Bryan’s Journal of Miracles As told by his mom … March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Wednesday, February 1

One of Bryan's friends, Rob, has memorialized Bryan with a wonderful tattoo.  We just cannot express t o him in words how much this means to us!  With his permission, I am sharing pictures of the tattoo here with you:

 
Click on images for larger views

In his letter to me today, he explained the meaning of the symbol,  " The cross is symbolic in several ways because it's on my back, it's as if he is watching my back.  The cross itself is Celtic, a similar design to what Bryan had described to me on several occasions saying he might want a tattoo like that one day.  The knots in the cross stand for several things: friendship, eternity, and peace."  Thank you, Rob, so much for honoring Bryan in this way.  We know he is smiling on you from heaven ;-)

Last night, Mike and Cris and I watched the movie "Madagascar".  Today I received an email with no return name on it, so I always check the content before deleting it.  The first two sentences had the word "Madagascar" in it.  Not a biggy taken in itself, but when I receive these emails, and the timing is pertinent to something that just happened in our life, I strongly feel it is just Bryan's way of letting us know he sees what's going on in our life and he was watching with us ;-).  Emails have been a constant way of communicating with us ... he is very good at finding emails in cyberspace that relate to something happening in our lives and he knows that I will notice them ... and again, synchronicity is soooo important.  Had I received this email tomorrow or next week, it would be meaningless.  But it came the morning after we watched the movie.  THAT is what makes it special!

Sunday, February 5

Super Bowl Sunday!  I couldn't help thinking about Bryan today and how excited he would have been about his Steelers going to the Super Bowl.  He would have been ecstatic!  We were having a small gathering, so all day I was getting everything ready.  Right before game time, everyone was gathered around the TV except me ... I was in the kitchen taking care of all the food I had set out on the table.  All of a sudden, the chandelier over the table started to flicker.  I looked into the family room and asked them if they saw it and they did.  Then it began to flicker like crazy!  We all knew Bryan had arrived!  He was there to watch the game with us!  My dad, my sister Darlene, and niece Kelly have all heard about this type of thing happening but seeing it firsthand really blew them away.  The chandelier flickered for about 10 minutes and then it turned off completely!  Kelly asked if he would turn it back on and I said that he usually did.  Amberly started walking over to the light switch to turn it back on (even though it WAS already in the on position) when it came back on by itself.  From that point on, it stayed on all night and didn't flicker again.  But the point was made ... Bryan was there with us to watch the game.  I just wish so badly that I could have actually seen him.   Sometimes that is the hardest thing ... I'm so grateful that God allows us to have these moments and to know Bryan is still with us but there is also that part of me that is sad that I know he's there but can't see him.  That being said, it was an amazing moment and I was so excited that my family could share in it with us!

Tuesday, February 14

Nothing had happened today THAT I WAS AWARE OF, but Bryan was busy getting me a Valentine's Day gift even though I wouldn't know about it until Saturday.  Read the second entry below for details ...

Saturday, February 18

Well, it's been a rough week.  I felt Bryan was around a lot because for three days in a row (Sunday the 12th, Monday the 13th, and Tuesday the 14th), Bryan blinked the bathroom light each morning while I was in the bathroom.  I felt he was trying to tell me something but I wasn't sure what.  On Wednesday we took our yellow lab, Sandy, to Ohio State University Veterinary Hospital for tests.  We stayed there overnight as she had to be admitted to ICU.  Her only symptom was weight loss but when I had her in to our vet on Tuesday, she discovered a mass inside her abdomen and referred us back to OSU where Sandy had gone years ago for other ailments.  After two days of tests, we got the bad news that Sandy has inoperable malignancies.  We were so sad because we wanted so badly for her to enjoy the pool this summer ... she loves to swim and she would have been so happy.  They gave her a chemo threatment -- not to cure her but to possibly halt or at least slow down the cancer -- and we brought her home.  I think Bryan was just reminding me that he is around us and is especially looking out for her right now.  We don't know how long we'll have her -- it could be days, weeks or months -- the doctor couldn't say.  But however long she has, we'll make it the best we can.  And we know that she'll have a heck of a welcoming committee on the other side!  I'm sure she knows Bryan is around right now for her.  

This morning, I had realized that Valentine's Day had come and gone and I hadn't gotten anything from Bryan.  He never forgot to get me a Valentine's gift when he was alive and he's done something each year since he's passed through someone else.  This year I hadn't gotten anything.  But I was wrong!  When I went in to work -- for the first time since Valentine's Day as we'd been away with Sandy -- I found a sealed package of flocked butterflies lying on my desk.  They were quite old but the package was like new and unopened.  There were four very realistic looking butterflies inside.  When Ed came in, I asked him where they came from.  He said when he had been down there on Tuesday (VALENTINE'S DAY!) working, he found them inside a piece of furniture in our warehouse!!!  Knowing that butterflies are a sign for me, he left them on my desk.  Now this is special for another reason as well ... we are not open on Tuesday and he normally is not even there, but he had to go down that day for something else and just happened to look inside one of the hundreds of pieces of  furniture we have in our warehouse and found these!  When he told me it was Tuesday, I knew immediately that this was my Valentine's gift from Bryan.

Saturday, February 25

Amberly & Brendan (Amberly's fiance') came into my shop this afternoon to visit.  Brendan bought three lottery tickets for Amberly and she spent about 15 minutes searching through all the coins in our cash register looking for a 1980 date to scratch them off with (Bryan's birth year).  When she finally found one and scratched off all the cards, it turned out that she won $17!  It was then that we realized 3 cards -- 17 dollars -- 1980 coin.  Bryan's complete birthday -- 3/17/1980!  He always did love playing the lottery. 

Cris relayed an interesting occurrence that happened to him last week.  He was on his way to a job interview for a job he really wanted. He said he never asks for Bryan's help, but in this instance, he really wanted to job, so he was "talking" with Bryan and asking for his help in getting the job.  While he was thinking about him, the back tailgate window flew open!  This was in my Aviator which has an alarm that goes off and a light that blinks telling you "Door Ajar" if the window or liftgate aren't closed securely.  That never went off.  The window just popped up all by itself!   Or did it??  And I guess Bryan helped ... Cris got the job!

Another pretty cool thing that happened this past week is that Amberly and Brendan got engaged.  The morning after, Amberly found in her email one titled "Man's Wedding Ring".  She immediately felt Bryan was acknowledging that he was aware of what had just occurred in her life and it made her feel really happy.  Emails are still a way he has of communicating with me.  When Amberly first met Brendan, I was inundated with emails from "Wedding Dress" ... so many of them that I felt Bryan was trying to tell me Brendan was the one.  But I didn't say anything to them ... just tucked the emails away in my special folder that I keep.  Turns out Bryan knew before all of us ;-)

Quick Jump Links:

2004

2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

Note:  If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal.  These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.

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