Bryan’s Journal of Miracles
As told by his mom … 
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March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004
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This page is to document the many "signs" and "visits" that Bryan has made to us since his passing ... miracles to those of us who have received them. The one thing that makes these miracles more than just coincidences is the "feeling" that comes over you when these occur. Everyone has expressed the same sensation of warmth, peace, and love that flows through you when they happen and the "knowing" that you are experiencing a true miracle. Unfortunately, this feeling cannot be captured on paper, yet it is so strong and so overwhelming that it makes the occurrence believable beyond a doubt. Keep that in mind when reading these because that feeling happened to each person for every one of these instances ... and as we heard three times from different sources within the first two days of his passing ...
"Remember ... there are no coincidences!"
Quick Jump Links:
Wow! I just had a wonderful sign from Bryan ... actually it happened last night, but he confirmed it tonight. Bryan was always real big on exercise ... he loved to work out, jog, hike, etc. Anything that he could do physically was fun for him and he was always trying to get me to exercise too. Well, I just bought one of those Nordic Elliptical machines to try to force myself to get some exercise. After putting it together, I got on it last night and began to work the pedals. No sooner did I start than the lamp in the room right behind me went out. My initial thought was that I had blown a fuse but then I remembered the machine wasn't electric, it was battery -- and sweat! -- powered. I then immediately thought of Bryan and could almost feel him urging me on. But when I was finished, I went and checked the light to be sure the bulb hadn't just happened to have burned out at that exact moment. I turned the knob several times and the light stayed off. So I wrote it off to maybe Bryan sueprcharged it and burned it out by accident or maybe it was just a coincidence, but the bulb was definitely not coming back on.
Ok ... 24 hours later and I am back in the same room ready to work out again. I was thinking of Bryan again and I felt him tell me to turn on the light. Thinking that it was silly because I knew the light was burned out, I went over and tried it anyway. I could have fell over when it came on!!! I just smiled and said hello to him because I knew he was there. What an awesome way to let me know that it WAS him last night and not my imagination!! I started my workout and the light stayed on all night -- it never so much as blinked! Bryan would have been my biggest supporter and he would have cheered me on every night if he was here, so I know this is his way of letting me know he sees me and approves ;-)
Friday, March 3
Today Marge called me from the shop (I stayed home to work on the bookkeeping for the year ... ugh!). She said when she had gone outside for a smoking break, a white Impala drove by which immediately made her think of Bryan. She hurried to look at the license plate to see if there might be some significance in the numbers and -- no, the numbers held no significance -- but the GREEN SHAMROCK bumper sticker did!!! She felt Bryan's presence and felt that he was just saying "hi" ... and I'm sure he was ;-)
The number 17 is just popping up everywhere lately. John Edward's new show is starting March 17th, I ordered a sink back in January and it is scheduled to ship on March 17 ... and there have been numerous other little things that are either 17 or 9 or a combination of 9 and 17 (his birthdate and date of passing). I always feel they are just little hello's from heaven and his way of letting us know he is around us all the time.
Saturday, March 4
Well ... the most amazing thing happened today! Last night, when I went to turn on the lamp in the family room by my new Nordic Elliptical machine (the one that was working Thursday night), it wouldn't turn on at all. So I had a moment of doubt ... was it burned out this time or was it Bryan?? I wiggled the bulb, turned the switch numerous times, but nothing happened. Ok ... burned out. I left it alone and did my workout in the dark. This morning I was thinking about Bryan and the lamp and I literally heard him laughing in my head. His voice said, "Mom, I'm totally messing with you!" I just started laughing because I felt he was telling me that he was pulling one of his practical jokes -- of which he was famous for. He loved to pull my leg and I felt strongly that this was what he was doing. But it wasn't until tonight when I went back into the family room and -- as I approached the lamp -- I again heard him laughing. When I turned the switch, I knew before it even came on that it would work. AND IT DID!!! The light came on immediately! I called for Mike because I was so astounded that it was working again and as Mike came into the room, the lamp began to flicker crazily ... it would go down as if on a dimmer and almost off then it would blink back on super bright. It flickered crazily for about five minutes as I sat on the floor working on the machine (I had to do some maintenance work on it). I was literally bawling with tears running down my face as I felt Bryan was there in the room with me. This was one of the strongest signs I've had from him in a while and I feel it's because this month is his birthday. He knows he is on our minds more than ever right now, so I think he's trying to spend time with us to help us through it. I thank God for allowing him to do this as it means soooo much to me. This was an especially amazing sequence of events. We've had that particular lamp for 15 years and it has never -- NEVER -- done anything like this or given us any trouble before. Just incredible!
Friday, March 17 - BRYAN'S BIRTHDAY & ST. PATRICK'S DAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN! Today would be Bryan's 26th birthday. I miss him every day but today more than most because this is the day that I gave birth to him 26 years ago. So it's especially poignant for me. While I was relaxing in my bubble bath this morning, I was thinking of him and said a few prayers for him as well as wishing him a happy birthday. I meditated with my eyes closed while doing this and tried to communicate with him although I didn't really get anything. However, when I opened my eyes, I looked at the little floor mirror that I saw a butterfly image on back in October of last year and I could not believe my eyes when I realized there was a large heart drawn in the dust on the mirror. It was a perfect heart lying on its side just as if someone had drawn it with their finger in the thin layer of dust on the mirror surface. And in the upper right corner was what looked like another small heart over two circles that resembled a shamrock shape. I will try to capture this with my camera, but at any other angle than where I was down in the tub, it is very difficult to perceive. But I will try nonetheless. Because with the butterfly, even though we deliberately did not clean or wipe it off after that, it just faded away and was no longer visible. So I'll try to get a photo of this before that happens.
Amberly called me this afternoon to share her Bryan experience. She had fallen asleep late last night but woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. As she opened her eyes, she was staring right at the clock and the time was -- you guessed it -- 3:17 AM! She immediately felt Bryan's presence and wished him a happy birthday.
Sherry came to visit me at work today and brought me a gift ... a beautiful fiberoptic butterfly that she says Bryan has been nagging her to get for me. It is just beautiful and I love it! Later today when she was home walking her dogs with Mike, a hawk flew down and was so close to them that she could see the feathers on his stomach. She said it did a slow figure 8 above them and then flew off. She felt sure it was Bryan letting her know he was happy she had given me the butterfly. I have no doubt that it was! As I drove home from work an hour later, as I passed the church where Bryan is buried, I noticed a hawk perched on the steeple over the courtyard where he is ... keeping guard.
Tonight was the premiere of John Edward's new television show Cross Country. I had been aware of today being the premiere for a few months now and felt that the show airing today was a special gift to me from Bryan to make his birthday easier for me. What I didn't foresee was the many ways he used this show to get subtle messages to me. The entire show was about a woman who lost a SON ... John started out with this validation immediately. He went on to mention "sudden passing", the month of March (Bryan's birthday), the month of October (my birthday), a drug overdose, and that he was feeling that the son had passed around 2 a.m. The woman could not validate that at all but 2 a.m. was the approximate time of Bryan's passing. But the clincher was when John pointed out the blue butterflies on the woman's outfit and said "your son has used butterflies as a sign to you." I could have fallen off the couch! YESSSS!! He DOES!!!! The woman then said that she had a blue butterfly tattoo with her son's name in it on her back. WOW! When I talked to Amberly and Sherry about the show, they both said they were immediately aware that Bryan was using this show as a venue to reach out to us on his special day for us. It was just an amazing experience and I felt Bryan communicating with us via this show the whole time. THANKS Bry!
Wednesday, March 22
Sherry called me yesterday and told me that Mike's grandfather had passed away. She wanted me to watch for any signs that I might get from Bryan in relation to him. I didn't notice anything all day, but when I got home and walked into my family room, the lamp next to my Nordic Track machine was ON! It was still light outside and I had not turned it on. No one else was in the house, so I immediately felt Bryan was giving me the sign Sherry asked for and that Bryan was letting Mike know his grandpa made it to heaven just fine.
Thursday, March 23
This afternoon I went with Amberly to a hospital to see a doctor about a problem she's had for several years ... it's just been getting worse and she's been in a lot of pain, so we went together to see a new doctor who could hopefully help her. When we went to sit down in the waiting room, the lamp on the table between us blinked out the very instant we sat down. We both looked at each other and thought of Bryan immediately. When she reached over to turn the lamp switch, it came back on. I also felt Bryan telling me to look for a butterfly in the waiting room, but although I looked around pretty good, I didn't see it. Anyway, it was nice to know that he was there with us and looking out for Amberly from above.
Friday, March 24
Cris and I went out to dinner this evening. Afterward, as we were walking to his car in the parking lot, we were talking about Bryan. When we approached the car, Cris unlocked it with his remote key and within a few seconds, the locks audibly clicked back down. He stopped and looked at me and said, "that's weird ... why did the locks go back down? I didn't touch it ..." I just laughed because I knew it was Bryan messing with him. Bryan has been able to do things like that in my car and I know from reading other peoples' signs from loved ones that manipulating door locks is something they commonly do. So it didn't surprise me at all that Bryan wanted to drop by to say hello to us and let us know he heard us talking about him.
Thursday, March 30
We have been taking Sandy to Ohio State Veterinary Hospital for chemo treatments for the past couple of months. So far they have been helping her ... today's visit showed that the cancer is not growing and she is doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances. We knew Bryan was with us by the vast number of hawks we saw on our way there ... just dozens! But the confirmation came when I got home and logged on to my email. There were two different emails -- junk mail -- with the sender's last name "Alvarez". Our doctor at OSU is Dr. Alvarez!
Quick Jump Links:
Note: If you have a story or experience
with Bryan, please email it to
me and I will add it to his journal. These incidents have given our
family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only
in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.
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