Bryan’s Journal of Miracles As told by his mom … March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Thursday, June 2

This morning, a tiny little butterfly showed up in my bathroom. He was fluttering all around the mirror and landed on the wall next to it. I was able to take a picture of him with my cell phone camera and will add it to the page as soon as I can ;-)

Friday, June 3

This afternoon, Amberly was at work sending out hundreds of mailings. She happened to look down and noticed the addressee's name on one of the hundreds of envelopes -- "Moseley" -- a name that Bryan had coined for our cat, Moses. He used to call him Moseley all the time. This brought a smile to her face and something made her look at the envelope immediately prior to that one and she was surprised -- but almost felt it would be -- to see the addressee's name was Brian. She couldn't resist looking at the NEXT envelope and when she did, she knew Bryan was with her ... the addressee on the next envelope was Christopher!

Remember back on Mother's Day when Sherry told me she had a gift for me from Bryan? Well, she finally got it and I love it! It was a beautiful Lena Liu butterfly wall plaque ... Lena Liu is my favorite butterfly artist and I have bought several things of hers since Bryan's passing. I would have bought this plaque, too, but I had never seen it! It's amazing to me that she found it. When she told me how she came across it, I had to share it here. She had been looking through a magazine and one of those card inserts fell out on the floor. It was an advertisement for this plaque! As soon as she looked at it, she thought of Bryan and me. Showing it to Mike, he immediately said she should get it for me. She put the card up on a table so she wouldn't lose it. Over the next several days, she said the card would show up wherever she happened to be ... once in the kitchen on the counter, another time on a table she was dusting, once on the floor, all in places that she swears she didn't put it! It was almost like Bryan was moving it around constantly putting it in places where she would see it to remind her to order it, which she finally did. Then after she received it, she felt Bryan urging her to get it to me. And with it he wanted her to get a card for me with the verse inside it that she had seen at Kinko's starting "I am with you still" .... and so she did. So I received my mother's day gift from Bryan a little late but it was all the more special to me for the way that he sent it.

Tuesday, June 7

Today Amberly called her cell phone company to request a new phone number, They didn't allow you to pick a number, you could only take whatever random number came up. Amazingly, the number she got was a combination of her birthday and Bryan's birthday! The entire number was made up of their birthdays.

All day today, Mike and I had been planting flowers in our front flower gardens. As we were sitting on the porch relaxing this evening, a beautiful Monarch butterfly began flying all around the porch checking out all the different flowers we had. He finally lighted on one of our baskets and I ran to get my camera. I got two shots of him as he moved from flower to flower. He stayed for about ten minutes and then flew off.

Wednesday, June 8

So many things have been happening the past several days ... Cris is home from college and I think Bryan is really letting us know he's around. The numbers 317 have been coming up everywhere ... from license plates on cars in front of us and on TV shows and in movies ... the references have been constant. Plus on Monday, Mike had to change the light in the lamp post because it finally burned out. I guess we were worried that it might stop flickering with a new bulb. Well, we needn't have worried! While we were watching TV that night, the light went on and off continually for a couple of hours. And Moses sat in the window staring out there at it the whole time. At one point, as I was driving in my car, I got teary eyed thinking of him and knowing how happy he would be for us all to be at home together again ... I just could almost feel how much he wishes he could be here with us. At that exact moment, a hawk came sailing out from the trees and circled right over my car. THAT made me smile again! It's those types of occurrences that keep me going ... and the fact that within a few seconds more, an Impala ended up in front of me with a 317 in the license plate. We have also had several little butterflies appearing this week ... another white one that camped out over our doorway for an entire day only to fly off sometime after dark. Reminds me of last summer ...

Tonight Mike and I were driving to the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball game when I noticed a white car with a huge orange butterfly on the antenna in the lane next to us. I pointed it out to Mike and THEN noticed the license plate ... naturally, it ended in 317!

Friday, June 10

No special messages from Bryan today but I just wanted to let all of Bryan's friends know that we finally have a bulletin board here on his website for you to connect with one another. Ric was kind enough to set it up for me and I truly hope all of you who visit here will also post stories or memories on his BB or even just say hi to connect to one another. I know this would make Beans happy as he has been "nagging" me to get this thing on here for quite a while. Again, a BIG THANKS to Ric for his expertise and sharing of his valuable time ;-) Thanks Ric (again)!!

Sunday, June 12

After dinner, Cris and Amberly and I were talking about Cris' poker games. He's been playing in an online tournament and is hoping he can win a trip to Las Vegas. I mentioned to him that he should be asking Bryan for help as many of his friends have won when they have asked for Bryan's help with the cards. Cris hadn't done this yet as he felt funny asking for that kind of help. I know that Bryan doesn't look at it that way ... he sees it as a way to still play poker vicariously through those of us still here. We talked a long time about the Vegas tournament and what would happen if he was able to get that far. Anyway, Cris said he would try it. About 15 minutes later, Mike and I went down to the church to visit Bryan's grave as we usually do on Sundays and as we walked up to it, I couldn't believe my eyes. There on his nameplate was a GREEN LAS VEGAS POKER CHIP! I just started laughing ... could he have given a better sign for Cris that he WANTS him to let him help him?? Now, I know that one of Bryan's friends actually left the chip there ... I just don't know who ... but I wonder if that friend realizes that, tonight, he or she was a very important messenger for Bryan. They have no idea HOW important and timely this gift was to Cris! Thank you so much from all of us and from Bryan for being his messenger ;-)

Follow-up to this message: I was talking with Ric and told him about the poker chip and it turned out that HE was the one who had left it. But he had a story to tell about it. He said he had been visiting Bryan one day last week and "something" compelled him to go BACK to his car and retrieve a poker chip to leave on Bryan's grave. He said at the time, he thought it was kind of odd because he felt like something was pushing him to do it but he didn't really understand why. So he went to his car, got the poker chip, and took it back to Bryan's grave. When I told him the circumstances and the way that we found it, it totally blew him away. His words were, "I should have KNOWN it was Beans!" So now he knows what it feels like to be one of Bryan's messengers ;-)

Saturday, June 18

Amberly was driving home from a friend's very early this morning and was thinking of Bryan as she drove. She began to have the most amazing experience ... birds kept landing in the roadway right in the path of her car to the point where she had to stop the car. Instead of flying away, the birds would just sit there looking at her. She began talking with Bryan and birds kept continuing to appear directly in response to comments she would make. She would interpret the bird as a "yes" answer. Several times entire FLOCKS of birds surrounded her car. Cardinals, which she particularly loves, also made appearances. About two miles from home, one cardinal began to follow her car. It followed her all the way to our street and to our yard!!

Sunday, June 19

This evening, we all went to my dad's for Father's Day. Sherry was there and she told me of an experience she had the other day with Bryan. She had been looking to buy a purse for some time and hadn't found one she liked. One afternoon, as she was out shopping, she found a cute purse that she liked enough to buy. As she was taking it to pay, she noticed a tag on the purse that said it was reversible. Turning it inside out, she found that the other side had a big blue butterfly on it! She thanked Bryan for helping her find her new purse finally.

Tuesday, June 21

Cris was playing online poker this afternoon and I've been telling him that his brother wants to play along with him. Well, he got a BIG sign today that I was right! One of the players at his table was beans420! That was one of Bryan's aol names! I was so shocked that I took this picture of it:

(Click Image for Sueprsized Photo)

And even more amazing, the photo accompanying the name was of a mountain scene with waterfalls. Bryan, if he were still alive, would pick something just like that as he loved hiking and camping in nature and places just like that.

Thursday, June 23

As I was driving in to work today, I couldn't help but think about Bryan as I was right beside a funeral. It brought back all the sad memories of that day a year and a half ago. Almost immediately, I started noticing pairs of hawks circling over the highway just as I was passing beneath them. By the third pair I drove beneath, I couldn't help but smile and cry at the same time. I know he wanted me to feel better and after seeing the hawks, it did make me realize that he is still with me. But sometimes even the hawks aren't enough ... I just want to be able to hold him and see his smile again.

At work, Ruthie came in wearing a beautiful blouse with shades of turquoise and chartreuse light blue stripes. And on it was a butterfly pin that matched it perfectly! She said she hadn't seen that pin in a while and this morning, after putting on that blouse, she opened her drawer and the butterfly pin was lying there right on top. She immediately realized that all the colors in the pin were an EXACT match to the blouse and figured Bryan wanted her to wear it ... and so she did!

The butterflies on our front porch are doing a repeat of last summer. Almost every day, without fail, at least one or two butterflies (or moth variants) are sleeping on our front door or entryway. Today we had two ... one on the door itself and one beside the door. They were both there this morning when I awoke and they are still both there tonight at 8:45 p.m. It especially amazes me the ones that stay on the door even though it is opening and closing all day long ... it is right on the glass and doesn't seem to notice the morvement. This is the third or fourth one that has done this so far this year. Pretty crazy if you ask me (or even if you don't ;-) ) Our extensive online album can be seen by clicking here. Album will open in a new window so you just have to close it to return here.

Saturday, June 25

Cris had gone back up to State College to visit Kristen and they drove back to Pittsburgh together this afternoon. Cris told me that two times, when they exited their highway to go to another, hawks appeared over the interchange. This is something that has happened frequently when Mike and I travel ... almost as if Bryan is letting us know he's still with us on the road. As they passed the church where Bryan is buried, Cris noticed a hawk sitting on the steeple. So he and Kristen stopped and went down to visit. Later tonight, they went for a walk and Kristen was jogging around the school while Cris waited with Stella (their new puppy). The second time she lapped around, the found TWO beautiful large feathers lying right in her path that were NOT there on her first lap around. She brought both of them home to us. We believe Bryan was acknowledging the fact that they had stopped off to visit with him and wants Cris to know he likes Kristen ;-) ..... the feathers are really pretty and I have no idea what kind of bird they are from. Large with stripes and iridescent colors ... just gorgeous!

Sunday, June 26

(Added July 7, 2005): Tonight was Cris' graduation dinner party. I didn't find out this story from Ruthie until July 7, but she told me that all day today she was thinking of Bryan and wishing he were here to share in Cris' celebration. She had gone into her downstairs bathroom to put on her makeup to get ready for the party and, with Bryan on her mind, the lights flickered on and off at her. She immediately recognized this as being a sign from Bryan and told him she missed him and wished he could be here. She then told him she loved him and the light flickered on and off at her again. Since that day, the light has worked perfectly and hasn't burned out or blinked at her again. So she knew it was really him! I'm so glad she told me so that I could come back here and add this.

Tuesday, June 28

Last week, I had noticed a picture we have in Bryan's room was moved. It is a large framed picture of a butterfly done in all butterfly wings. It is about 14" x 16" or so and we had it on the floor leaning against the wall next to his closet. Last week the picture was moved ... it was leaning against the corner of the wall as you went into his bedroom so that you could see it clearly from the hallway when passing his doorway. I initially thought Lori had moved it last Tuesday when she was vacuuming in there. So today I asked her if she had put the picture there. She told me she definitely had NOT and that she wondered why I had moved it. I then asked everybody else here in the house and NO ONE moved the picture! I have often read that moving pictures is one of the things they can do but Bryan has never done this. I suppose this was a good one to get my attention! I can't help but see the picture every time I pass his room.

Picture where it normally is located in Bryan's room ....	View of picture where it was moved against the corner ...	View of picture from hallway looking into Bryan's room.

This afternoon a really bizarre thing happened. Amberly and I were in the pool in our backyard. Stella (Cris' little Golden Retriever pup) was on the deck above us. All of a sudden, I heard the water come on and water came gushing down through the deck as if someone had turned on the water hose. I thought at first that Cris or Mike had come out on the deck and turned it on. It ran for about 10 - 15 seconds and then stopped. I called up and no one answered. Stella then came over to the railing and looked down at us. I was so baffled as to how the water went on that I climbed out of the pool and went up to investigate. There was not a single drop of water anywhere on the deck except at the end of the garden hose. At that spot, there was a fairly large puddle. And beneath it, under the deck, was a large amount of water that had rained down. The faucet was turned completely off and the dog's water bowl was full but the water, which was cold earlier today, was now hot and dirty. Amberly and I both heard and saw the water and since Mike was not home -- and Cris was upstairs inside on the computer at the time -- we can only conclude that Bryan gave Stella s drink. All we know is that SOME ONE turned on that hose and then turned it back off and we know that no one but Stella was up there. It was so hot out that this would totally make sense ... it's just the kind of thing Bryan would do with his love for animals.

Thursday, June 30

Tonight an email came into my inbox that caught my attention right away. The sender's name was STELLA and in the subject line was our name, BURCH!! I immediately took this to be Bryan's way of acknowledging Stella and validating that it WAS him who gave her the drink of water in the entry just above.

Quick Jump Links:

2004

January 2005

February 2005

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

2006

Note:  If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal.  These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.