Bryan’s Journal of Miracles As told by his mom … March 17, 1980 - January 9, 2004

Tuesday, May 3

This afternoon, Amberly as talking online with one of Bryan's friends, Josh. Josh was telling Amber how he has felt Bryan is with him when he is playing poker ... Bryan used to love to play poker and several of his friends have felt his presence around them when they are playing. Josh believes Bryan has helped him win ... here is part of the transcript from their IM session:

Amberly: DO YOU EVER GO TO BRYAN'S SITE?

Josh: I usually check it frequently, to see if there is anything new

Amberly: DO YOU READ THE JOURNAL OF MIRACLES? I HAVE A COOL ONE ON THERE ... JUST HAPPENED LAST WEEK.

Josh: Yeah, well, Beans always helps me get cards in poker. I just ask him and the cards come up. I have won thousands of dollars playing down here.

Amberly: REALLY? THAT IS AMAZING... GIMME DETAILS!!

Josh: I play in a tournament every Sat and I have won 3 times.

Amberly: GET OUT!!! BEANS LOVED TO PLAY... I AM SURE HE PLAYS WITH YOU ALL THE TIME... GIMME DETAILS... THIS IS STUFF THAT SHOULD BE ON THE WEBSITE TOO!!!

Josh: Ok, well, the first tourney I played in I needed a spade to make a flush, and it was the last hand if I won, so I asked Beans for a spade and the ace of spades came up on the river.

Amberly: WOW, OF ALL THE SPADES, HE GAVE YOU THE ACE, SWEET!!

Josh: When I filled out my March Madness bracket this year I was thinking of him as I was doing it, to try to get help from him. I got 26/32 first round games right and I won by over 40 points, when the championship game came it didn't even matter who won,I had enough points already to win.

Amberly: THAT IS SO NEAT ... HE REALLY LOVES YOU ... HE ALWAYS DID. YOU TWO HAVE ALWAYS HAD A SPECIAL CONNECTION AND I DONT THINK THOSE CONNECTIONS END WHEN A PERSON CROSSES OVER ... THEY CONTINUE IF WE ARE RECEPTIVE.

This next incident is something that I totally relate to Bryan. Let me start by saying that yesterday afternoon, while I was at work, I decided to go to the thrift store across the street to look for a small shelf to use in our work area at the shop. And although the thrift store is right across the street from our shop, I can honestly say I have only been in there maybe twice since they opened two years ago. I just never go there. Anyway, I went in looking for the shelf and as I was browsing around, I noticed a set of white wicker furniture. There was no price on it so I asked the sales clerk how much it was. I have no idea why I did that as I have no place for a set of wicker furniture at home and it was not antique, so I had no intention of buying it for our store. But something made me ask. I thought to myself that it was too bad I didn't need it as it was a nice set. Anyway, today when Lori was here cleaning, she mentioned to me that she had spent all day yesterday shopping for a set of wicker furniture!! She needed a small set for her porch ... loveseat, table and two chairs ... EXACTLY what I had seen yesterday! I told her about the set in Canonsburg and she was very interested, so we jumped in the car and headed down there. On the way down, I couldn't help but notice the hawks we kept seeing ... probably 6 or 7 at least and I pointed them all out to her. I felt Bryan was with us on our excursion. To make a long story short, she loved the set and bought it on the spot. We loaded it up and headed for home. As we sat at the red light leaving Canonsburg, I was astounded ... there were 6 HAWKS circling right above our car! I have never seen more than 2 in that area but there were 6 there and one more over the Quiznos that we were going to which was just a block away. And as we drove home, we continued seeing them. By the time we got home, Lori said we had seen at least 2 dozen hawks ... the record for the most I have ever seen in such a short span of time. No doubt Bryan was letting me know that he had everything to do with me finding this set yesterday and Lori buying it today ... he's amazing!

Friday, May 6

Tonight Mike and I were watching TV when I noticed the lamp post was going off and on several times. I pointed it out to Mike and as he looked at it, I strongly felt Bryan's presence in the room. I swear I heard his voice in my head and he was saying "Mother's Day is coming!" like he was really excited about it. I concentrated really hard and told hm I wanted to be able to feel him touch me ... I asked him to touch me if he could so that I could feel it. Within seconds, a tingling feeling started on my cheek just beneath my eye ... it began to tickle as if a feather was brushing against it. The feeling was so amazing that I didn't even say anything to Mike ... I just smiled and savored it. After about 30 seconds, it faded away but I believe in my heart that it was Bryan's touch that I felt.

Saturday, May 7

Tonight Amberly was out shopping for a gift for me for Mother's Day. She was looking for a specific item and couldn't find it. Finally deciding to go back to a store she had just been to because she had seen something there that she ended up wanting, she was blown away when she walked in and saw a little bear holding a heart with "#1 Mom" written on it and a blue butterfly. It also had a blue butterfly on his ear! She swears the bear wasn't there the first time she was in the store as she is sure she would have seen it. It was the only one there and she felt Bryan wanted her to get it for me. So she did! And I just love it ;-)

Later this evening as Amberly and I were watching TV, I noticed the lamp post go out again. Moses (our cat) was sitting at the window staring outside at the lamp post ... as the light blinked on and off, his head darted from side to side as if he could see something outside in the dark. He stayed there for several minutes intent on whatever it was that he could see out there ... until the light stopped blinking. Then he jumped down. I know that animals can sense spirit's presence as they have shown time and time again ... often when this occurs, Sandy will look out the window toward the light and bark as if she sees something there. It is amazing!

Sunday, May 8 (Mother's Day)

This morning I was in Bryan's room to pray the rosary ... I do this on Sundays when I don't go to church. I often feel his presence with me when I am in there and this morning was no exception. But what happened while I was in there really made me happy. As I was sitting on his bed with the rosary in my hands, Moses (our cat) came wandering in and jumped up on the bed next to me. He began purring and I thought he would just lie there next to me quietly ... instead, he began looking around on the bed as if he had a purpose. Now Bryan's bed has lots of things on it ... photo albums, mass cards with bird feathers on them. stuffed angel bears, flower arrangements and stuffed lions. Moses got up and went sniffing around at the different things, finally plopping down near one of the angel bears. Next thing I know, I heard him chewing on something, so I reached over and felt his mouth to see what he had. When I pulled it away, it was a little plastic heart ... the plastic sleeve that they put on the TY animals that covers the TY red heart paper label. I just immediately felt it was a little gift from Bryan ... and it made me smile. Moses then jumped off the bed and went to lay down under a chair in the room ... and he just stared at me as if to say, "There! Did you like that?" It was really cute! Afterward, when I looked at the heart closely, there wasn't a single mark on it from his teeth. And the paper heart on the angel bear was also in perfect condition. I still wonder how the cat managed to chew the plastic casing off without harming either the paper inside or the plastic heart cover! But it really made me happy ...... At breakfast soon afterward, I was telling Mike and Amberly about it. Amber said she felt Bryan's happiness and said that he was really glad that it made me happy as he was worried that doing something like that would make me feel sad. She said she could feel how happy my reaction made him feel!

Amberly had given me a HUGE card for Mother's Day ... about 2 feet tall ... with a wonderful letter in it that she said Bryan helped her write. She said when she was writing to me, she could hear him telling her what to write. And when she awoke this morning, he literally pushed her out of bed to get the card to me. She kept hearing the song "Just the Two of Us" but with the words "FROM the two of us" going through her mind. She felt it was Bryan telling her that the card was definitely from the two of them ...

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
Building castles in the sky
Just the two of us
You and I

Later this afternoon, Amberly and I went back to the Hallmark store where she had seen the Boyd's bears last night. We wanted to get one for my mother for Mother's Day. While we were there, I found a little bear holding a pillow that read "Beary Best Aunt." I immediately felt Bryan's presence urging me to buy it for my sister, Sherry. He was telling me that she was getting a Mother's Day gift for me from him and that he wanted to thank her, so I was supposed to get this bear for her. I thought to myself that this would be jumping the gun but if she didn't get something for me from him, then I would save it for a housewarming present from him or something else. About an hour later, she called me to tell me that Bryan had gotten me a Mother's Day gift through her but that she didn't have it yet ... she had ordered a butterfly wall plaque for me a few days ago but it hadn't arrived in time. She wanted to email a picture of it to me and let me know that Bryan had come to her and insisted that she get this for me. Amazingly, I then told her that he had bought her a thank-you present for doing it ... and that I knew before she even told me that she had bought something. She was absolutely thrilled later today when I gave her the bear ... isn't that just so great??

Also, while Amberly and I were in the Hallmark store looking at all the little bears, a woman came over to us holding a bear and said, "Did you see THIS one?" And it was one we had not seen ... a little Boyd's bear holding a big blue heart with the words "Moms are Angels in Disguise". Wow! I felt so strongly that Bryan had somehow contrived this and that the bear was a message directly for me. Of all the bears in the store, we had not seen that one. Amberly just looked and me and said, "Oh my God! You HAVE to get that!" And so I did ;-)

Friday, May 13

Today was the beginning of a wonderful weekend for us ... Cris was graduating tomorrow from Penn State! Yahoo! We (Mike, Amberly and I) were driving up today for the weekend. Before we left this afternoon, Amberly and I were heading over to drop off a key for my mom to check on Moses while we were away. As we were sitting at a red light, Amberly noticed a rather large feather floating down to the ground in a parking lot next to the roadway. We turned into the lot and were able to get the feather ... it was a beautiful fluffy feather on one end and the other end was iridescent gold and blue ... I've never seen a feather like that and have no idea what kind of bird it might have come from. But we both felt strongly that it was a sign from Bryan. Two seconds before or after and we would not have seen it. As we were driving to Penn State later on and showing the feather to Mike, I "heard" Bryan's voice telling me the feather was in honor of Cris' graduation. So we gave it to him as a gift from his brother. This was the beginning of a several signs that we got from him over the weekend ... starting with hawks we saw continually from groups of 5 (symbolic of our family of 5) or groups of 3 (symbolic of Amberly, Bryan & Cris) to the many other things which I will now try to remember ...

We were staying at a B & B owned by two lovely people, Wally & Kay, near Penn State. When we arrived, I had my key ring in my hand and Kay commented about the little flashlight I had hanging on it. If you remember from my journal entry back in January of 2004, this little flashlight with its blue light was a gift from Bryan and he had "made" me wear it during his funeral. Amberly immediately said, "Wow! You have no idea how cool it is that you would mention that!" There really was no reason for Kay to have even noticed it ... the light was not on, nor was I holding it up high. It was simply there with all my other keys. Hmmmmmmmm .....

After we had dinner up at Penn State with Cris and Kristen, we needed to find our way back to the B & B. The directions we had didn't help us because no one knew where the highway was that was on the written directions. So we plugged in the destination into my car's GPS system and headed down a very dark, very straight, very desolate stretch of highway. In the blackness, we could see nothing for miles on end on either side of the road when -- suddenly -- there appeared a HUGE butterfly on the side of a building, completely lit up by a spot light but with no sign or name or anything indicating what the building was. Just this butterfly the size of a garage door! We pulled over and I took a few pictures of it with my cell phone camera. Meanwhile, when we arrived at the B & B and told Wally and Kay about the route we had taken, they informed us that coming from the southern end of campus as we were, that was the quickest and easiest way to go. So we felt Bryan had been letting us know he was with us and we were going the right way. The next morning, we went back the same way and this time we could see the butterfly in daylight ... it was actually on the side of a CHURCH of all things! How many churches have you ever seen with a butterfly? Well, I for one have never seen ANY! Here are the pictures I captured of the wonderful sign we got from Bryan that night:

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Click on Images for SUPERSIZED pics!

It was quite a thrill to say the least. Another thing that continued to happen all weekend was Impala cars showing up around us ... white ones, grey ones, all colors, but if they weren't white, the license plates usually had a significant number in it. One time as we were going past a house, something made me look at the door as we flew by ... the house numbers 317 were big as life on the house! It was the only house I even looked at along that particular stretch of highway.

Saturday, May 14

Today was the big day! Cris was the second in line to receive his diploma. We were all busy with cameras trying to capture the big moment. I didn't realize until afterward when I watched the video that BRYAN WAS RIGHT BEHIND HIM during this special moment. The announcer clearly states Cristopher Burch ... then pauses ... and the very next name was BRYAN! It hit me how amazing that was. John Edward states in his book how when his baby was born, he was waiting for signs from his mom and other relatives who had passed so that he would know they were there. Nothing happened and he was disappointed until after the baby was born, seconds later he heard the doctors and nurses talking to each other and ALL of his family members' names were mentioned in their comments to one another. He knew then that they actually WERE there but he should have been concentrating on the moment and not looking for them. Well, I was concentrating on the moment and totally missed Bryan's name being said in the next breath after Cris' ... until watching the video. But when I heard it, I had absolutely no doubt that Bryan was there with Cris sharing his moment with him right on stage. If you would like to watch it, click here for the video (it will play in a new window). Bryan also showed up in one of the pictures ... at first I thought it might have been smoke from Amberly's cigarette; however, she was the one holding the camera and taking the picture and she says she was NOT smoking when she took this. Plus the one she took immediately after this one was crystal clear:

Click for Supersized Image

When we came back to the B & B tonight, we had an exterior door in our room that propped open to get some fresh air. In came a butterfly and landed on our bathroom mirror ...

Click for Supersized Image

The next morning, we found another butterfly (actually a moth or miller) outside our door.

Click for Supersized Image

There were several other things that happened but I am having psychic amnesia at the moment ... I will add them when I remember them.

Sunday, May 15

I didn't know about this until after we returned home, but Lori told me that she and Jade had been out shopping and Jade was talking about Bryan. Shortly thereafter she saw a hawk and pointed it out to Lori. They both felt Bryan was acknowledging their conversation about him. They went into Walmart to shop and when they came out, lying in the parking lot next to their car, was a King of Hearts playing card! If you recall back to Bryan's funeral, my brother-in-law, Mike, put the King of Hearts in Bryan's suit jacket (see Journal January 2004). How amazing is that?!?

She also said that she and Don had been out the day before and were going past the funeral home where Bryan's wake had been. As they passed it, the song "Behind Blue Eyes" came on. This is a song that Bryan's friends sang at a party the night of his funeral and was recorded on a cd that one of his friends made for us. It is a song we all connect to Bryan when we hear it.

Monday, May 16

Tonight Amberly had to run out and when she returned, the lamp post blinked several times in welcome. And when she stepped out of her car, there was a feather lying right outside her door on our driveway. It was a bluejay feather as it had blue on one side .... she knew it was a hello from Beans!

Monday, May 26

Today Marge gave me a gift from Bryan ... Angel Snot! It was truly a funny and totally bizarre gift but so in keeping with Bryan's sense of humor. She said when she saw it in the store, she heard Bryan telling her that she had to get it "for my mom" ... and so she did. It is a clear plastic egg filled with a silly putty type material that looks like spun silk. On the front it says "Jasmine Scented Angel Snot ... The gift of precious fluids from heaven's messengers." On the back is a paragraph that reads:

What makes Angel Snot so precious? The traditional "Bless You" offered when someone sneezes illustrates the sacred relationship between mucous fluids and heavenly salvation. Medieval people believed each sneeze was a bit of soul escaping the body, and only a quick blessing could stop it. The phrase "God Bless You" was a summons to angels to restore the breath, or soul, of the sneezer.

Although no one knows what the soul looks like, we can offer the life-giving breath of angels, Angel Snot. This beautiful pearlescent substance is a solid manifestation of the miraculous power of angels.

In our busy world, it's easy to forget that miracles really do happen. With its lovely scent and comforting texture, Angel Snot is a heavenly reminder of the magic at work in our everyday lives. You will never be alone as long as you keep a little bit of Angel Snot with you.

"Every time an angel sneezes, an oyster makes a pearl." ~ Andorran proverb

Marge told me that the last line about "you will never be alone" was pointed out to her by Bryan and that he wanted me to know that. I feel so lucky to have friends who are open to receiving his messages and totally "get" his sense of humor which I still miss dearly.

Thursday, May 25

All this week, Bryan has made us aware of his presence while we are watching TV each night. Every night the lamp post would turn off and on repeatedly for hours as we were in the family room. Last night ( Wednesday night), I was talking to him in my mind and told him I wished so badly that I could see him or feel him touching me. As I thought it, a tingle began on my cheek to the point where it started to itch. When I scratched it, it moved and began to tingle beneath my chin. This happened about six times ... each time it would get to the point where I had to scratch it and then it would began somewhere else. It just made me happy to realize that he was doing it ... I finally thanked him and it stopped. Tonight, I was in the family room alone watching TV and I noticed that the lamp post had not blinked all night. I thought to myself, OK, that's cool, he has better things to do than hang around with us every night watching TV. As if he heard me, the light went off. I just said hi to him and smiled ... it came back on and stayed on the rest of the night. Pretty amazing!

Twice this week, once on my way home from work and once on the way in, a hawk took off from a tree beside the road and flew directly over my vehicle. And we had our first "butterfly" (moth) on our door this morning. It was there at 7 a.m. and still there at 11 p.m. when we went to bed.

Today I received a package in them mail ... when I opened it, I was removing the paper used for filler. One of the filler papers was a plastic bag and I could feel something in the bag ... it was two pennies!

Friday, May 26

The butterfly moth is still on our door this morning! I wonder if we're going to have a repeat of last spring and summer where we had a butterfly on our porch almost every single day all season. It was awesome ... I would love it if it happened again! (Follow-up: The moth stayed on the door for three entire days and then finally flew away. We couldn't believe he stayed on the door with it opening and closing all the time and he was perched right beneath the handle!)

Monday, May 30 - Memorial Day

Today Amberly and I went to Sam's Club and along the way we saw many hawks, a couple of which flew directly over our car as we passed by. Then when we were in Sam's, Amberly said, "Oh my God! Look!" and pointed upward. There near the ceiling were two HUGE kits ... a butterfly and an eagle (our variation of the hawk). I snapped a shot with my cell camera to share:

Click for Close-Up of Kites

Tuesday, May 31

This afternoon I was working in my computer room online when I was overwhelmed with the smell of cigarette smoke. It was so strong it was as if someone was in the room with me! What is amazing about this is that I was alone in the house at the time and my window next to my desk was wide open and fresh air was coming in from outside, so how on earth could I have smelled smoke? Well, the answer to that is it wasn't coming from anywhere here on earth! ;-)

Amberly mentioned that at work today, she had been thinking of Bryan and wondering about the signs we get. Sometimes you do ask yourself if they are real or if we just "need" them and so make them up in our minds. Even though when we look back over the past 16 months, there are things that can't possibly be explained any other way, sometimes you just doubt yourself. Shortly after she was thinking of that, one of the guys who was in our office fixing their copy machine came up to her and asked if she had seen the hawk. She immediately perked up and asked him WHAT hawk?? He said that in an adjacent office window, a hawk had landed on the window ledge and was staring in at them. He said it came back several times while they were working in that room. She told him she hadn't seen it and then realized that even though she hadn't SEEN the hawk, the message itself was a sign from Bryan. The hawk on the window was there for her. She hadn't been talking to the fellow about anything in particular ... he knew nothing of Bryan or what a hawk would mean to her ... and there was no reason for him to make small talk with her. So she totally connected this with it being a message from Bryan.

Quick Jump Links:

2004

January 2005

February 2005

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

2006

Note:  If you have a story or experience with Bryan, please email it to me and I will add it to his journal.  These incidents have given our family great peace and joy in knowing that Bryan is still with us, if only in spirit, and will live forever in our hearts.

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