! This same thing has happened to me before when I began reading a certain book, I would see the author on a TV show the same day. Coincidence? I don't believe so ... I believe it is another way of Bryan's letting me know he sees what's going on in my life.

Sherry called to tell me that Mike (her hubby) had a sign from Bryan. He was on a road trip and they were talking on the cell phone when she began to tell him about my experience a few days ago where Bryan turned off the bathroom light and then turned it back on five minutes later. Just as she began to tell him, he interrupted her to tell her that a hawk was in a tree right beside the road where he was driving by. As always, we felt Bryan was confirming the story she was about to tell him and that it really was him who turned off the light on me. Seeing hawks when we are relaying our signs from him has been a consistent form of validation that we have all come to recognize. Although I always know in my heart that the signs are from him, the confirmation never hurts ;-).

Friday, December 31

This morning, I made a huge breakfast for Mike, Amberly, Cris and I ... steak and eggs with potatoes. I made so much that we only ate about half of it. I commented about why I had made so much ... like I was still cooking enough for when Bryan was with us. Just as I said it, the chandelier at the kitchen table began to flicker. It ended up flickering the whole time we were eating and didn't stop till we were finished. I think Bryan was there with us enjoying it vicariously!

My mother told me today that Jade had a visit from Bryan in her dream a few nights ago. She said Bryan came to her and gave her a pink bracelet with butterflies on it. He told her it was an early birthday present (her birthday is this month). She felt he had really been there with her and that it was a visit. Later in the day, she was shopping and bought a pink bracelet with butterflies all over the card that the bracelet was mounted on!

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2005

Note:  If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal.  These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.

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