Bryan’s Journal of Miracles As told by his mom … March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Saturday, October 1

This morning I was on my way to work.  To get there, I have to turn right onto a busy highway ... to my right is the church where Bryan is buried, so I pass it every day as I go to and from work.  As I was sitting there today waiting to turn right onto the highway, I was watching the traffic coming from the left when I noticed a hawk flying away from me to the left.  As I watched him and waited for the traffic to clear, he made a wide circle and began approaching my position.  Just then the traffic broke and I was able to pull out.  By then the hawk was flying alongside my car to the left and as I passed the church, he flew right over my car ... I could see him through my sun roof ... and flew right up to the church steeple and landed!  It was such an awesome experience ... when I first saw the hawk, I said hi to Bryan and he turned toward me.  When he actually went to the church, it just took my breath away.  You can see the steeple from Bryan's grave, so the hawk could look down to where he is.  About 1/4 mile further down the road, I passed two very fat hawks sitting in the trees right beside the roadway.  So I definitely felt Bryan was with me this morning.

Tuesday, October 4

This evening Travis came over for Cris to teach him how to play the guitar.  I was in the kitchen preparing dinner when Cris started playing a really fast piece of music and the chandelier in the kitchen started flickering off and on rapidly in time to the music!  I yelled to him to look at it and he and Travis couldn't believe their eyes.  Mike was out on the deck and he could see it as well.  It stopped briefly and started again and then stopped completely.  It was a pretty awesome moment!  It was as if he was there with the guys enjoying the guitar and wanting to be a part of it.  I truly felt he was there.

Tuesday, October 11

This morning I was in the bathroom and noticed that the last light in the fixture was out.  I reached up and tapped it and tried to tighten it to make it light up but it did not.  Assuming it was burnt out, I decided to leave it till later to replace as the other three were lit and I was about to get into the tub.  Within minutes of my getting in the tub, the light blinked back on really bright ... much brighter than normal.  I felt Bryan's presence and began "talking" with him ... telling him how much I wish he could be here with the pool going in.  So much is going on in our back yard right now that he would be really enjoying it.  The light blinked off and on several more times.  Then I told Bryan something that I saw on TV the other night ... on Ghost Whisperer, a daughter who had passed wrote a message in the steam on a mirror to her father.  I told Bryan that if he wanted to ever leave me a message on a mirror, I would love it and I would not be afraid.  Our bathroom is mostly mirror ... the entire tub is surrounded from the tub to the ceiling with mirror.  Then we have a large medicine cabinet with three mirrors on the door.  And I have a free-standing mirror that I use when doing my hair.  I suddenly "felt" Bryan telling me to look in the mirror.  I looked all around and saw nothing ... then my eyes were drawn to the small free-standing mirror.  I saw something on it but didn't pay too much attention until I "heard" Bryan telling me to look closer at it.  When I turned my head, the image on the mirror was a butterfly!  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I wondered if the image was an aberration in the mirror glass itself or if the mirror was dusty ... I couldn't tell for sure.  When I got out of the tub, I checked and it was a butterfly in the dust on the surface of the mirror!  Wow!  When Lori came over a bit later today, I showed it to her.  She saw it right away and also pointed out a cross to the left of the butterfly.  I had totally missed that!  I took a few pictures of it with my digital camera ... pics are below (click on them to enlarge).  It looked much clearer in person than the photo shows but, then again, I was photographing a dust image!

Thursday, October 13

Today was an awesome day!  We had our swimming pool delivered ... the pool company has been here all week prepping the site and today the pool arrived.  It is a fiberglass pool and was being delivered on a flatbed truck from Florida.  Well, the driver radioed ahead that he was on our street and the pool guys told us it was coming.  My dad, who was here to watch the crane lift the pool over our house, and I went outside to watch for it.  As we stepped out onto our front porch, a HUGE hawk swooped down toward us from the lot across the street.  It then circled around and with two flaps of its giant wings, flew off toward the right.  My dad immediately said, "WHAT was THAT?"  With the hair on my neck standing up and tears forming in my eyes, I replied, "THAT, Dad, is a HAWK!  Bryan is SO with us today!"  Several of the fellow from the pool company later commented on the hawk.  One of them said he had seen it sitting in the neighbor's tree and couldn't believe how big it was when it flew down at us like that.  I know that it was just waiting for us to come out so that Bryan could give us that amazing sign.  My Dad, who has heard about these kinds of things but never experienced it firsthand, says he is now a believer.  He was totally amazed!  It was quite an awesome moment.  Several times throughout the day, I looked up and would see the hawk flying high above our backyard.  The butterfly tile in the pool, which we did in honor of Bryan, is just beautiful.  I have kept a web journal of the pool install in case anyone wants to check it out.  Here is the link:  Pool Pics.

Monday, October 17

Today Amberly told us that she had a visit from Bryan last night.  It was a pretty amazing visit ... she said he looked great and was wearing blue jeans and a blue top.  She noticed that his socks were mismatched!  She asked him about the socks and he told her that, in heaven, they have access to any kind of clothes they want to wear but when they "come through" to us here, they can't always be certain what they will look like.  Hence the colors were mismatched.  She thought that was pretty funny.  She said that they were sitting out on our deck overlooking the pool and in the dream, the pool was done and the fiberoptic lights were changing colors in the water from purple to blue, etc., and the waterfall was on.  He told her that she needed to make better choices in her life ... that he had orchestrated better people to enter her life and that the path she chooses to take here is based on her free will and that she can change the course of her life by making the right choices.  (I'm trying to remember her wording ... hopefully she will write up this experience herself as it was pretty powerful.)  I asked her if he seemed happy and she said "extremely ... he looked great ... like he did when he was a bit younger and very handsome but was talking with much more maturity and wisdom ... he seemed older."  He also told her that he is with us all the time and that he sees the pool being built and everything that is going on in our lives but that he is "very busy" there.  He told her he has been able to reach so many more people and help people in ways that he could not from here.  He also told her that this website helps him connect with people ... it is a sort of portal through which he can help people and meet people from there.  She told him he needs to come and visit me and he told her that he has visited me several times but that I don't remember (   :-(    ) .  She asked him to try to bring me into their dream visit but that I didn't show up.  Ironically, all night last night I kept waking up from a sound sleep, looked at the clock, and then fell instantly back to sleep.  This in itself was weird because if I wake up during the night, I usually toss and turn and don't fall back asleep easily.  So maybe I was picking up on some vibes or something.  I did point out to Amberly that the date was the 17th ... (Bryan's birth date except in March). 

Tuesday, October 18

This afternoon as I was working on the computer, Moses (our cat) was sleeping on my desk in front of me.  Suddenly he awoke, startled, as if something had awakened him.  He was looking over my shoulder with eyes big as saucers.  His eyes darted around the room as if he were following something.  Cris was also in the room working on his computer.  Neither of us could see anything, but Moses definitely was watching something in the room as his eyes followed whatever it was around.  Then he sat up and reached his nose up to my bookcase where I have pictures of Bryan taped to the glass door.  He actually went back and forth to two of Bryan's pictures and bumped his nose to each one!  I called Cris' attention to it and he agreed that it was pretty weird.  Moses has NEVER paid any attention to those pictures but it was as if Bryan was there in the room and he could see him, then went to the pictures to show us that is who he saw.  The whole thing was pretty neat and really made me feel as if he were there with us.  Oh ... and this happened at 3:17 p.m.!

Monday, October 23

Mike had an interesting story to relate to me today.  Every day, he takes long walks through the woods along a walking trail near our house.  There is an especially large tree that he says always makes him think of Bryan.  Today as he approached the tree, he saw a huge hawk perched in the branches above the trail looking down at him.  He felt immediately that Bryan was acknowledging the way Mike would always think of him when he would see that tree.  The hawk stayed there, watching him, until he was out of sight.

Wednesday, October 26

This afternoon, Ambelry called me from the road ... she had been upset and was feeling angry and depressed.  She called to tell me that a hawk had literally almost flown into her windshield.  She almost hit it as it flew down at her car out of nowhere.  She called to tell me that Bryan had gotten her attention in a very unusual but definite way!  It made her realize that he was with her and would always be there to support her when she was feeling down.

Friday, October 28

This morning, Bryan did an unusual thing with the light fixture in the bathroom.  In the past when he has wanted to communicate with me, he has either flickered the fourth lightbulb in the light or blinked it on an off completely.  Today, the light blinked brighter as if someone had turned up a 3-way bulb to a brighter setting.  I looked at the bulb and it returned to normal brightness but then, as I watched it, it went brighter again.  As I stared at the bulb, it went back to normal and then brighter again three times in a row.  After the last time, it stopped.  I felt very happy that he had made his presence known to me this way .... I told him to stay close to me in the next few days as Sunday will be my birthday, and I really miss him more than ever right now. 

As I drove to work later today, I "felt" Bryan telling me that I was going to see a hawk ... not just any hawk, not a hawk up in the sky, but a hawk would be perched in a tree very close to the road.  I kept looking for it but did not see it all the way to work.  I was a bit disappointed and thought I had gotten the message wrong, but it was very strong and I was surprised when I made it all the way to work without seeing it.  Of course, I could have missed it, but then that would defeat the purpose of the message if it wasn't going to be easily seen.  Anyway, I forgot about it until the drive back home when again, I had the feeling that I would see a hawk very near me.  This time I wasn't disappointed!  As I was driving home, sure enough I saw the hawk ... right there beside the road at about roof level to my car ... was a red tail hawk.  He was just sitting there right next to the road in a tree that was nothing more than sticks ... it had no leaves left and he was VERY big and visible and no more than five feet from my door!  I knew it was the hawk I was going to see today and it was positioned exactly like I "felt" Bryan tell me it would be! 

Saturday, October 29

I was so excited this afternoon!  Marge came in to the store to bring me a birthday present (my birthday is actually tomorrow) ... she bought me a beautiful wristwatch with a blue butterfly on the face.  Naturally, I loved it!  But what totally blew us away was that, while she was still there, I happened to check our email which i do frequently during the day.  In the time between her coming in and giving me the watch, a new email came into my inbox with the subject  "You'll yearn to reveal your new watch to every buddy you encounter!" What's even more bizarre is that Amberly was there today as well and I had just gone to show it to her.  It was as if he was right there with us letting me know that he had helped Marge pick it out.  They say synchronicity is everything and the timeliness of this email ... literally minutes after I received the watch and had shown it to Amberly ... makes it that much more significant.  Thanks Marge!  and Thanks Bryan!  You're both awesome! ;-)

This evening, Amberly was out with a friend and went to a club where people were in costumes for Halloween.  One girl there had on large blue butterfly wings that were gossamer and just beautiful.  She complimented her on the wings and, one thing leading to another, ended up telling her about Bryan and what butterflies mean to our family.  This wonderful girl ended up giving the wings to Amberly and just totally made her day.  How sweet she was to do that!

Sunday, October 30

Today started out in a very special way for my birthday.  When I awoke and looked at the clock, the numbers were 7:13 ... (Bryan's birthday, 3/17, in reverse).  It made me smile that I would happen to awake at that exact minute.  The next thing that made today special was that our church had sent a notice a few weeks ago that on this date, Oct. 30, during the service, they were going to have a memorial for each person who had passed away in 2004 and 2005 who belonged to the church.  With the announcement of each name, a bell would toll and there would be a moment of silence to remember the person.  Naturally, we had to be there to hear Bryan's name.  I found it particularly unusual that, of all dates that they could choose, that this date would be selected.  I felt in my heart that Bryan was reaching out to us in a special way to remember my birthday.  It was an extremely touching moment and brought tears to my eyes when his name was read and the bell tolled for him.  But at the same time, I knew he was watching over us from a much better place.  It was a wonderful way to touch my heart.

Shortly after church, I left to go to work.  As I passed the church, a hawk flew from the trees nearby and circled in front of my car. 

When I returned home this evening, it wasn't dark yet but when I walked into the family room, Cris pointed out that our motion light outside the window had just come on.  It is always on a low light setting but when there is something moving, it will come on full bright.  It was still light out, so I went over to the window to see what was there.  There was nothing.  As I stood there, the light went back to dim and then back on to full bright.  There was still nothing moving anywhere out there!  It happened once more and I told Cris I bet it was Bryan letting me know he was here for my birthday.  After I left the room, Cris said it didn't happen again.  However, later tonight when Mike and I were watching TV, it did the same thing three times and, again, there was NOTHING moving outside!  It's never done this before so I'm thinking Bryan has a new light to play with ;-)

Quick Jump Links:

2004

January 2005

February 2005

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

2006

Note:  If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal.  These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.

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